Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

08zw

Offline (the 01/24/2016 at 8:23pm) | Search for a member

08zw

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 640
  • Number of comments : 31
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About 08zw : Seeing the stories of other people's failures boosts my confidence. By the way, my picture was taken before I had my plastic surgery done.

08zw's page activity

Visits<b>hatenewusernames</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 5:44am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 7:56pm<b>legendairy3000</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 2:57pm<b>Cdwoods</b> - the 11/27/2015 at 5:28pm<b>genjidawn</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 1:43pm<b>hilamonster06</b> - the 11/06/2015 at 1:26am<b>ilovemonkeybutts</b> - the 11/05/2015 at 10:35pm<b>Y0UI34574RD</b> - the 11/05/2015 at 9:31pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 11/05/2015 at 7:15pm<b>Ven0m</b> - the 11/05/2015 at 7:12pm<b>Tripartita</b> - the 11/05/2015 at 6:26pm<b>Neverafter</b> - the 11/05/2015 at 6:20pm<b>WingWalker</b> - the 11/05/2015 at 5:06pm<b>AssEater69</b> - the 11/05/2015 at 4:08pm<b>feebae</b> - the 11/05/2015 at 3:44pm<b>cutycat136</b> - the 11/05/2015 at 3:35pm<b>emeraldisle</b> - the 11/05/2015 at 3:03pm<b>e_is_for_eli</b> - the 11/05/2015 at 1:55pm

Fucked!<b>HowDareYou</b> - the 09/06/2015 at 7:43pm<b>xlord</b> - the 09/06/2015 at 5:35pm

08zw's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

See all of 08zw's badges

08zw's favorite FMLs

Today, one of my customers told me he was going to kill himself when I explained to him that I wasn't going to be able to deliver him the gallon of milk he wanted. I work in a pharmacy, dispensing medication. FML

#21511580
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19258) - you deserved it (1162)

On 01/04/2016 at 10:27pm - work - by HeatherFeatherB (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend canceled our date last-minute. He claimed he had no time because he had to iron his towels. FML

#21493926
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23957) - you deserved it (2115)

On 11/18/2015 at 6:40am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Austria (Wien)

Today, my roommate came home after a night of heavy drinking and started urinating on my bed. When I confronted him, he just slurred, "Sorry, thought it was my bed." FML

#21492006
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22232) - you deserved it (1469)

On 11/13/2015 at 7:34am - misc - by Anonymousse (man) - United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff)

Today, at 8:00am, I walked into the kitchen and stubbed my toe. That's quite a normal occurrence, but this time, I stubbed it on my drunk, passed out, 53-year-old father's forehead. He's mad at me now and has cancelled my allowance. I'm 23. FML

#21473991
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21706) - you deserved it (8588)

On 09/28/2015 at 11:18pm - misc - by Anon - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I asked my boss for a promotion. "You don't work here but I can give you a job application." I've been working here for 8 years. FML

#21448654
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26934) - you deserved it (1966)

On 07/28/2015 at 4:44pm - work - by Application - United States (Ohio)

Today, while reading my girlfriends kids a story, her daughter started pouring a tiny watering can on my head. When I asked her what she was doing, she said, "Watering your head so your hair grows back". I'm twenty-seven. FML

#21437640
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25422) - you deserved it (2258)

On 07/06/2015 at 10:21pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, was the first day my grandma has seen me since I started going to tanning beds. She is now considering taking me out of her will because I look like "a damn Indian". FML

#21235555
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27825) - you deserved it (34814)

On 08/12/2014 at 2:07am - misc - by kirstyrd - United States (Michigan)

Today, at my job as a fast food manager, I saw one of my employees "trying to pick the bugs out" of our cookies. They were the raisins in them. FML

#21234756
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37971) - you deserved it (3458)

On 08/11/2014 at 10:18am - work - by mcmanager - United States (California)

Today, I tried fixing my dad's lawnmower after he said, "Girls can't change a lightbulb right, let alone fix a machine." An hour later, when I had the lawnmower running again, he bitched me out for trying to make him "look stupid." He's been sulking and acting pissy ever since. FML

#21218479
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55793) - you deserved it (4921)

On 07/23/2014 at 4:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my coworker called in to say that he couldn't make it to work today because he was in a coma and asked if I could cover his shift. This isn't the first time he's tried to use this excuse. FML

#21203542
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45996) - you deserved it (3767)

On 07/09/2014 at 12:24am - work - by HowAreYouAlive - United States (Virginia)

Today, after losing his job, I reassured my boyfriend by telling him I'd rather be with him living in a cardboard box than to be without him. He responded by telling me he'd rather be dead. FML

#21194528
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45789) - you deserved it (5886)

On 07/01/2014 at 12:26am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, a customer came into our store and asked if we sold "child sized coffins". This isn't even the weirdest question I've been asked. FML

#21140459
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42338) - you deserved it (4519)

On 05/15/2014 at 8:02am - work - by iworkatofficedepothomes (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I nervously flirted with a very cute guy. Being a little overweight, I rarely think cute guys will go for me. This line of thinking was yet again correct when he casually pulled his sleeve up revealing a tattoo of a pinup girl with a "NO FAT CHICKS" sign below it. FML

#21138042
350 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59771) - you deserved it (7585)

On 05/12/2014 at 7:49pm - love - by nofatchicks (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my dad hit his mid-life crisis. When I came home and said hi, he told me to shut up, then went to the living room. He then lit up a cigarette and started muttering about having to put up with me, then went into a coughing fit, because he's never smoked before in his life. FML

#21110266
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43721) - you deserved it (3237)

On 04/11/2014 at 12:38pm - misc - by Cuntlette (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my co-worker started talking in third person. Not only that, but he narrates his daily tasks. "Jeff reached for a stapler", "Jeff stapled a report". I have to sit beside this chimp for 8 hours a day, and nothing I say can end this. FML



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: