About 08zw : Seeing the stories of other people's failures boosts my confidence. By the way, my picture was taken before I had my plastic surgery done.
08zw's FML badges
Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.
08zw's favorite FMLs
Today, one of my customers told me he was going to kill himself when I explained to him that I wasn't going to be able to deliver him the gallon of milk he wanted. I work in a pharmacy, dispensing medication. FML
by HeatherFeatherB / 01/04/2016 at 10:27pm / United States (Illinois) / Work
by Anonymous / 11/18/2015 at 6:40am / Austria (Wien) / Love
by Anonymousse / 11/13/2015 at 7:34am / United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff) / Miscellaneous
Today, at 8:00am, I walked into the kitchen and stubbed my toe. That's quite a normal occurrence, but this time, I stubbed it on my drunk, passed out, 53-year-old father's forehead. He's mad at me now and has cancelled my allowance. I'm 23. FML
by Anon / 09/28/2015 at 11:18pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
by Application / 07/28/2015 at 4:44pm / United States (Ohio) / Work
Today, while reading my girlfriend's kids a story, her daughter started pouring a tiny watering can on my head. When I asked her what she was doing, she said, "Watering your head so your hair grows back". I'm twenty-seven. FML
by Anonymous / 07/06/2015 at 10:21pm / United States / Kids
by kirstyrd / 08/12/2014 at 2:07am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
by mcmanager / 08/11/2014 at 10:18am / United States (California) / Work
Today, I tried fixing my dad's lawnmower after he said, "Girls can't change a lightbulb right, let alone fix a machine." An hour later, when I had the lawnmower running again, he bitched me out for trying to make him "look stupid." He's been sulking and acting pissy ever since. FML
by Anonymous / 07/23/2014 at 4:44pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by HowAreYouAlive / 07/09/2014 at 12:24am / United States (Virginia) / Work
by Anonymous / 07/01/2014 at 12:26am / United States (Tennessee) / Love
by iworkatofficedepothomes / 05/15/2014 at 8:02am / United States (California) / Work
Today, I nervously flirted with a very cute guy. Being a little overweight, I rarely think cute guys will go for me. This line of thinking was yet again correct when he casually pulled his sleeve up revealing a tattoo of a pinup girl with a "NO FAT CHICKS" sign below it. FML
by nofatchicks / 05/12/2014 at 7:49pm / United States (Florida) / Love
Today, my dad hit his mid-life crisis. When I came home and said hi, he told me to shut up, then went to the living room. He then lit up a cigarette and started muttering about having to put up with me, then went into a coughing fit, because he's never smoked before in his life. FML
by Cuntlette / 04/11/2014 at 12:38pm / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
Today, my co-worker started talking in third person. Not only that, but he narrates his daily tasks. "Jeff reached for a stapler", "Jeff stapled a report". I have to sit beside this chimp for 8 hours a day, and nothing I say can end this. FML
by war_monkey / 04/10/2014 at 8:20am / Canada (Ontario) / Work
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