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007type's FML badges
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
I never take things to heart
Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.
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007type's favorite FMLs
Today, I had to go to my daughter's school because she hasn't been going to class. Her teacher seemed surprised to see me with my husband when we arrived. Apparently I "died" recently and my daughter has had extra responsibility around the house, hence why she doesn't come to class. FML
by Shauna / 11/08/2012 at 6:09am / United States / Kids
by Anonymous / 11/08/2012 at 12:49am / United States (California) / Love
Today, while I was sitting on the toilet, my toddler swung the door open. We just bought the house, and we have no curtains. Our new neighbor, who I haven't met, was mowing her yard. I stood half-naked to close the door, and our eyes met. I froze. She waved. FML
by ohcrap / 11/07/2012 at 8:41pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by pheebs314 / 11/07/2012 at 4:16pm / United States (Washington) / Health
Today, my best friend told me that I wasn't invited to her wedding, saying that I was too pretty and that I would outshine her at the ceremony. I laughed and said that she was being ridiculous. She eventually confessed the real reason why I wasn't invited: apparently I'm an annoying bitch. FML
by no cake for me / 11/07/2012 at 2:31am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, a woman on the train demanded I give up my seat for her, claiming it was for people with disabilities. Tired from a long day at work, and seeing she had nothing wrong with her, I asked what her disability was. Apparently, obesity is one. FML
by NotAnExcuse / 11/07/2012 at 12:58am / United States / Transportation
by Anonymous / 11/06/2012 at 1:29pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work
Today, my friends and I held an intervention for my fiancé. He's been talking and behaving like an "old-timey cowboy" non-stop for the last three months. Our wedding is in a month and he refuses to marry me if I can't accept his "life choices." FML
by cowgirl / 11/06/2012 at 12:42am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by Ugggggggggg / 11/06/2012 at 12:11am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
by Spoilicious / 11/05/2012 at 10:58am / Singapore / Miscellaneous
Today, I was eating a fancy dinner with my girlfriend at a restaurant. Suddenly, my ex-girlfriend, who was seemingly still angry after our breakup 2 years ago, saw me through the window. She walked in, took my spaghetti dinner, shoved it in my face, and stormed out. FML
by sad / 11/05/2012 at 2:02am / United States (Washington) / Love
by Tj Hunt / 11/04/2012 at 10:26pm / United States / Love
Today, while I was cleaning out my son's room, I came across his diary. Opening it out of curiosity, I found ramblings about how blacks, Jews, and other "inferior breeds" should be forcibly sterilized "for the common good." FML
by Ugh / 11/04/2012 at 9:08pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I woke up with a vague memory of buying something last night while drunk. According to my credit card summary I made a $270 purchase from a home shopping channel. I guess in 5-7 days I'll find out what it was. FML
by fnfantastic / 11/04/2012 at 11:37am / United States (Indiana) / Money
by cassiebee / 11/04/2012 at 9:16am / United States (Utah) / Work
- Today, I finally had the best sex I've ever had with this really hot guy I've been hanging out with… Today, my boyfriend came over so that we could have some "fun". It turns out, his idea of foreplay… Today, while in bed with my boyfriend of 2 years, he mentioned what it would be like if he had sex…