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0angela0's favorite FMLs
Today, I went to a concert with my girlfriend. Some guy grabbed her ass, and I tried to fight him. I ended up with a concussion and a messed up jaw. Her? Oh, she beat the shit out of him while I was unconscious. FML
by Anonymous / 01/01/2013 at 5:30am / United States (Kansas) / Health
by gassy / 12/29/2012 at 4:32am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, "The Phantom of the Opera" soundtrack blasted me awake at 4 am. Not knowing how it got on my iPod, I checked and found I had bought the whole $17.00 album in my sleep. This is the second time this month; the first time I downloaded the soundtrack from "The Wizard of Oz". FML
by hailey / 12/10/2012 at 12:10am / United States (Maryland) / Money
Today, while working as a massage therapist, a client had me work on a very specific knot in his shoulder. He also happened to have a very detailed, very realistic tattoo of the crucifixion on his shoulder. I just spent 45 minutes violating Jesus. FML
by Anonymous / 11/22/2012 at 1:50am / United States / Work
by Anonymous / 10/15/2012 at 9:19pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
by Steve / 06/13/2012 at 5:30pm / United States (Louisiana) / Intimacy
by Rosie / 06/13/2012 at 12:07pm / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend and I were making love. I've been working on a novel for the past six months, and what would have been mid-way through, I accidentally said the main character's name instead of my boyfriend's. FML
by oh lord / 05/27/2012 at 12:06pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, I went to the water park with my boyfriend. A swimsuit was required to go on the rides. My bikini straps somehow got torn off and I had nothing else with me. My boyfriend said, "Hell, just wear my spare shorts. You could pass as a guy with your chest". FML
by Anonymous / 05/18/2012 at 3:19pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love
by Anonymous / 05/05/2012 at 7:44am / United States / Health
by Optimus_Prime97 / 05/02/2012 at 10:39pm / United States / Money
by daddy-o / 03/14/2012 at 3:51am / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous
by jenni6488 / 02/22/2012 at 2:56am / United Kingdom (Gateshead) / Miscellaneous
Today, my mom was freaking out about me handling a CD-ROM with my bare hands. When I asked her what all the commotion was about, she said she was worried that I would catch "one of those computer viruses" she'd heard about on the news. FML
by aliezzedine / 02/02/2012 at 6:32am / Lebanon / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…
- Today, I was travelling in a car. As I was discreetly picking my nose, we drove over a speed bump.… Today, my university fridge is so small that the cucumber I bought doesn’t fit either lengthwise or… Today, after recently moving to Australia, I saw my first kangaroo. In the refrigerated section of…