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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was helping out during the school play's interval. My head of year jokingly asked me to follow him around with these mini cocktail sausages for the rest of the school year. I thought it would be witty to reply, "Does that make me your official sausage holder?" FML

#21378332
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24964) - you deserved it (70)

On 03/20/2015 at 10:41am - love - by MirandaJones (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I met the perfect guy. He's sweet, funny, charming, a great kisser - the whole package. The downside? He has the same exact name as my father, last name and all. I can't kiss him without thinking of my dad. FML

#21378117
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32039) - you deserved it (3531)

On 03/19/2015 at 11:53pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend decided to show off one of his favorite skills: Peeing on my ceiling. FML

#21378092
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27753) - you deserved it (3191)

On 03/19/2015 at 11:22pm - love - by TooShortToCleanThat - United States

Today, I gave my friend condoms since he didn't have any and he was planning on "getting lucky." Little did I know he was planning on "getting lucky" with my sister. FML

#21378013
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32212) - you deserved it (52)

On 03/19/2015 at 9:06pm - love - by Fred - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after a 16-hour work day, I came home to my husband. I talked to him for about 10 minutes, then realized that he wasn't answering me but had his headset on and was talking on Xbox live. Not even playing a game, just talking. FML

#21377531
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29554) - you deserved it (3556)

On 03/19/2015 at 1:35am - love - by Anonymous -

Today, I tried a new hairstyle to impress a guy I like. I was pretty confident, until he took one look at me and said, "Uh... why's there an onion on your head?" So much for that. FML

#21376359
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (163) - you deserved it (5307)

On 03/17/2015 at 12:25pm - love - by RS (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my ex called me up to suggest that we become friends, only so that she could introduce me to her new boyfriend. FML

#21375599
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (133) - you deserved it (3213)

On 03/16/2015 at 10:36am - love - by xswitch74 (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. I thought everything went well, until I got a text from him later saying, "Come on mom, she isn't THAT bad." FML

#21375407
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29774) - you deserved it (2151)

On 03/16/2015 at 12:10am - love - by anon - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I worked up the courage to tell my girlfriend that I love her. She made a face like she'd just sucked on a lemon and said "Um... yay, I guess...?" and awkwardly left the room. FML

#21374314
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30466) - you deserved it (2518)

On 03/14/2015 at 7:04am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Flevoland)

Today, I found out my husband has been sleeping with one of the women in our marriage counselling group. FML

#21373841
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35062) - you deserved it (2406)

On 03/13/2015 at 2:47pm - love - by scared and alone (woman) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, I discovered that the man I have been talking to on a dating site is actually my ex-boyfriend. He created a fake profile and made me fall for someone that doesn't exist. We got on better anonymously than we ever did in 3 years together. FML

#21373070
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30914) - you deserved it (3276)

On 03/12/2015 at 9:53am - love - by mylovelifeisanepicfail (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I went on a date with a guy I met online. It was going OK, until he started asking me if he should stick with the site until he finds the right person. I guess I know how he feels about me, at least. FML

#21372843
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27969) - you deserved it (2412)

On 03/11/2015 at 11:19pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I thought the ring my boyfriend bought for me had fallen off while emptying the trash into the bin. After panicking and emptying a week's worth of rubbish onto the ground, I found my ring safe and sound. On my other hand. FML

#21372086
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18185) - you deserved it (54)

On 03/10/2015 at 8:33pm - love - by MyPrecious... (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



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