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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
I never take things to heart
Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.
A new Thumb
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
Today, after my boyfriend and I had gotten frisky last night, I found a note on the front door of my building that read, "Dear girl in apartment 3D, from now on please close the blinds all the way or lose 30 pounds. Either would be acceptable." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22103) - you deserved it (11909)
On 08/10/2012 at 1:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Europe
Today, I looked over at the car parked next to me and noticed a very large woman plucking her mustache. She locked eyes with me and kept plucking. After that, every time I looked over, she was still staring. Staring and plucking. Now when I close my eyes, I can still see her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16708) - you deserved it (1981)
On 08/10/2012 at 12:40am - misc - by banana2894 - United States (Oregon)
Today, in the middle of sex, my boyfriend asked me what he should get his mother for her birthday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19591) - you deserved it (2243)
On 08/09/2012 at 4:16pm - intimacy - by Badkitty14 - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was at the mall, when a guy started screaming at his buddy for sleeping with his sister. It was pretty hilarious, so when he stormed off, I mockingly yelled, "Pussy!" He then whirled around and beat the absolute hell out of his friend. Now I feel like I'm going to reincarnate as a turd. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4470) - you deserved it (32289)
On 08/09/2012 at 3:51pm - misc - by feelsterrible (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, some guy asked me if he could borrow my lighter. I said "of course," reached into my handbag, and gave him the lighter. He stared at me for a few seconds until I realised I'd given him a tampax. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17735) - you deserved it (4122)
On 08/09/2012 at 2:10pm - misc - by mary - United Kingdom
Today, as I was cashing a customer out, he stopped me in the middle of the transaction just to tell me that the condoms he was buying are too big for him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16430) - you deserved it (1497)
On 08/09/2012 at 2:44am - intimacy - by rxcrs3 - United States
Today, my wife yelled at me for admitting I take my wedding ring off at work. I explained that I work in a chemistry lab and don't want to damage it. She laughed and said, "Oh please, that chemistry stuff is nonsense anyway." All while reading her horoscope. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22093) - you deserved it (2536)
On 08/08/2012 at 7:03pm - love - by Dumbfounded - United States (Texas)
Today, I posted a Facebook status on how I hated the new Batman movie. I'm now single, and have received multiple threats. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14633) - you deserved it (35859)
On 08/08/2012 at 4:39pm - misc - by Deaththreat101 (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, it's my girlfriend's birthday. To celebrate, I spent the day with her and then took her out to a really nice dinner. She is currently giving me the silent treatment because I didn't write "happy birthday" on her Facebook wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28721) - you deserved it (421)
On 08/08/2012 at 1:15pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, out of habit, after scratching my balls, I then smelt my hand. It was at that moment I realized most of my gym was staring at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4316) - you deserved it (30560)
On 08/08/2012 at 10:00am - misc - by FutureMarine3658 - United States (Utah)
Today, while doing my job as a cart clerk, a gentleman went around the parking lot and picked some trash up, trying to help out. Faith in humanity: +1. About an hour later I saw a woman pick a bug off of her windshield and eat it. Faith in humanity: -200. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16672) - you deserved it (1453)
On 08/08/2012 at 7:23am - work - by TJ (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was bagging my groceries when I accidentally smacked myself in the face with a box of popsicles, giving myself a nose bleed. I found out that the cashier hates the sight of blood when she passed out behind the register. They called security on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16810) - you deserved it (1187)
On 08/07/2012 at 11:15pm - health - by MellyBee - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I came out to my parents. I don't really fit any stereotype, I'm just an average guy who happens to be into guys. Ten minutes later, I overheard my mother say to my step-dad, "Should we redecorate his room pink?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (21371) - you deserved it (4928)
On 08/07/2012 at 8:11pm - misc - by ohai95 (man) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)
Today, while at work, I used the restroom. After I noticed we were out of paper towels, I just tried shaking my hands dry. I then readjusted my bra, since it'd been driving me crazy all day. After getting back to my cubicle, I realized that I had two wet handprints over my boobs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12185) - you deserved it (7672)
On 08/07/2012 at 3:17pm - work - by Employee (woman) - United States (Nebraska)
Today, I visited my mother's new apartment, and found a picture of yours truly hanging above her toilet, and I asked why it was there. She shrugged and said, "Because the thought of you makes me want to take a shit?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (14128) - you deserved it (1285)
On 08/07/2012 at 2:04pm - misc - by Alisha - United States (Virginia)
Monday 20 May 2013
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