007type

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Offline (the 01/24/2016 at 7:51pm)

007type

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 25 March 1989 (27 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 11975
  • Number of comments : 136
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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007type's page activity

Visits<b>Maxwellminpin</b> - the 06/29/2016 at 10:45pm<b>TCKM416</b> - the 06/18/2016 at 9:32am<b>walker9879</b> - the 06/17/2016 at 1:19pm<b>Hamden824</b> - the 06/13/2016 at 3:39pm<b>LordlyFountain0</b> - the 05/16/2016 at 10:12pm<b>janifinnerty619</b> - the 05/11/2016 at 2:06pm<b>frankmz</b> - the 05/03/2016 at 10:21pm<b>mattzawesome</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 4:29pm<b>SleepyPharma</b> - the 04/18/2016 at 3:59am<b>Jiratias</b> - the 04/09/2016 at 6:53pm<b>Rockinroyaltyx3</b> - the 03/28/2016 at 8:14pm<b>kev1316</b> - the 03/27/2016 at 1:21pm<b>Rammer3500</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 11:44pm<b>marud</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 9:19am<b>failalltheway</b> - the 01/13/2016 at 11:20pm<b>Hilda_x</b> - the 12/20/2015 at 8:04am<b>juliaseizure</b> - the 12/05/2015 at 7:14pm<b>MidnaLink</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 5:04pm

Fucked!<b>TCKM416</b> - the 06/18/2016 at 3:34pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 2:00pm

007type's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

I never take things to heart

Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

See all of 007type's badges

007type's favorite FMLs

Today, while on my morning jog, I turned a corner, and out of nowhere, the business end of a bicycle hit me straight in the nuts. As I collapsed, gasping in agony, the guy who just killed a hundred million of my potential children got back on his bike and cycled away without a word. FML

by Anonymous / 08/12/2012 at 7:08pm / United States (New Jersey) / Health

Today, I realized that if I died tomorrow, the only photos available for my funeral would be crappy family Christmas portraits, acne-filled yearbook photos, and several pictures from my MySpace days, where I'm sporting coontails and looking paler than Edward Cullen's ass. FML

by kherien / 08/12/2012 at 1:31pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at a concert. It was dark and everyone was singing and waving their lit-up phones in the air. I was having a great time, until someone snatched my £200 phone out of my hand. FML

by Anonymous / 08/12/2012 at 7:03am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found the perfect opportunity to throw my husband a surprise party since he thought I was away on a business trip. He came home with a hooker. Surprise! FML

by happybirthday / 08/12/2012 at 1:49am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, I was digging in my lawn, trying to ignore the suspicious glances coming from my nosy fuckball of a neighbor. When he asked what I was doing, I replied with dripping sarcasm, that I was digging up the schoolkids I killed last year. Fifteen minutes later, the cops he called arrived. FML

by diggingaplotforone / 08/11/2012 at 7:47pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a chat with my husband, and I convinced him to try being more spontaneous to spice up our sex life. This evening, he burst into our bedroom with an eyepatch on, and "seductively" growled, "I'm gonna slay your pussy, wench." FML

by Anonymous / 08/11/2012 at 6:22pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, at work, I was forced to nod and smile as a pregnant, fifteen-year-old, brain-dead Jersey Shore wannabe cussed me out for being rude by using words from a "foreign language" during our conversation. I used the word "pretentious." FML

by mikeissad / 08/11/2012 at 3:37pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, I was debating with my now ex-boyfriend over the ethics of using torture in interrogations of suspected criminals. It took just ten minutes before he freely admitted that he'd have no problem "torturing the shit" out of me if he even suspected I was seeing another man. FML

by what the actual fuck / 08/11/2012 at 12:38pm / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, I was on the bus when I felt a big yawn coming on, one so big that my mouth stretched and my eyes closed. It was at this point that the strange man beside me decided to lean over at lightning speed and put his tongue in my mouth. Technically it was my first kiss. I'm 21 years old. FML

by Anonymous / 08/11/2012 at 6:33am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend cutely climbed through my bedroom window for some sexy time. He decided he'd introduce bondage. As I was tied to the bed, completely naked, we heard the front door open. He got scared and left via the window, leaving me handcuffed to my bed. FML

by dafuqdidihear / 08/11/2012 at 2:53am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my girlfriend, who I've loved and dated for over a year, confessed that she's actually straight as an arrow. All this time, she's basically been using me as an accessory to enhance her "social status" and make her guy friends horny. FML

by Anonymous / 08/10/2012 at 6:06pm / Thailand (Krung Thep) / Love

Today, I went to an amusement park with a group of friends, one of whom was a girl I really like. When we got on the roller coaster, I was ecstatic that she wanted to sit next to me. Not even half-way through, I ended up puking all over the both of us. FML

by Darth Vomitus / 08/10/2012 at 2:54pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Love

Today, I finished my first two weeks as an ice cream truck driver. Now I can't get that annoying ice cream truck music out of my head. It's even in my dreams. FML

by ice cream dude / 08/10/2012 at 9:58am / United States (Colorado) / Work

Today, after my boyfriend and I had gotten frisky last night, I found a note on the front door of my building that read, "Dear girl in apartment 3D, from now on please close the blinds all the way or lose 30 pounds. Either would be acceptable." FML

by Anonymous / 08/10/2012 at 1:29am / Europe / Intimacy

Today, I looked over at the car parked next to me and noticed a very large woman plucking her mustache. She locked eyes with me and kept plucking. After that, every time I looked over, she was still staring. Staring and plucking. Now when I close my eyes, I can still see her. FML

by banana2894 / 08/10/2012 at 12:40am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous