Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

007type

Offline (the 09/02/2014 at 4:42am) | Search for a member

007type

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 25 March 1989 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 6747
  • Number of comments : 136
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

007type's page activity

Visits<b>Rhett_15</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 10:37pm<b>senor_octubre</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 4:26pm<b>vanessa_tranz</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 11:47am<b>alexishbu</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 3:23pm<b>redflamer</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 11:20pm<b>gunner_12</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 3:43pm<b>jillyanzen</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 12:32pm<b>valipali</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 11:56am<b>blcusername</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 10:39pm<b>Mikenator23</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 3:01pm<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 2:06pm<b>Googolman</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 4:09pm<b>EllieMay42</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 9:05am<b>insomniacdreamer</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 7:37pm<b>JaykeXD</b> - the 03/03/2014 at 5:01am<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 02/24/2014 at 2:41pm<b>andreayoung</b> - the 02/22/2014 at 6:43am<b>jellenwood</b> - the 02/15/2014 at 12:12am

007type's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

I never take things to heart

Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

See all of 007type's badges

007type's favorite FMLs

Today, while out at dinner with my boyfriend, I accidentally ripped out my tampon picking a wedgie. FML

#20017935
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16366) - you deserved it (15369)

On 08/13/2012 at 12:45am - misc - by brooke - United States

Today, while on my morning jog, I turned a corner, and out of nowhere, the business end of a bicycle hit me straight in the nuts. As I collapsed, gasping in agony, the guy who just killed a hundred million of my potential children got back on his bike and cycled away without a word. FML

#20017341
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23030) - you deserved it (1918)

On 08/12/2012 at 7:08pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I realized that if I died tomorrow, the only photos available for my funeral would be crappy family Christmas portraits, acne-filled yearbook photos, and several pictures from my MySpace days, where I'm sporting coontails and looking paler than Edward Cullen's ass. FML

#20016902
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17398) - you deserved it (7231)

On 08/12/2012 at 1:31pm - misc - by kherien (woman) - United States

Today, I was at a concert. It was dark and everyone was singing and waving their lit-up phones in the air. I was having a great time, until someone snatched my £200 phone out of my hand. FML

#20016571
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18828) - you deserved it (10261)

On 08/12/2012 at 7:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I found the perfect opportunity to throw my husband a surprise party since he thought I was away on a business trip. He came home with a hooker. Surprise! FML

#20016279
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46847) - you deserved it (3060)

On 08/12/2012 at 1:49am - intimacy - by happybirthday - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was digging in my lawn, trying to ignore the suspicious glances coming from my nosy fuckball of a neighbor. When he asked what I was doing, I replied with dripping sarcasm, that I was digging up the schoolkids I killed last year. Fifteen minutes later, the cops he called arrived. FML

#20015702
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31153) - you deserved it (8580)

On 08/11/2012 at 7:47pm - misc - by diggingaplotforone - United States (California)

Today, I had a chat with my husband, and I convinced him to try being more spontaneous to spice up our sex life. This evening, he burst into our bedroom with an eyepatch on, and "seductively" growled, "I'm gonna slay your pussy, wench." FML

#20015589
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14819) - you deserved it (38520)

On 08/11/2012 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, at work, I was forced to nod and smile as a pregnant, fifteen-year-old, brain-dead Jersey Shore wannabe cussed me out for being rude by using words from a "foreign language" during our conversation. I used the word "pretentious." FML

#20015372
314 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34242) - you deserved it (2119)

On 08/11/2012 at 3:37pm - work - by mikeissad (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was debating with my now ex-boyfriend over the ethics of using torture in interrogations of suspected criminals. It took just ten minutes before he freely admitted that he'd have no problem "torturing the shit" out of me if he even suspected I was seeing another man. FML

#20015148
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20527) - you deserved it (3485)

On 08/11/2012 at 12:38pm - love - by what the actual fuck (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was on the bus when I felt a big yawn coming on, one so big that my mouth stretched and my eyes closed. It was at this point that the strange man beside me decided to lean over at lightning speed and put his tongue in my mouth. Technically it was my first kiss. I'm 21 years old. FML

#20014909
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41787) - you deserved it (4797)

On 08/11/2012 at 6:33am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my boyfriend cutely climbed through my bedroom window for some sexy time. He decided he'd introduce bondage. As I was tied to the bed, completely naked, we heard the front door open. He got scared and left via the window, leaving me handcuffed to my bed. FML

Today, my girlfriend, who I've loved and dated for over a year, confessed that she's actually straight as an arrow. All this time, she's basically been using me as an accessory to enhance her "social status" and make her guy friends horny. FML

#20013891
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35344) - you deserved it (4404)

On 08/10/2012 at 6:06pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Thailand (Krung Thep)

Today, I went to an amusement park with a group of friends, one of whom was a girl I really like. When we got on the roller coaster, I was ecstatic that she wanted to sit next to me. Not even half-way through, I ended up puking all over the both of us. FML

#20013635
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21428) - you deserved it (4946)

On 08/10/2012 at 2:54pm - love - by Darth Vomitus (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I finished my first two weeks as an ice cream truck driver. Now I can't get that annoying ice cream truck music out of my head. It's even in my dreams. FML

#20013286
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22504) - you deserved it (3859)

On 08/10/2012 at 9:58am - work - by ice cream dude - United States (Colorado)

Today, after my boyfriend and I had gotten frisky last night, I found a note on the front door of my building that read, "Dear girl in apartment 3D, from now on please close the blinds all the way or lose 30 pounds. Either would be acceptable." FML

#20012782
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29799) - you deserved it (16413)

On 08/10/2012 at 1:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Europe



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: