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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my wife wanted me to take her to a new restaurant in town. When I looked it up and saw their prices, I almost had a heart attack. When I said it was too expensive, she snapped "Maybe you'd like to look up 'Lorena Bobbitt' next?!" We went to the restaurant. FML

#21338935
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28346) - you deserved it (5727)

On 01/17/2015 at 1:49pm - love - by wounded pride, intact cock (man) - United States

Today, a pretty girl joined the line at the bus station. I let her skip the line and go before me so I could sit next to her. After she bought her ticket, I realized there were no more seats left on that bus. I was told to get off, and had to take the next bus, sitting next to a snoring old man. FML

#21338193
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25291) - you deserved it (11228)

On 01/16/2015 at 10:41am - love - by Marfo101 (man) - Ghana (Greater Accra)

Today, I asked out a girl that I've liked for a while. She thought I was joking and laughed, saying, "No. Have you met yourself?" FML

#21338134
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32842) - you deserved it (3100)

On 01/16/2015 at 7:49am - love - by SilverZephyr - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out that every single picture that I have ever sent to my boyfriend, his father has also received. Every. Single. One. FML

#21337935
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23791) - you deserved it (25935)

On 01/15/2015 at 10:43pm - love - by everysingleone - United States

Today, my nutjob girlfriend dumped me for refusing to stop talking to my best friend, just because she's a woman. Before she left, my now-ex decided to punish me by destroying the dissertation I've spent months working on, along with both backups of it. FML

#21337587
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35767) - you deserved it (3890)

On 01/15/2015 at 12:23pm - love - by Can I press charges? (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I confronted my wife because I thought the many hours a day she spends at a local coffee shop were so she could smoke. Turns out she's cheating on me. FML

#21337071
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33620) - you deserved it (2689)

On 01/14/2015 at 4:48pm - love - by SouthPaw (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my husband bought me XL pajamas for my birthday. I got really angry, telling him that's obviously not my size. I tried them on just to show him how ridiculous they look. They fit. FML

#21336954
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21164) - you deserved it (36741)

On 01/14/2015 at 12:49pm - love - by middleagednurse - United States (Florida)

Today, I dreamed that I cheated on my boyfriend. I was so overwhelmed with guilt that I called him while half-asleep to tell him about it and apologize. I'm fully awake now and he doesn't believe it was really a dream. FML

#21336949
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31885) - you deserved it (7230)

On 01/14/2015 at 12:35pm - love - by ihateeverything (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was trying on a shirt and asked my boyfriend if he liked it. He replied, "If I say no, can we still have sex tonight?" FML

#21336880
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29900) - you deserved it (5691)

On 01/14/2015 at 8:58am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was walking with a female friend when suddenly, my ex-girlfriend comes running down the street and says, "So, you're cheating on me with this slut, huh?!" We've been separated for a decade now. FML

#21336664
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35915) - you deserved it (2539)

On 01/13/2015 at 10:05pm - love - by RipeFlame - United States (Florida)

Today, my husband confessed that when he's angry with me, he uses my makeup sponge to apply his hemorrhoid cream. FML

#21336401
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32998) - you deserved it (3581)

On 01/13/2015 at 12:42pm - love - by Maiar (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I was cuddling my girlfriend. The TV was on behind me, with some kind of girl's basketball game playing. When I stared into my girlfriend's eyes, she accused me of trying to check out the girls by looking at their reflection in her eyes. FML

#21336365
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34725) - you deserved it (2847)

On 01/13/2015 at 11:25am - love - by can't win - Australia

Today, both my female flatmate and my gay male flatmate have got their boyfriends round. They've both stuck 'Do Not Disturb' signs on their bedroom doors and are both playing music which doesn't quite muffle the sounds of what they're up to. I haven't had a date in over six months. FML

#21335645
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32233) - you deserved it (3705)

On 01/12/2015 at 7:53am - love - by fukinlonely (man) - United Kingdom



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