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007type's FML badges
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
I never take things to heart
Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.
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007type's favorite FMLs
by SquishFish / 08/17/2012 at 12:08am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
Today, I was enjoying a romantic cuddle on the couch with my boyfriend, when he suddenly decided to lift up my shirt, stick his face into my boobs, and go all Darth Vader on me. This included heavy breathing and phrases such as, "Amber... I am your boyfriend." FML
by Amberain / 08/16/2012 at 11:16am / United Kingdom (Halton) / Love
Today, I worked overtime with three guys who never shut up about partying and getting laid. When I finally escaped the testosterone and got home, the first thing I heard was my grandpa telling my dad all about how he once fisted a girl to orgasm. FML
by what the FUCK / 08/15/2012 at 6:52pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
by theflow / 08/15/2012 at 1:08pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Health
by Anonymous / 08/15/2012 at 7:40am / United Kingdom (Kent) / Intimacy
Today, I witnessed my girlfriend and best "friend" getting intimate. In a dim-witted attempt to cover up, my best friend proclaimed, "This isn't what it looks like!" I might have given him the benefit of the doubt, had he not still been inside my girlfriend at the time. FML
by Anonymous / 08/15/2012 at 12:04am / Australia / Intimacy
Today, it's garbage day. My mom accidentally threw away a receipt she needed to return something and told me to go get it. While I was looking for it, a cop gave me hell for "stealing recyclables on private property." This all happened in my front lawn. FML
by Anonymous / 08/14/2012 at 2:12pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was out drinking with some friends in a Safeway parking lot, when I saw a familiar-looking vehicle pull up beside us. It was my dad, who angrily got out and demanded that I come home. I'm twenty-four, and now the laughing stock of my social circle. FML
by luvonsarah / 08/14/2012 at 1:27pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
Today, after much deliberation, I decided to accept my parents' invitation to a family dinner. A half hour after I arrived, all hell broke loose, because my mom's pregnancy test had come back positive, and she was convinced my dad had poked holes in his own condom. FML
by Anonymous / 08/14/2012 at 11:42am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/14/2012 at 1:16am / United States (Nebraska) / Intimacy
Today, it was my wedding day. Midway through the ceremony, my grandma, who's tried to ruin every relationship to date, stood up and shouted that "it ain't right", "you're too good for her", and claimed my fiancée has been cheating on me, before she was finally ejected from the building. FML
by impickingyourhomegran / 08/13/2012 at 6:12pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Love
Today, my mom threw my tampons in the garbage and said that from now on, I'll be buying pads instead. Turns out she read a scare story going around by email that all the local teens are soaking their tampons in alcohol and inserting them anally to secretly get drunk. FML
by jannister / 08/13/2012 at 3:25pm / Germany (Thuringen) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was fooling around on Omegle, when I came across a guy who claimed he could suck himself off. I was doubtful, but morbidly curious, so I told him to prove it. Turns out he could. Before I could close the browser window in horror, my dad walked in and got a good look too. FML
by didntevenknow / 08/13/2012 at 11:06am / Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur) / Intimacy
by hmmmm / 08/13/2012 at 8:19am / Australia / Intimacy
by brooke / 08/13/2012 at 12:45am / United States / Miscellaneous