Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today my girlfriend of a month told me that the only thing keeping her from swallowing a bottle of pills is being in a relationship with me, because she doesn't handle breakups well. FML

Today, I was told by my boyfriend's parents to never come back to his house again, and was given a lecture about rule breaking. Apparently, curfew is midnight, and he isn't allowed to have girls over. This didn't sound so unreasonable until I remembered that we're both almost 30. FML

Today, I caught my dad sneaking a drink of whiskey outside, shortly before my wedding. I asked if he was seriously getting drunk at a time like this. He looked at me and scoffed, "It's the only way I'm gonna get through this stupid shit." FML

#21381329
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31466) - you deserved it (4085)

On 03/25/2015 at 3:40pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, it's been three months since my sister broke her car, meaning she couldn't get to work, and I've giving her money every month so she could buy food and so on. I just found out that her workplace is less than 200 metres from where she lives. FML

#21381106
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28379) - you deserved it (4342)

On 03/25/2015 at 1:42am - love - by Julie - Denmark (Midtjylland)

Today, I arrived at work to find out someone had signed me up to a dating site. Apparently, my inability to speak to women has reached "boss level". Quite literally, as my boss was the one who signed me up. FML

#21380719
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27018) - you deserved it (2931)

On 03/24/2015 at 1:09pm - love - by ctmoto77 - United States (California)

Today, my younger sister stopped talking to me. I got engaged to my boyfriend of 4 years and apparently, she's been in love with him since she met him. Through me. She's 12. FML

#21380050
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34636) - you deserved it (2501)

On 03/23/2015 at 10:24am - love - by twelvie - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I overheard my dickhead dad telling my girlfriend she's too good for me, then asking if she wants to settle for someone like me. FML

#21378798
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27965) - you deserved it (2197)

On 03/21/2015 at 4:55am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Aberdeen City)

Today, I was wearing a new tank top that was really cute. I later was talking to an attractive guy and thought he was giggling at me because he thought I was being cute and funny. I then realized he was giggling at the fact that I only shaved one armpit. FML

#21378703
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27726) - you deserved it (9349)

On 03/21/2015 at 12:25am - love - by rayraydayday - United States (Colorado)

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend because I felt unappreciated. She found it appropriate to sarcastically say, "Oh no, how will I ever be able to open my jars?" FML

#21378617
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31123) - you deserved it (4474)

On 03/20/2015 at 9:32pm - love - by tumbleshay - United States (Oregon)

Today, I took my girlfriend to meet my parents. My dad thought it'd be hilarious to act surprised and ask me if I'd already dumped the girlfriend I introduced him to yesterday. She slapped me and stormed out of the house before my dad could tell her it was a joke. FML

#21378402
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32100) - you deserved it (2163)

On 03/20/2015 at 1:50pm - love - by not picking up (man) - Slovenia (Skofljica)

Today, my best friend confessed to having feelings for me. I've been in love with her for a long time, so I was ecstatic. She doesn't see herself ever going out with me, though, because she's a couple of inches taller and can't imagine herself "towering" over her man. FML

#21378350
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32442) - you deserved it (2482)

On 03/20/2015 at 11:26am - love - by falling short (man) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, I was helping out during the school play's interval. My head of year jokingly asked me to follow him around with these mini cocktail sausages for the rest of the school year. I thought it would be witty to reply, "Does that make me your official sausage holder?" FML

#21378332
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25015) - you deserved it (78)

On 03/20/2015 at 10:41am - love - by MirandaJones (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)



FML's blog

  • Tania's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! How are you all doing? This week has been quite eventful for some people. Uber has been causing taxi drivers here and there to get their knickers in a twist, notable over here in France, which caused…

Friday 26 June 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: