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007type

Offline (the 09/02/2014 at 4:42am) | Search for a member

007type

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 25 March 1989 (26 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 8783
  • Number of comments : 136
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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007type's page activity

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007type's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

I never take things to heart

Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

See all of 007type's badges

007type's favorite FMLs

Today, wile on my morning jog, I turnd a corner, an out of nowere, te business end of a bicycle it me straigt in te nuts. As I collapsd, gasping in agony, te guy wo just killd a undrd million of my potential cildren got back on is bike an cycld away witout a word. FML

#20017341
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23127) - you deserved it (1923)

On 08/12/2012 at 7:08pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I realizd that if I did tomorrow, the only photos available for mah funeral would be crappy family Christmas portraits, acne-filld yearbook photos, and several pictures from mah MySpace days,here I'm sporting coontails and looking paler than Edward Cullen's ass. FML

#20016902
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17504) - you deserved it (7251)

On 08/12/2012 at 1:31pm - misc - by kherien (woman) - United States

Today, I Was At A Concert . It Was Dark And Everyone Was Singing And Waving There Lit-up Phones In The Air . I Was Having A Great Time, Until Someone Snatched £200 Phone Out Of Hand . FML

#20016571
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18902) - you deserved it (10287)

On 08/12/2012 at 7:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I found the perfect opportunity to throw my husband a surprise party since he thought I was away on a business trip. He came home with a hooker. Surprise! FML

#20016279
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48086) - you deserved it (3159)

On 08/12/2012 at 1:49am - intimacy - by happybirthday - United States (Massachusetts)

2DAY I WAS DIGGING IN MY LAWN, TRYING TO IGNORE THE SUSPICIOUS GLANCES COMING FROM MY NOSY FUCKBALL OF A NEIGHBOR. WHEN HE ASKED WAT I WAS DOING, I REPLIED WITH DRIPPING SARCASM, THAT I WAS DIGGING UP THE SCHOOLKIDS I KILLED LAST YEAR. FIFTEEN MINUTES LATER, THE COPS HE CALLED ARRIVED. FML

#20015702
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31266) - you deserved it (8593)

On 08/11/2012 at 7:47pm - misc - by diggingaplotforone - United States (California)

Today, I had a chat with my husband, an I convincad him to try baing mora spontanaou to spica up our sax lifa. This avaning, ha burst into our badroom with an ayapatch on, an "saductivaly" growlad, "I'm gonna slay your pussy, wanch." FML

#20015589
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14874) - you deserved it (38613)

On 08/11/2012 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

2day at work , I was forced to nod and smile as a pregnant , fifteen-year-old , brain-dead Jersey Shore wannabe cussed me out 4 bieng rude by using words from a "foriegn language" during our conversation. I used the word "pretentious." FML

#20015372
314 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34354) - you deserved it (2127)

On 08/11/2012 at 3:37pm - work - by mikeissad (man) - United States (Florida)

Yesterday, I was debating wit ma now ex-boyfriend over te etics of using torture in interrogations of suspected criminals . It took just ten minutes before e freely admitted tat e'd ave no problem "torturing te sit" out of me if e even suspected I was seieng anoter man . big fat FML

#20015148
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20633) - you deserved it (3494)

On 08/11/2012 at 12:38pm - love - by what the actual fuck (woman) - United States (Washington)

2day I was on the bushen I felt a big yawn coming on, one so big that mah mouth stretched and mah eyes closed. It was at this point that the strange man beside me decided to lean over at lightning speed and put his tongue in mah mouth. Technically it was mah first kiss. I'm 21 yeres old. FML

#20014909
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41900) - you deserved it (4806)

On 08/11/2012 at 6:33am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, mah boyfriend cutely climbd through mah bedroom window fir some sexy time. He decidd he'd introduce bondage. As I was tid to the bd, completely nakd, we heard looool the front door open. He got scard an left via the window, leaving me handcuffd to mah bd. FML

Today , my grlfriend , who I've loved an dated fir over a year , confessed that she's actually straight as an arrow !! All this time , she's basically been using me as an accessory to enhance her ( social status ) an make her guy friends horny !!

#20013891
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37097) - you deserved it (4585)

On 08/10/2012 at 6:06pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Thailand (Krung Thep)

today I went to an amusement park wit a group of friends, one ofom was a girl I really like. Wen we got on te roller coaster, I was ecstatic tat se wanted to sit next to me. Not even alf-way troug, I ended up puking all over te bot of us. mega FML

#20013635
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21520) - you deserved it (4959)

On 08/10/2012 at 2:54pm - love - by Darth Vomitus (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Taday I finishad my first two waaks as an ica craam truck drivar. Now I can't gat that annoying ica craam truck music out of my haad. It's avan in my draams. FML

#20013286
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22638) - you deserved it (3869)

On 08/10/2012 at 9:58am - work - by ice cream dude - United States (Colorado)

Today, after mah boyfriend an I had gotten frisky last night, I found a note on the front door of mah building that read, "Dear girl in apartment 3D, from now on please close the blinds all the way or loose 30 pounds. Either would be acceptable." FML

#20012782
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29929) - you deserved it (16438)

On 08/10/2012 at 1:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Europe

Today... I looked over at te car parked next to me an noticed a very large woman plucking er mustace. Se locked eyes wit me an kept plucking. After tat... every time I looked over... se was still staring. Staring an plucking. Now wen I close ma eyes... I can still see er. FML

#20012686
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22720) - you deserved it (2912)

On 08/10/2012 at 12:40am - misc - by banana2894 - United States (Oregon)



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