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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I woke up and my husband said he got me a gift for our 1 year anniversary and it was on the table. We laid around cuddling and when I finally got up I was expecting to walk out to beautiful bouquet of flowers. I got two pack of cigarettes. FML

#2465572
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44510) - you deserved it (9994)

On 05/31/2009 at 2:07pm - love - by sadwife (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, the girl I like came over to my house to watch a movie. We had seen pretty much every movie that I suggested, so we ended up watching The Lion King. I forgot how sad that movie is, because once Mufasa died I started bawling my eyes out. FML

#2456065
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38875) - you deserved it (23399)

On 05/31/2009 at 2:46am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I met this really nice guy at the mall and he gave me his number. Later that night, I texted him. We got on the subject of food, and I started talking about how much I love veal. He responded with saying I was supporting animal murder, that I should go to hell and lose his number. FML

#2449996
384 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43588) - you deserved it (19585)

On 05/30/2009 at 11:34pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was driving to the local market with my son. We approached a vehicle that looked just like my fiancé's. My son peered out his window and said, "Mommy, daddy's getting kidnapped!" It seems he was being 'kidnapped' by his new girlfriend. FML

#2447996
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59922) - you deserved it (3003)

On 05/30/2009 at 10:37pm - love - by anoymus (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my boyfriend of two years asked me to marry him so that we can consolidate our student loans. FML

#2376040
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51073) - you deserved it (3485)

On 05/28/2009 at 3:51pm - love - by loserface23 (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I got an acceptance later to a great boarding school in India for my senior year of high school. I sent them a letter telling them I wouldn't go, because I just got back with my ex-boyfriend. I just got a text from my boyfriend. Guess who's my ex again? FML

#2344396
423 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18063) - you deserved it (114970)

On 05/27/2009 at 4:12pm - love - by tarini (woman) - Bangladesh (Dhaka)

Today, my girlfriend who lives in China contacted me and told me she'd been harassed by a guy and was thinking about pressing charges. The guy is someone I know from college - he promised me he would say "hi" to her for me while he was in Shanghai. FML

#2339786
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53610) - you deserved it (4943)

On 05/27/2009 at 12:18pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I dreamed that I met this beautiful girl at a restaurant and we ended up having lunch together. Everything was going perfect until the end when I tried to get her number and she wouldn't give it to me. I can't even get a girl in my dreams. FML

#2335998
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54328) - you deserved it (6157)

On 05/27/2009 at 5:48am - love - by xpxp2002 (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I felt left out that all my friends are getting married or have great relationships and my boyfriend won't commit. I made a facebook up and pretended to talk with this really cute guy I made up. Today, I found out that my boyfriend is gay... he started hitting on my made up facebook guy. FML

#2330424
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59526) - you deserved it (19473)

On 05/27/2009 at 12:06am - love - by sounfair90 (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, at exactly midnight, I get a text from my boyfriend saying we were done. I had just seen him 4 hours ago when we were out celebrating my birthday, and asked why he didnt just tell me then. He replies 'I couldn't break up with you on your birthday but i wanted it to be over ASAP' FML

#2323618
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53106) - you deserved it (3205)

On 05/26/2009 at 9:09pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after 7 hours on my feet at work, my boyfriend picked me up. Relieved, I took off my shoes. Suddenly, he looked up and sniffed asking,"are those your feet?" I had forgotten to put on socks in my rush to work. He made me put my shoes back on and sit in the back, windows open. FML

#2300896
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17414) - you deserved it (43501)

On 05/26/2009 at 2:10am - love - by Socklessandsmelly (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was at a fancy restaurant. I was drinking some water when I noticed a hot guy eating alone at another table waving at me. I smiled back, but had forgotten to swallow the water so it dribbled out of my mouth all over my shirt. FML

#2291155
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18417) - you deserved it (43613)

On 05/25/2009 at 9:25pm - love - by Droolgirl (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend invited me over so I went, not thinking anything of it. To my surprise, he broke up with me. I was pretty upset, and as I was leaving his mom hands me a box. When I got home I opened it. His mom baked me a break up cake. FML

#2290752
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52433) - you deserved it (3315)

On 05/25/2009 at 9:15pm - love - by cakegirl (man) - United States (Florida)



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