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10000th

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10000th

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  • Number of visits : 443
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10000th's page activity

Visits<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 6:59pm<b>bulgert</b> - the 02/25/2014 at 3:29pm

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10000th's favorite FMLs

Today, one of my year 9 students finished the test an hour early. He decided to spend the time by "stealthily" whacking off. His entire desk was shaking in a silent room. FML

Today, a customer cussed me out for hiding behind the counter a jacket she's been "eyeing since it came out". She loudly exclaimed that she was going to report me to my manager and get me "fired." It was my personal jacket that we don't even sell. FML

Today, I started going on and on about dogs and their different types of breed, behaviours, expectancy, etc. When someone asked me how I know all this stuff, I meant to say, "I fucking love animals", I didn't think it through and said, "I love fucking animals". FML

#21131182
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (373) - you deserved it (18810)

On 05/05/2014 at 3:53am - intimacy - by Zekrome - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I asked the girl I like if she had her eye on anyone, subtly hinting that I wanted to date her. I sat there while she confessed her love for her cousin. FML

#21130812
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47298) - you deserved it (5630)

On 05/04/2014 at 8:13pm - love - by Wowthanks - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was in the car with my boyfriend, who was driving down the highway with the windows down. All of a sudden, everything went black. A cattle truck had sped past, and I had been hit by cow faeces travelling at 110km an hour. My boyfriend was hysterical. None of it hit him. FML

#21127873
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48616) - you deserved it (4421)

On 05/01/2014 at 10:17am - animals - by Felicityfrank (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while I was making dinner, my husband argued that our new dog has intelligence issues, and we should give him away. I angrily defended the poor thing, and had almost won, until the dog walked over and licked the inside of the hot oven door. FML

#21126864
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42426) - you deserved it (5548)

On 04/30/2014 at 1:17am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I learned my girlfriend was cheating on me. After giving her a second chance and meeting her parents for the first time, her father said at the dinner table, "I like the other guy better." FML

#21126578
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42544) - you deserved it (6663)

On 04/29/2014 at 8:10pm - misc - by gircos (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, while at my brother's funeral, my girlfriend decided to tell me she's been sleeping with him. FML

#21126504
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54137) - you deserved it (3347)

On 04/29/2014 at 6:40pm - love - by loserman - United States (Texas)

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend, and I cheekily told him about something I'd read that's supposed to feel really good during sex. I then heard his sister sarcastically say, "Yeah, that does feel pretty good". Apparently he'd had me on speaker the whole time. FML

#21126318
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43155) - you deserved it (7768)

On 04/29/2014 at 2:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of three years. I worked my ass off planning everything down to a T. It seemed perfect, until I actually proposed, at which point I was rejected and dumped, in front of my family, friends and two coworkers. FML

#21126146
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49573) - you deserved it (5250)

On 04/29/2014 at 10:18am - love - by willstaysingle (man) -

Today, my escape artist of a dog got out. She not only chased someone else's cat into someone else's house, but promptly defecated all over their living room floor out of excitement. That's one way to meet the new neighbors. FML

#21125451
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35300) - you deserved it (4442)

On 04/28/2014 at 5:03pm - animals - by Cat vs. Dog - United States (Wyoming)

Today, I got a Facebook message from a cute guy I used to work with. He admitted to liking me and when I asked why we never hung out he admitted that my dad, his boss at the time, threatened every guy I have ever worked with. FML

#21113585
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48425) - you deserved it (3784)

On 04/15/2014 at 10:01am - love - by cricha4208 - United States (Missouri)

Today, my house was robbed. My two 70-pound German Shepherds obeyed me when I told them to attack. They also obeyed the robber when he said, "Sit". FML

#21113538
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52032) - you deserved it (4704)

On 04/15/2014 at 8:08am - animals - by stupiddog (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to tell my ex that I'm pregnant with his baby. I sent him a casual "Hey :)" text to try to ease into things. He replied, "WHO THE FUCK IS THIS?" and ended up threatening to make my life hell if I don't tell my new boyfriend that the child is his. FML

#21105190
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41504) - you deserved it (12872)

On 04/05/2014 at 1:48pm - work - by =( (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got up early in the morning to get a snack, only to walk in on my "vegan" housemate eating a turkey sandwich. This bastard harasses me every other day about my meat-eating, but all he could do after he noticed me was drop the sandwich and claim he'd been sleepwalking. FML

#21104594
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38089) - you deserved it (3100)

On 04/04/2014 at 6:07pm - misc - by fuck you with a bacon cock (man) - United Kingdom (Moray)



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