Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, a girl invited me over to her dorm room at 3 AM. For some reason, I thought it would be a good idea to respond to e-mails just before. She said she was tired and then went to bed. I'm a F*ing idiot. FML

#2212
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4762) - you deserved it (40245)

On 01/22/2009 at 3:34pm - love - by Princeton - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my 19 year old girlfriend dumped me because she thinks I'm immature. I'm 30. FML

#2154
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7988) - you deserved it (55426)

On 01/22/2009 at 7:06am - love - by Benji - Sent from mobile version

Today, I decided to get a Blizzard from Dairy Queen. As bent down to put my pen away, my Blizzard somehow defied the laws of gravity and fell on me. FML

#2150
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15873) - you deserved it (3555)

On 01/22/2009 at 6:10am - love - by sadtimes - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, I sprayed hair spray under my arms instead of anti-perspirant. I didn't realize it until I went to put my shirt on and couldn't raise my arms. FML

#2075
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16449) - you deserved it (9428)

On 01/21/2009 at 3:06pm - love - by stanDman - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I'm looking for a job, and the employer I spoke to by phone was busy, but before hanging up he said "we will call you soon". I still wonder how he plans to do so without even having asked for my number. FML

#2053
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17447) - you deserved it (2049)

On 01/21/2009 at 12:03pm - love - by maddy - Sent from mobile version

Today, a girl was coming on to me throughout an entire concert, giving me drinks. At the end of the evening, she gave me her MSN address so that we could do other things together. Thanks to all the drinks I'd had, I forgot her address. FML

#2030
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6081) - you deserved it (22662)

On 01/21/2009 at 9:23am - love - by Trash - Sent from mobile version

Today, I woke up with this terrible toothache and called my mother for a lift to the dentist. This super-dentist-chick enters in and says: "Nice to meet you, your mother just told me you're afraid of dentists?" I'm 29. FML

#2012
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17816) - you deserved it (2885)

On 01/21/2009 at 7:36am - love - by Noname - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I get home and there's a package waiting for me. I ordered something online 2 weeks ago for a girl I like. She's not available anymore. No refunds. FML

#1976
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16828) - you deserved it (4682)

On 01/21/2009 at 1:59am - love - by Dudeman5000 - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend came to visit me for my birthday. Over dinner he handed me a blank card that had the words "I love you" hastily written on it. When the waiter came to take our order he informed him that we'd be paying separately. Happy Birthday. FML

#1942
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22947) - you deserved it (2067)

On 01/20/2009 at 5:47pm - love - by nicegirl08 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my brother's girlfriend dumped him. I overheard my mom tell him "It could be worse. Your brother can't even get a girlfriend". FML

#1919
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23764) - you deserved it (1649)

On 01/20/2009 at 3:41pm - love - by Taylor - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my girlfriend farted in her sleep, woke me up because it was so damn loud, and my room smelt like rotten noodles for about an hour. FML

#1913
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23313) - you deserved it (3808)

On 01/20/2009 at 3:00pm - love - by pikachu - United States (Virginia)

Today, I've been dating a girl for a year and she's only touched my penis twice. Once by accident. FML

#1883
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23114) - you deserved it (10416)

On 01/20/2009 at 11:52am - love - by jobless - Sent from mobile version

Today, while sitting next to me, my boyfriend sends a text to one of his "friends" saying "I'm thinking of you". FML

#1878
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20237) - you deserved it (1802)

On 01/20/2009 at 11:20am - love - by Wolf - Trinidad and Tobago (Saint George)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: