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Today, I was ringing an elderly gentleman up at work. As I went to package up the buns he ordered, he held up a hand and told me to wait. He then looked me in the eyes, started squeezing them, then winked and told me to go ahead. I've never felt so violated. FML

#21050427
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37165) - you deserved it (3477)

On 02/04/2014 at 4:42pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, my boyfriend decided the best way to inform me of his shoplifting tendencies was to steal stuff while we were at Starbucks. FML

#21049681
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35204) - you deserved it (3407)

On 02/03/2014 at 8:30pm - love - by lbailey32 - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend of three weeks basically threatened to kill herself if I don't start thinking about having a child with her soon. FML

#21049518
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52683) - you deserved it (5573)

On 02/03/2014 at 5:47pm - love - by well i'm fucked (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend gave me a teddy bear. I thought it was a sweet thing to do, until I saw him open a slit in its back while visiting later in the day and removing a bag of weed. He gave me a teddy bear just so he could smuggle drugs past my parents. FML

#21049461
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41059) - you deserved it (5317)

On 02/03/2014 at 4:29pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today, I dreamed that Robert Downey Jr. kept flirting with me and asking me out. Each time, I refused him, because I'm taken. When I proudly told my boyfriend, he said, "What the hell? I could've kissed the mouth that kissed the Iron Man!" FML

#21049393
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38540) - you deserved it (7449)

On 02/03/2014 at 3:11pm - love - by Can't Believe It. - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I asked my sister what she thought of my boyfriend. She said, "He's nice. Deserves better than you, really." FML

#21048143
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39591) - you deserved it (5034)

On 02/02/2014 at 1:39pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I finally received the last check from my insurance company after my house flooded 10 months ago. Tonight my house flooded again. FML

#21047933
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43852) - you deserved it (3341)

On 02/02/2014 at 6:32am - love - by itwasalongnight -

Today, my Axe shampoo, body wash, and deodorant finally did their job: they got a girl to notice me. Too bad the girl was my grandma. FML

#21047196
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34168) - you deserved it (11041)

On 02/01/2014 at 1:37pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, for our anniversary, I sang my boyfriend a heartfelt, self-written song. The first thing he said when I finished was "Your fly is open." FML

#21046895
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37963) - you deserved it (5144)

On 02/01/2014 at 3:11am - love - by zippersaremoreimportantthansentiments (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I went on a blind date. The first thing the guy did was ask if I knew what it felt like to have spiders crawl out of my vagina. FML

#21044324
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47340) - you deserved it (5029)

On 01/29/2014 at 5:14pm - love - by riiiight (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, it's my 8 year anniversary. My boyfriend's "romantic" gesture for the occasion was to toss a few McDonald's coupons at me and tell me to get whatever I wanted. FML

#21044284
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41083) - you deserved it (6094)

On 01/29/2014 at 4:28pm - love - by CUNTCUNTCUNT (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend finally succeeded in unhooking my bra with one hand, excitedly exclaiming, "Boobies be free!" FML

#21043704
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40413) - you deserved it (10142)

On 01/29/2014 at 12:13am - love - by freed - United States (Ohio)

Today, I moved back into my dorm. My ex-girlfriend, and the guy she left me for, now cohabit next door. Now I get to hear them screwing while I try to do my homework. FML

#21043113
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46020) - you deserved it (3349)

On 01/28/2014 at 3:28pm - love - by Order of the Dangling Testicles (man) - United States (New York)



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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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