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0whitens's favorite FMLs
Today, my son told his 8-year-old sister that since she swallowed an apple seed, that a tree is going to grow in her stomach and kill her. She's inconsolable and won't believe that she'll be fine, because "they say that to all the dying people on TV". FML
by ulisha5 / 08/02/2013 at 5:54pm / Bulgaria (Burgas) / Kids
by life insurance for 1 / 05/30/2013 at 12:29pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, the highlight of my day was a conversation about Disney, which ranged from Pocahontas lunch boxes to Disneyland Paris. I don't know who was more excited; me, a 20 year old man, or the 6 year old girl I was talking to. FML
by Anonymous / 11/17/2010 at 2:08pm / United Kingdom / Kids
Today, I couldn't sleep because I had the worst time positioning myself around my cat who was sleeping in my bed. I couldn't kick my cat out of bed because I earlier today had an argument with my brother over which of us the cat loved more. FML
by Teresa / 05/28/2010 at 12:30am / United States (Kansas) / Animals
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- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his…
- Today, after shaking my boss's hand, I noticed that he had a piece of toilet paper stuck to one of… Today, my boyfriend whispered to me, “I’m so tired of these fucking mosquitos.” When I asked why he… Today, at lunch, my seven-year-old daughter and I had a chat. I asked her if she had a sweetheart.…