Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

0opsie

Search for a member

0opsie

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3247
  • Number of comments : 304
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

0opsie's page activity

Visits<b>piedpiper303</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 11:32pm<b>maggieisbatman</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 9:15pm<b>me_ni</b> - the 03/19/2014 at 4:23pm<b>Arni792</b> - the 03/01/2014 at 1:54am<b>Linebacker74</b> - the 12/17/2013 at 12:00am<b>shadow134</b> - the 11/07/2013 at 5:21pm<b>hassi158</b> - the 05/19/2013 at 5:36am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 04/15/2013 at 8:32am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:27pm<b>boopityboppity</b> - the 11/26/2010 at 9:07am<b>Driftz</b> - the 11/22/2010 at 6:23pm<b>YaLuckyGal</b> - the 11/05/2010 at 2:35pm<b>premiermois</b> - the 09/29/2010 at 7:08am<b>Oz_Alice</b> - the 09/28/2010 at 9:14am<b>illmatic2</b> - the 08/20/2010 at 4:04pm

0opsie's FML badges

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of 0opsie's badges

0opsie's favorite FMLs

Today, a woman came up to me at work and screamed at me for "taking forever" to come and wait at her table. I work at Wendy's. FML

#20056260
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23305) - you deserved it (1587)

On 09/03/2012 at 7:43pm - work - by FastFoodWaiter (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was dumped by my boyfriend. He claimed that it's because he's an agent fighting the Mafia, and he doesn't want to put my life at risk through reprisal attacks. FML

#20045057
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20666) - you deserved it (2185) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/27/2012 at 6:21pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got a flat tire. The spare was also flat, so I had no other choice but to walk home. I got to my house and realized I'd left the front door key and garage clicker in my car 5 miles away. FML

#20044019
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18610) - you deserved it (8736)

On 08/27/2012 at 3:29am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend's phone was stolen. I have no idea who I've been sexting the entire afternoon. FML

#20033737
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29069) - you deserved it (8302)

On 08/21/2012 at 11:29am - intimacy - by Sexting (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend used various infomercial phrases like, "Wait, there's more!" during sex. FML

#20019911
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27711) - you deserved it (4299)

On 08/14/2012 at 1:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I was at a Chinese buffet, and I got a fortune cookie. I opened it, and it said, "The love of your life is sitting across from you". The only thing across from me was an empty chair. FML

#20007961
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31793) - you deserved it (3004)

On 08/07/2012 at 4:13pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my daughter tried to sneak out of the house. When I caught her, she freaked out and punched me in the face. She then "snapped out of it" and claimed she was sleepwalking. FML

#19842330
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25354) - you deserved it (3267)

On 06/25/2012 at 12:08am - kids - by abbielane - United States (Michigan)

Today, I decided to motivate myself to workout by looking at a picture of a guy with a six-pack on my computer screen while doing abs. My dad walked in after I finished and was still breathing heavily from working out. FML

#19795313
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24006) - you deserved it (6639)

On 06/16/2012 at 1:45am - misc - by NotGay (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was worried about my brother because he said that his new medication was making him hallucinate. I told him he should see a doctor right away. He said it was fine and that he had already seen a doctor. I later found out the doctor he was talking about was a hallucination. FML

#19536164
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23369) - you deserved it (2181)

On 04/27/2012 at 4:22am - health - by PickedOff (woman) - United States

Today, I paid for someone else's pee so that I could pass my drug test. I didn't pass the drug test. FML

#19520767
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8056) - you deserved it (62177)

On 04/24/2012 at 4:29am - work - by xharmonyx - United States

Today, my daughter sat me down for a long talk. It turns out that she thinks she is the Chosen One. FML

Today, I went to a concert. Being 6'5" was a great advantage because I could see the stage from wherever I was stood. On the downside, I was used by people as a meeting point. FML

#18447491
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27768) - you deserved it (3516)

On 12/06/2011 at 8:01pm - misc - by jackgrant (man) - Iran Islamic Republic of

Today, at the point of orgasm, my boyfriend screamed out, "Is this all there is?!" then rolled over and stared blankly at the ceiling without speaking for ages. This happens a lot. FML

#18335372
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34840) - you deserved it (5508)

On 11/24/2011 at 8:57am - intimacy - by Jane (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I ran into my boyfriend's dad. His exact words were, "Call me when you're ready to feel what a real man can do to you." FML

#18145171
318 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62418) - you deserved it (4622)

On 11/03/2011 at 3:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I ordered food at McDonald's. I'm on crutches, and a guy offered to carry my tray to the table. He rushed out with my food. FML

#18070361
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37094) - you deserved it (3183)

On 10/25/2011 at 4:17am - misc - by myownperson - United States (Colorado)



FML's blog

  • Gragrou's illustrated FML
  • One day, cats will rule the world, but not today, there's a bit of tin foil stuck under the couch. The Internet and cats is quite the love story, everybody knows that. A very serious study that was done…

Friday 26 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: