![[fr]](http://cdn1.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_fr_hover.gif)
![[it]](http://cdn2.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_it_hover.gif)
![[es2]](http://cdn1.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_es2_hover.gif)
![[tr]](http://cdn2.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_tr_hover.gif)
![[de]](http://cdn1.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_de_hover.gif)
![[ru]](http://cdn3.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_ru_hover.gif)
![[se]](http://cdn2.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_se_hover.gif)
This member hasn't filled in the description.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, I yet again had to explain to my boyfriend how sleeping with another person is cheating. It's been three days, and almost as many fights. He still doesn't get it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20336) - you deserved it (654)
On 02/14/2011 at 8:45am - intimacy - by anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I dreamed I was getting married. I was wearing a white dress, had incredible cleavage and perfectly done makeup. Just one problem. I'm a guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37725) - you deserved it (7268)
On 02/14/2011 at 1:24am - misc - by bride (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I found out that it is never, ever a good idea to put a band-aid of any kind on your penis, because eventually you will have to take it off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6027) - you deserved it (34208)
On 02/14/2011 at 12:31am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I got a parking ticket in the mail. I don't have a car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27465) - you deserved it (2108)
On 02/14/2011 at 12:20am - misc - by Roxas (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, to prevent a fistfight at work, I had to mediate a contested debate between two coworkers on what was evidently a very touchy subject: Which is better, the orange creamsicle or the ice cream sandwich? I was the only one to get in trouble for wasting company time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17572) - you deserved it (3062)
On 02/10/2011 at 12:31am - work - by geoduck - United States
Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by creating an account on Runescape; his favorite game. After finding him in-game, I started talking to him, not revealing who I was. After a while, I asked him if he had a girlfriend. He promptly said no and asked me for nude pics. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41739) - you deserved it (10085)
On 02/09/2011 at 2:22pm - love - by Samyett (woman) - United States
Today, I wanted to propose to my girlfriend, so I bought M&M's which I had customized with the words "Will you marry me?" on them. She ate them all without reading them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33601) - you deserved it (9964)
On 02/08/2011 at 11:57am - love - by Username - United States (Nevada)
Today, it looks like I may have an STD. My fiancé and his friends went to Vegas two months ago. He says he's been completely faithful. They say what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Turns out that's not quite true. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33577) - you deserved it (3102)
On 02/07/2011 at 2:51pm - intimacy - by anonomous - United States (Florida)
Today, my boyfriend asked me to play dead so he could have sex with my 'corpse'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42542) - you deserved it (5557)
On 02/07/2011 at 12:44pm - intimacy - by Anon. (woman) - United Kingdom (Bradford)
Today, I found out that FedEx delivered my $700 package to the wrong person. The person that signed for it didn't even spell my name right. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23793) - you deserved it (1590)
Today, I had the sudden urge to sneeze as I was wiping my ass. Out of instinct, I used my hand to cover my mouth. I never let go of the toilet paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19659) - you deserved it (22958)
On 01/08/2010 at 1:48pm - misc - by Hugh_Jankles (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (67396) - you deserved it (9580)
On 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I saw a girl I haven't seen in 4 years. She used to like me back then. Since then I have lost 50 pounds, and never had the confidence to ask her out. She said I looked really sexy so I decided to ask her out on a date then and there. She said no, she only likes fat guys. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38499) - you deserved it (3055)
On 09/06/2009 at 12:19am - love - by Nofatforme (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I needed new business cards so I went to design and print some. After I designed, I was happy with them and printed off 100 copies. I live at a place called Canal Rocks. I forgot the 'C'. I now have 76 business cards which say 'anal rocks.' I already distributed 24. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12073) - you deserved it (31812)
On 08/20/2009 at 9:23am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I took a cute girl out to an arcade date, and mercilessly dominated her in every game there to the point she refused to talk to me afterwards. Gamer Pride:1 - Getting Laid:0. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6531) - you deserved it (68394)
On 08/20/2009 at 1:45am - love - by razgriz1 (man) - United States (Washington)
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
