Today, I recieved a phone call from a good guy friend of mine, someone I haven't seen for years. He tells me he has "deep" feelings for me, and wants to know since my husband is deployed, if it would be okay if we "dated" because he told his parents I'm his girlfriend. FML

by annoyed / 12/19/2009 at 12:52am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I met a girl at the bar. Things were going really well and we ended up going back to her place. Problem? Her husband who normally works the graveyard shift was home sick. FML

by Anonymous / 12/19/2009 at 12:13am / United States (Connecticut) / Love

Today, I spent hours delicately writing out what seemed to be a beautiful poem to my girlfriend. After I sent it to her, I kept eyeing my phone to see her surprised message. No, my only response was "you may want to use a spellcheck." FML

by Poem / 12/18/2009 at 11:29pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, my best friend decided to admit to me that he and my girlfriend have been cheating behind my back for the past two months. The reason he finally admitted it? Because she is now cheating on him with another one of our friends. FML

by Anonymous / 12/18/2009 at 3:33pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love

Today, I realised that the most kisses I ever get are in text messages from my Dad. FML

by lovesucks / 12/18/2009 at 3:26pm / United Kingdom (Leeds) / Love

Today, I looked at my house in Google Street View for the first time and noticed an unfamiliar vehicle in the driveway. When I asked my wife about it, she admitted to have an ongoing affair. Apparently the entire world knew my wife was having an affair before I did. FML

by cheaters_should_die / 12/18/2009 at 9:31am / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I found out that my ex-husband just had a baby with his new partner. We only split up a week ago. FML

by paula123 / 12/18/2009 at 8:02am / United Kingdom (Milton Keynes) / Love

Today, while lying in bed with my wife, I asked her if she still loved me. Her reply "Sometimes". This I know is true because she instantly rolled over and farted on my leg. FML

by yoked / 12/17/2009 at 10:48pm / United States (Utah) / Love

Today, I found my boyfriend of two years is a wanted man in the state of Texas, and was living under a fake identity for the past three years. What is he wanted for? Rampant identity theft. FML

by Frauded / 12/16/2009 at 8:42pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, after many, many attempts to get her out of my life, the girl that is stalking me told me that she loves me and our love can only be ended by her killing either herself or me. FML

by cheezmaster / 12/16/2009 at 6:55pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend in my room. About two minutes into it, my cat walks in and jumps on the bed with us. Without hesitation, my girlfriend tells me to stop, rolls over, and starts petting my cat. FML

by Anonymous / 12/16/2009 at 3:53pm / United Kingdom (London) / Love

Today, my boyfriend of over a year told me that he will never marry me because we are different ethnicities and his parents don't approve. I was of course very upset and crying. His way to comfort me was by saying, "Don't worry, I will always cheat on my wife with you." FML

by Anonymous / 12/16/2009 at 2:28pm / United States / Love

Today, it's the first evening that my husband and I will have without the kids in 8 months. We had been looking forward to it for ages, and my husband had even bought me some lovely new lingerie for the occasion. Guess what? I just got diarrhea. FML

by eww657 / 12/16/2009 at 10:43am / United Kingdom (Bracknell Forest) / Love