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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my boyfriend broke up with me and while trying to make a dramatic exit, I slammed his car door, slipped on the ice and landed on my back in front of a large crowd of onlookers. FML

#4066
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20319) - you deserved it (7415)

On 01/31/2009 at 10:30am - love - by kill me - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, my girlfriend caught me picking my nose and eating the booger. FML

#3992
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6247) - you deserved it (79136)

On 01/31/2009 at 6:48am - love - by jeesh - United States (New York)

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. I called him around two minutes after that, and he had already fallen asleep. FML

#3910
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7192) - you deserved it (28407)

On 01/30/2009 at 8:57pm - love - by grreeatttt - United States (California)

Today, I went out to eat with my aunt and uncle, I barely looked at the male waiter because I'm a shy person. Then my uncle says: "YOU SHOULD TAKE OUT MY NIECE! She's never dated in her life." I'm 19 and my match maker is my uncle. FML

#3846
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25420) - you deserved it (2635)

On 01/30/2009 at 5:08pm - love - by Noname - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend and I lost our virginity to each other. Before, I reached over to her computer and put on "Your Body is a Wonderland". Surprisingly, I lasted through the song and didn't realize her itunes was on random. "Rape me" by Nirvana came on. I still finished. FML

#3770
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25377) - you deserved it (5855)

On 01/30/2009 at 12:27pm - love - by RollieCollieUSA - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out the girl I've been trying to date for six months is gay. FML

#3701
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24440) - you deserved it (5197)

On 01/30/2009 at 10:28am - love - by The L word - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went on a date with my really attractive neighbor, and at the end, when I leaned in to make out with her, she shook my hand. FML

#3670
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20893) - you deserved it (5249)

On 01/30/2009 at 9:42am - love - by anonymous neighbor - United States (New York)

Today, I was in one of those lucid half sleeps with my boyfriend. Not fully awake to control myself, I ripped ass. I had no idea what to do. I pretended to still be sleeping. I'm pretty sure he noticed because he patted me on the back in a congratulatory sort of way. FML

#3486
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20940) - you deserved it (5666)

On 01/29/2009 at 7:13pm - love - by amg85904 - United States (Ohio)

Today, the girl who I have had a crush on for 2 years snuck up from behind me and gave me a hug. I farted very loud at the same exact time. FML

#3168
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31669) - you deserved it (4395)

On 01/28/2009 at 6:02pm - love - by john - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was feeling sick, so I called my boyfriend who lives down the street to come and keep me company. He replied with, "no, I can't come over, I'm busy, I'm playing xbox." FML

#3102
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20978) - you deserved it (4436)

On 01/28/2009 at 2:51pm - love - by vidzgrl - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to a birthday party at my girlfriends house. When her little brother was about to blow out the candles I slipped my hand into her sisters back pocket and squeeze her ass, thinking it was my girlfriend. She freaked out and now her family thinks I'm a pervert. FML

#2985
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6856) - you deserved it (28320)

On 01/28/2009 at 7:15am - love - by dieold - United States (Utah)

Today, my cheater of an ex-boyfriend sent me one of his many messages proclaiming his new-found love for me, and in the middle of it asked me how my period was going. FML

#2979
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21541) - you deserved it (1792)

On 01/28/2009 at 6:47am - love - by uninspired - United States (Illinois)

Today, my friend mentioned a book that reminded her of me, when I asked what it was called she said "He's just not that into you". FML

#2931
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18300) - you deserved it (1851)

On 01/27/2009 at 7:17pm - love - by Oh really - Australia (Western Australia)



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