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11335599

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11335599

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 22 March 1994 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 96
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About 11335599 : me

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11335599's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend complimented me on my ass. Before I could say thanks, she continued by commenting that she wouldn't mind "breaking it in". FML

#20478275
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35132) - you deserved it (5951)

On 01/25/2013 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by great (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, my boyfriend yet again decided to act like Edward Cullen from Twilight, and got his friend to act like Jacob. Every time they're around, my boyfriend always looks stoned and constipated, and his friend is shirtless. I feel like I'm in a shitty romance movie. FML

#20460771
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42850) - you deserved it (7373)

On 01/15/2013 at 1:57pm - love - by Bella (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend got done with Marine combat training. The first thing he asked for weren't pictures of me but pictures of his car. Missed you too babe. FML

#20198694
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22129) - you deserved it (2851)

On 12/10/2012 at 2:47am - love - by chels (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I took a picture of myself wearing a whipped cream bra with cherry nipples, captioned, "I hope you enjoyed your dinner, now how about some dessert???" I meant to send it to my fiancé. I sent it by mistake to my dad. FML

#20176010
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18503) - you deserved it (44402)

On 11/24/2012 at 12:38am - intimacy - by Whipped Cream - United States (North Carolina)

Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML

#20155776
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27228) - you deserved it (2223)

On 11/08/2012 at 11:54pm - misc - by Targeted - United States (Washington)

Today, my son got expelled after using the photocopier to photocopy his penis. He then used the copies to replace every directional arrow posted throughout the school. FML

#20128322
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29842) - you deserved it (4529)

On 10/22/2012 at 2:56pm - kids - by thebeachisthatway (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my dad saw on TV that in some parts of Africa, it's not uncommon for people to attach make-shift flamethrowers to their cars to defend against carjackers. He's now lost his mind and is forcing me to help him put one together to scare off Jehovah's Witnesses. FML

#20124199
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17889) - you deserved it (2009)

On 10/19/2012 at 5:39pm - misc - by Watchtower? More like fortress. (man) - Norway (Oslo)

Today, I spent hours crafting a tiara to look like the princess from my boyfriend's favourite game series, Zelda. I sent him a picture of me wearing it, and got the reply: "Sure, that's nice, but you'd be better as Majora." FML

#20079245
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19212) - you deserved it (3164)

On 09/19/2012 at 1:25pm - love - by MT (woman) - Finland

Today, while helping my father build a shelf, I suggested that we should probably use the instruction manual. He suggested I should probably shut the fuck up and do it his way. FML

#18738481
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27055) - you deserved it (14021)

On 01/07/2012 at 7:12pm - misc - by Jman6295 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was working at Publix ringing up some 70 year old woman. She says "Man, you're a fast cashier, I like my men fast!" and then gives me a wink. I got really nervous and didn't know how to respond, so not thinking, I quickly said, "Yeah, me too." FML

#8565371
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24641) - you deserved it (6712)

On 02/22/2010 at 8:29pm - work - by Patrick (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend of over a year told me that he will never marry me because we are different ethnicities and his parents don't approve. I was of course very upset and crying. His way to comfort me was by saying, "Don't worry, I will always cheat on my wife with you." FML

#6778697
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42019) - you deserved it (3326)

On 12/16/2009 at 2:28pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I fell in love with a girl on the internet, she's great and funny. She says she's 16, but everyone keeps telling me she's only 11 and that I'm a pedophile. FML

#781
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7510) - you deserved it (35363)

On 01/07/2009 at 3:17pm - love - by Sidney - United Kingdom (London)



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