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11jon96

Offline (the 11/12/2014 at 11:42pm) | Search for a member

11jon96

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 22 March 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1271
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About 11jon96 : I like food

11jon96's page activity

Visits<b>jtrizzle93</b> - the 10/13/2013 at 1:30pm

11jon96's FML badges

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11jon96's favorite FMLs

Today, due to my short temper, I punched myself in the nose because I wouldn't stop sneezing. FML

#21116112
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21876) - you deserved it (53853)

On 04/18/2014 at 7:09am - health - by Ow (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I lied to the cashier at my local store, saying that I was "nominated to buy the candy for the party" when in actuality I went home and gorged on it alone. FML

#21116013
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36516) - you deserved it (12126)

On 04/18/2014 at 1:37am - misc - by Fatass - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I got paper thrown at me because I didn't agree with my classmate's conspiracy theory that Brian Griffin's death was planned by the illuminati. FML

#20981275
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37363) - you deserved it (4723)

On 12/05/2013 at 12:25am - misc - by Amy - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I called work crying, telling them that I wouldn't be able to go to work tomorrow due to my grandmother's sudden and tragic death. After hanging up, I walked into the midnight release of Grand Theft Auto 5. I had no idea my boss was also an avid gamer. FML

#20884742
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18018) - you deserved it (88899)

On 09/17/2013 at 12:36am - work - by fired (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my mom broke the news that my dad secretly got married two months ago, to a woman he has been dating for 15 years, and that my parents have actually been divorced for 12 years. They just lied about it this whole time. FML

#20585943
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61921) - you deserved it (5424)

On 04/12/2013 at 1:11am - misc - by too young for this (woman) - United States

Today, I went out to a restaurant to meet a girl that I met online. When I arrived I texted her and she said she was wearing a blue shirt. The only person that was wearing anything blue was a fat man smiling in the corner. FML

#20552465
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36732) - you deserved it (9748)

On 03/20/2013 at 5:16pm - misc - by bobthenun - United States (California)

Today, my brother called me, asking if I could help him do his taxes. Since he's a high school and college dropout, I thought all I had to do was a 1040EZ. No, last year he made more than twice what I earn, through self-employment. I have two Master's degrees and work at Burger King. FML

#20527434
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33062) - you deserved it (8093)

On 03/01/2013 at 9:35pm - misc - by tax-man - United States (South Carolina)

Today, after heavy rain my street flooded. While in my living room, I looked outside to see that my elderly neighbour was outside splashing in a knee deep puddle. He was butt-naked and wearing a snorkel and flippers. FML

#20492744
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27665) - you deserved it (3200)

On 02/04/2013 at 4:15am - misc - by Stunned (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I learned it's a bad idea to text and smoke while drunk, because there is an increased risk of throwing your phone off the balcony and sticking your cigarette into your pocket. FML

#20485916
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11849) - you deserved it (54690)

On 01/30/2013 at 5:13am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I'm recovering in the emergency room. How did I get here? Intoxicated at a coed party, I saw a hole in the host's shed and thought it funny to christen it a "glory-hole", only to be bitten by what may well have been a black widow spider. FML

#20182587
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6224) - you deserved it (42540)

On 11/28/2012 at 1:09pm - health - by Widowmaker - United States (Nevada)

Today, I had to eat my breakfast in terrified silence, as my hungover mother staggered into the room, shouted at the kettle for not boiling fast enough, and after a few seconds, screamed that I'd sabotaged it. I'm now grounded for supposedly trying to fuck with her head. FML

#20113953
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22939) - you deserved it (1318)

On 10/12/2012 at 7:00pm - misc - by WTF (woman) - New Zealand (Waikato)

Today, my dad came to confiscate my phone. I stuck it in between my boobs so he wouldn't be able to see it. He said, "Honey, your breasts aren't big enough to hide that." FML

#17935197
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14301) - you deserved it (39550)

On 10/08/2011 at 1:03pm - misc - by G - United States (California)

Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML

#17779717
427 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55727) - you deserved it (5496)

On 09/19/2011 at 10:39am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my dad asked to borrow some money off me, so I said okay. Later on, he told me he'll be using it to help divorce my mom. I pretty much just helped pay for my parents' divorce. FML

#17777617
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26160) - you deserved it (2544)

On 09/19/2011 at 12:41am - misc - by ThisGuy775 - United States

Today, my friends and I ran through a flock of resting seagulls. The birds took to the skies and chased after us, covering us in shit. FML

#17773363
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8003) - you deserved it (45244)

On 09/18/2011 at 4:17pm - animals - by shithead (man) - United States (Wisconsin)



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