This member hasn't filled in the description.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
I never take things to heart
Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.
A new Thumb
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
Today, while I was walking downtown a homeless person asked me for a dollar. I thought it would be funny to wave the dollar in his face and taunt him. I guess he thought it would be funny to stab me in the leg with a pencil. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14807) - you deserved it (354660)
On 08/06/2009 at 9:35am - misc - by who_could_it_be - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was wearing a skirt, and running towards a closing elevator, making it just in time. As soon as I ran in, my pad fell out of my underwear and onto the floor. There were 6 other people in the elevator. I picked it up before I realized I had nowhere to put it, so I held it. For 18 floors. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51539) - you deserved it (7138)
On 08/01/2009 at 4:15am - misc - by Alice (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was going to surprise my boyfriend at his family birthday celebration with a $2,000 trip he's always wanted, Ireland. Right before my gift, he had opened his mother's gift, an envelope containing a plane ticket. Guess where it was going? FML
I agree, your life sucks (38004) - you deserved it (3296)
On 07/22/2009 at 4:11am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I set up a camera in my kitchen to see who was stealing my cookies. Turns out my mom had her boyfriend over. Good news, the cookies are safe. Bad news, I now have something recorded that I never wanted to see in my life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34766) - you deserved it (9956)
On 07/21/2009 at 10:55am - misc - by Pimp-Daddy (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, as I was bent over at my waitressing job an elderly woman walked by and smacked my ass. I looked at her, shocked, and she said, "It was too tempting with you bent over like that, I have a dirty old mind." I didn't know whether to be flattered or horrified. Maybe both. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37803) - you deserved it (4603)
On 07/11/2009 at 5:10am - work - by grannysmack (woman) - United States (Iowa)
Today, I was driving home from my friend's house and noticed this really cute girl riding her bike. She had an amazing body, beautiful blonde hair and looked like my kind of girl! About 10 minutes after I got home, my sister pulled up. She had just biked home from the hair salon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35708) - you deserved it (20417)
On 07/10/2009 at 11:41pm - misc - by roar_shark - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was walking to work and saw three guys sitting at a table outside. One of the guys looks at me and says to his friends, "That's the girl that works at the grocery store. She replaced the hot chick." The other two guys glared at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35219) - you deserved it (2216)
On 06/19/2009 at 12:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I facebooked my friends about my upcoming birthday party, and told them to keep the date free. I got several responses telling me that's not possible, because that's the day the new Harry Potter movie comes out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34657) - you deserved it (21070)
On 06/16/2009 at 7:10am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man sleeping on a bench. I thought it would be funny to throw a small rock at him. He thought it would be funny to pull out his knife and chase me for six blocks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38795) - you deserved it (570901)
On 06/11/2009 at 12:06pm - misc - by I_Am_The_Edge (man) - United States (California)
Today, I woke up hungover and thirsty, I found a glass of water next to the sink, filled it up with more water, chugged it and went back to bed. I woke up an hour later to my best friend telling me she thought she lost her contacts. They were in a glass next to the sink. I ate her contacts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25068) - you deserved it (28793)
Today, I was playing around with my sister's kitten. As a joke, I put him underneath the sheets and farted. He attacked my nuts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30590) - you deserved it (271364)
On 06/07/2009 at 11:53am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I went to the laundromat. I put a load in the dryer and walked away to check on my other load. When I came back, I saw a homeless man putting his dirty, wet underwear in the dryer with my clean clothes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44084) - you deserved it (3063)
On 05/24/2009 at 5:49pm - misc - by beep_guacamole (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I saw my mom naked as she came out of the shower. I realized that's the first time I've ever seen a naked woman. I'm a 24 year old guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55882) - you deserved it (9423)
On 05/24/2009 at 1:18am - misc - by Imretarded (man) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I was walking in Walmart and this cute guy walked by me and winked. I thought he wanted to talk so I followed him around the store trying to catch up. Turns out it wasn't a wink, he had something in his eye. And he told the security person that a weird girl was stalking him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8443) - you deserved it (34420)
On 05/21/2009 at 7:46pm - misc - by liz (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, while driving home I had to pee really bad. I decided to speed to get home quicker. I got pulled over for speeding and peed my pants. The cop, assuming I was drunk, made me take a sobriety test. I had to walk a straight line with piss all over my pants at 2:00 in the afternoon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49035) - you deserved it (8226)
On 05/06/2009 at 3:11pm - misc - by jojo (woman) - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
