Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I tried jumping off my bed over the footboard. I tripped and broke a full length mirror with my face. FML

#2286
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8409) - you deserved it (24594)

On 01/23/2009 at 6:03am - love - by Malpal - United States (Michigan)

Today, I decided to give things a go with the guy that has fancied me for three years, based purely on my looks. After getting to know my personality he has decided he no longer fancies me at all. FML

#2272
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17164) - you deserved it (6574)

On 01/23/2009 at 1:41am - love - by twat - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I danced with a girl until the bar closed. We went back to my place. She had a penis. FML

#2248
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46930) - you deserved it (8759)

On 01/22/2009 at 6:27pm - love - by Noname - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my ex-boyfriend who I am still in love with sends me a text message that says "I miss you, baby". It turns out my name comes right after his girlfriend's name on his contact list. FML

#2236
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22142) - you deserved it (1665)

On 01/22/2009 at 5:47pm - love - by yeah... - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got a mailer from Adam and Eve with a bunch of hard core porn ads inside. I have been getting these since i ordered a Pirate porn video a few months ago. I was gone for a few weeks overseas. My mother-in-law was getting the mail. FML

#2226
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6139) - you deserved it (22604)

On 01/22/2009 at 4:31pm - love - by Noname - United States (Texas)

Today, a girl invited me over to her dorm room at 3 AM. For some reason, I thought it would be a good idea to respond to e-mails just before. She said she was tired and then went to bed. I'm a F*ing idiot. FML

#2212
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4763) - you deserved it (40249)

On 01/22/2009 at 3:34pm - love - by Princeton - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my 19 year old girlfriend dumped me because she thinks I'm immature. I'm 30. FML

#2154
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7988) - you deserved it (55432)

On 01/22/2009 at 7:06am - love - by Benji - Sent from mobile version

Today, I decided to get a Blizzard from Dairy Queen. As bent down to put my pen away, my Blizzard somehow defied the laws of gravity and fell on me. FML

#2150
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15876) - you deserved it (3555)

On 01/22/2009 at 6:10am - love - by sadtimes - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, I sprayed hair spray under my arms instead of anti-perspirant. I didn't realize it until I went to put my shirt on and couldn't raise my arms. FML

#2075
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16453) - you deserved it (9428)

On 01/21/2009 at 3:06pm - love - by stanDman - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I'm looking for a job, and the employer I spoke to by phone was busy, but before hanging up he said "we will call you soon". I still wonder how he plans to do so without even having asked for my number. FML

#2053
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17449) - you deserved it (2049)

On 01/21/2009 at 12:03pm - love - by maddy - Sent from mobile version

Today, a girl was coming on to me throughout an entire concert, giving me drinks. At the end of the evening, she gave me her MSN address so that we could do other things together. Thanks to all the drinks I'd had, I forgot her address. FML

#2030
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6082) - you deserved it (22665)

On 01/21/2009 at 9:23am - love - by Trash - Sent from mobile version

Today, I woke up with this terrible toothache and called my mother for a lift to the dentist. This super-dentist-chick enters in and says: "Nice to meet you, your mother just told me you're afraid of dentists?" I'm 29. FML

#2012
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17816) - you deserved it (2886)

On 01/21/2009 at 7:36am - love - by Noname - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I get home and there's a package waiting for me. I ordered something online 2 weeks ago for a girl I like. She's not available anymore. No refunds. FML

#1976
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16828) - you deserved it (4682)

On 01/21/2009 at 1:59am - love - by Dudeman5000 - Sent from mobile version



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: