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12157114

Offline (the 11/13/2014 at 4:45pm) | Search for a member

12157114

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  • Number of visits : 174
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12157114's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out my parents are divorcing and my mom is moving out. I'm 11 weeks pregnant. Breaking the news should be fun. FML

#21265944
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32089) - you deserved it (6085)

On 09/26/2014 at 6:07pm - misc - by 19collegestudentandpregant - United States (Tennessee)

Today, a few minutes after giving birth to our fourth child, my wife pulled me close and whispered, "I love you, but if you ever put me through that again I'll rip your balls off." Everyone laughed. FML

#21239517
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42449) - you deserved it (13773)

On 08/17/2014 at 2:15am - kids - by you ripped them off ages ago (man) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I had to go to the police station after my son got arrested for shoplifting 15 packs of gum. He got away with it at first, but got busted when he tried to return it all because he "didn't like the flavor". FML

#21170087
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49381) - you deserved it (8227)

On 06/10/2014 at 8:39pm - kids - by idiotson - United States (New York)

Today, one of my year 9 students finished the test an hour early. He decided to spend the time by "stealthily" whacking off. His entire desk was shaking in a silent room. FML

Today, I went to a restaurant with my friend, where my credit card got denied in front of everyone. The staff teased me and made me sit in the restaurant while my friend begged for money outside. FML

#21138924
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42117) - you deserved it (7441)

On 05/13/2014 at 6:37pm - money - by Harry (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had sex with my girlfriend while my parents were out. After they got home, my dog brought out our used condom. FML

#21131413
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45184) - you deserved it (22572)

On 05/05/2014 at 1:30pm - intimacy - by PCJJacket - United States (California)

Today, I started going on and on about dogs and their different types of breed, behaviours, expectancy, etc. When someone asked me how I know all this stuff, I meant to say, "I fucking love animals", I didn't think it through and said, "I love fucking animals". FML

#21131182
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (424) - you deserved it (18899)

On 05/05/2014 at 3:53am - intimacy - by Zekrome - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my art teacher showed off a painting of his name he got in Japan. I can read Japanese, and it actually says "Old idiot". I really don't want to break it to him. FML

#21130223
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45224) - you deserved it (4736)

On 05/04/2014 at 2:12am - misc - by Sam (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I walked in on my son holding a lighter to the end of a pen and sniffing the fumes. Apparently he thought it would get him high. FML

#21119972
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36747) - you deserved it (4706)

On 04/22/2014 at 2:59pm - kids - by wah wah "you raised him" (man) - United States (California)

Today, at my wedding, my husband stood up to give a speech. It started out beautiful, until he told everyone how he started to fall in love with me after I blew him on our first date. FML

#21118892
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53919) - you deserved it (13389)

On 04/21/2014 at 11:43am - intimacy - by Sue Ellen (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my boyfriend drove 20 miles to come see me. The closest we got to intimacy was him showing me how he could unlock his iPhone 5s with his penis. FML

#21118643
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48522) - you deserved it (7066)

On 04/21/2014 at 12:04am - intimacy - by Taylor - United States (Iowa)

Today, it's the last day of my sign language class. At the end of the class, my teacher surprised us by speaking for the first time, also surprising everyone that she wasn't actually deaf. It wouldn't have been so bad had I not just given someone an answer to the test, thinking she couldn't hear me. FML

Today, my students all handed in their 1,000 word papers. The assignment was for them to write about a strong, benevolent leader who influenced the world. Around half of the papers were about Hitler. FML

#21102694
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40223) - you deserved it (9484)

On 04/02/2014 at 7:30am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had to tell my daughter that just because markers say "washable", it doesn't mean that you can draw all over our newly-painted walls. She's 15. FML

#21102656
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40579) - you deserved it (5950)

On 04/02/2014 at 4:16am - kids - by IcyWinter - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my dad got me one of those word locks for my gym locker, for which the password had to be a four-letter word instead of numbers. My dad chose the combo for me. It was "diet". FML

#21101196
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35659) - you deserved it (5226)

On 03/31/2014 at 6:10pm - health - by anon (woman) - United States (New York)



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