Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, my girlfriend and I lost our virginity to each other. Before, I reached over to her computer and put on "Your Body is a Wonderland". Surprisingly, I lasted through the song and didn't realize her itunes was on random. "Rape me" by Nirvana came on. I still finished. FML

#3770
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24205) - you deserved it (5792)

On 01/30/2009 at 12:27pm - love - by RollieCollieUSA - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out the girl I've been trying to date for six months is gay. FML

#3701
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24383) - you deserved it (5193)

On 01/30/2009 at 10:28am - love - by The L word - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went on a date with my really attractive neighbor, and at the end, when I leaned in to make out with her, she shook my hand. FML

#3670
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20846) - you deserved it (5239)

On 01/30/2009 at 9:42am - love - by anonymous neighbor - United States (New York)

Today, I was in one of those lucid half sleeps with my boyfriend. Not fully awake to control myself, I ripped ass. I had no idea what to do. I pretended to still be sleeping. I'm pretty sure he noticed because he patted me on the back in a congratulatory sort of way. FML

#3486
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20901) - you deserved it (5663)

On 01/29/2009 at 7:13pm - love - by amg85904 - United States (Ohio)

Today, the girl who I have had a crush on for 2 years snuck up from behind me and gave me a hug. I farted very loud at the same exact time. FML

#3168
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31621) - you deserved it (4390)

On 01/28/2009 at 6:02pm - love - by john - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was feeling sick, so I called my boyfriend who lives down the street to come and keep me company. He replied with, "no, I can't come over, I'm busy, I'm playing xbox." FML

#3102
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20929) - you deserved it (4432)

On 01/28/2009 at 2:51pm - love - by vidzgrl - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to a birthday party at my girlfriends house. When her little brother was about to blow out the candles I slipped my hand into her sisters back pocket and squeeze her ass, thinking it was my girlfriend. She freaked out and now her family thinks I'm a pervert. FML

#2985
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6515) - you deserved it (27398)

On 01/28/2009 at 7:15am - love - by dieold - United States (Utah)

Today, my cheater of an ex-boyfriend sent me one of his many messages proclaiming his new-found love for me, and in the middle of it asked me how my period was going. FML

#2979
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21479) - you deserved it (1789)

On 01/28/2009 at 6:47am - love - by uninspired - United States (Illinois)

Today, my friend mentioned a book that reminded her of me, when I asked what it was called she said "He's just not that into you". FML

#2931
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18262) - you deserved it (1850)

On 01/27/2009 at 7:17pm - love - by Oh really - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I got a text from my roommate asking me if it was cool that my ex was coming over to console him because he's sick. FML

#2860
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20046) - you deserved it (1589)

On 01/27/2009 at 2:41pm - love - by dammed - United States (New York)

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend for an hour listening to him talk about his new truck and his final exams. I literally did not say a single word. Just as I said, "Hey baby, guess what happened to me today?", he says, "Can I go to sleep? I'm too tired to guess. Night." FML

#2840
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27007) - you deserved it (3661)

On 01/27/2009 at 12:58pm - love - by fthis - United States (Colorado)

Today, three girls introduced themselves to me. I had met all of them before. FML

#2788
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25028) - you deserved it (2306)

On 01/27/2009 at 7:24am - love - by aere - United States (California)

Today, I was at a party and spent the whole night bragging to my friends about how I thought this girl was totally into me. As we were leaving, we saw the same girl making out with my ex. FML

#2760
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8066) - you deserved it (19656)

On 01/27/2009 at 1:33am - love - by dlova - United States (Oklahoma)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: