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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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0opsie

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0opsie
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1075
  • Number of comments : 302
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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0opsie's favorite FMLs

Today, I was worried about my brother because he said that his new medication was making him hallucinate. I told him he should see a doctor right away. He said it was fine and that he had already seen a doctor. I later found out the doctor he was talking about was a hallucination. FML

#19536164 (122)

I agree, your life sucks (6726) - you deserved it (650)

On 04/27/2012 at 4:22am - health - by PickedOff (woman) - United States

Today, I paid for someone else's pee so that I could pass my drug test. I didn't pass the drug test. FML

#19520767 (252)

I agree, your life sucks (1848) - you deserved it (15318)

On 04/24/2012 at 4:29am - work - by xharmonyx - United States

Today, my daughter sat me down for a long talk. It turns out that she thinks she is the Chosen One. FML

Today, I went to a concert. Being 6'5" was a great advantage because I could see the stage from wherever I was stood. On the downside, I was used by people as a meeting point. FML

#18447491 (119)

I agree, your life sucks (20764) - you deserved it (2445)

On 12/06/2011 at 8:01pm - misc - by jackgrant (man) - Iran Islamic Republic of

Today, at the point of orgasm, my boyfriend screamed out, "Is this all there is?!" then rolled over and stared blankly at the ceiling without speaking for ages. This happens a lot. FML

#18335372 (212)

I agree, your life sucks (26777) - you deserved it (4018)

On 11/24/2011 at 8:57am - intimacy - by Jane (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I ran into my boyfriend's dad. His exact words were, "Call me when you're ready to feel what a real man can do to you." FML

#18145171 (354)

I agree, your life sucks (47722) - you deserved it (2995)

On 11/03/2011 at 3:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I ordered food at McDonald's. I'm on crutches, and a guy offered to carry my tray to the table. He rushed out with my food. FML

#18070361 (174)

I agree, your life sucks (29331) - you deserved it (2185)

On 10/25/2011 at 4:17am - misc - by myownperson - United States (Colorado)

Today, while at my job as a hostess, I was seating a couple and their adorable little girl. I tried to ask how old she was, but what came out was, "Aww, what breed is she?" FML

#18039986 (200)

I agree, your life sucks (5305) - you deserved it (8469)

On 10/21/2011 at 5:27pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while I was in the shower, my older brother thought it would be funny to change the language on my phone to Serbo-Croatian. I don't know how and can't change it back. FML

#18014210 (141)

I agree, your life sucks (7313) - you deserved it (1274)

On 10/18/2011 at 9:25am - misc - by jaleesadavis21 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, while reading over my sent application email to a job I have been trying to get, I found out my brother had put "Heil Hitler!" as my signature. FML

#17996037 (202)

I agree, your life sucks (28391) - you deserved it (3436)

On 10/16/2011 at 3:15am - work - by Unemployed - United States (Oregon)

Today, I pulled into the gas station to fill up only to realize I had forgot my wallet. By the time I went home, got it, and came back, the price had gone up eleven cents. FML

#17969396 (128)

I agree, your life sucks (25299) - you deserved it (2920)

On 10/12/2011 at 6:47pm - money - by WhoopteeDooDoo (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I finally found the courage to tell my drug addict husband that I'm leaving him. He sat in his chair, denying using drugs, ever. Right after he said this, he passed out and spilled hot coffee on himself. He then denied spilling the coffee. As I was leaving, he took all of my shoes. FML

#17924214 (115)

I agree, your life sucks (23001) - you deserved it (2033)

On 10/06/2011 at 10:53pm - love - by stacyyvonne - United States (Florida)

Today, I logged on to Facebook to find that my boyfriend's relationship status had changed to in a relationship with his ex. I asked him about it, and all he said was, "I guess I forgot to break up with you." FML

#17880636 (123)

I agree, your life sucks (29210) - you deserved it (1600)

On 10/01/2011 at 7:03pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had a science test. A question asked, "What is the first stage of photosynthesis?" I didn't know, so just trying to be light-hearted, I wrote, "The plant must first believe in itself." My teacher didn't think it was funny, and gave me detention for insulting her intelligence. FML

#17804302 (198)

I agree, your life sucks (7653) - you deserved it (4496)

On 09/22/2011 at 12:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while paying for groceries, I opened my wallet to find that all my cash had been exchanged for Monopoly money. FML

#17598415 (120)

I agree, your life sucks (25564) - you deserved it (1852)

On 08/27/2011 at 8:38pm - money - by KayDayParade - United States



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