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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, my girlfriend and I lost our virginity to each other. Before, I reached over to her computer and put on "Your Body is a Wonderland". Surprisingly, I lasted through the song and didn't realize her itunes was on random. "Rape me" by Nirvana came on. I still finished. FML

#3770
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24192) - you deserved it (5700)

On 01/30/2009 at 12:27pm - love - by RollieCollieUSA - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out the girl I've been trying to date for six months is gay. FML

#3701
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23596) - you deserved it (5059)

On 01/30/2009 at 10:28am - love - by The L word - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went on a date with my really attractive neighbor, and at the end, when I leaned in to make out with her, she shook my hand. FML

#3670
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20779) - you deserved it (5232)

On 01/30/2009 at 9:42am - love - by anonymous neighbor - United States (New York)

Today, I was in one of those lucid half sleeps with my boyfriend. Not fully awake to control myself, I ripped ass. I had no idea what to do. I pretended to still be sleeping. I'm pretty sure he noticed because he patted me on the back in a congratulatory sort of way. FML

#3486
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20834) - you deserved it (5653)

On 01/29/2009 at 7:13pm - love - by amg85904 - United States (Ohio)

Today, the girl who I have had a crush on for 2 years snuck up from behind me and gave me a hug. I farted very loud at the same exact time. FML

#3168
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31244) - you deserved it (4350)

On 01/28/2009 at 6:02pm - love - by john - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was feeling sick, so I called my boyfriend who lives down the street to come and keep me company. He replied with, "no, I can't come over, I'm busy, I'm playing xbox." FML

#3102
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20865) - you deserved it (4424)

On 01/28/2009 at 2:51pm - love - by vidzgrl - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to a birthday party at my girlfriends house. When her little brother was about to blow out the candles I slipped my hand into her sisters back pocket and squeeze her ass, thinking it was my girlfriend. She freaked out and now her family thinks I'm a pervert. FML

#2985
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6491) - you deserved it (27319)

On 01/28/2009 at 7:15am - love - by dieold - United States (Utah)

Today, my cheater of an ex-boyfriend sent me one of his many messages proclaiming his new-found love for me, and in the middle of it asked me how my period was going. FML

#2979
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21381) - you deserved it (1783)

On 01/28/2009 at 6:47am - love - by uninspired - United States (Illinois)

Today, my friend mentioned a book that reminded her of me, when I asked what it was called she said "He's just not that into you". FML

#2931
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18214) - you deserved it (1840)

On 01/27/2009 at 7:17pm - love - by Oh really - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I got a text from my roommate asking me if it was cool that my ex was coming over to console him because he's sick. FML

#2860
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19957) - you deserved it (1584)

On 01/27/2009 at 2:41pm - love - by dammed - United States (New York)

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend for an hour listening to him talk about his new truck and his final exams. I literally did not say a single word. Just as I said, "Hey baby, guess what happened to me today?", he says, "Can I go to sleep? I'm too tired to guess. Night." FML

#2840
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26898) - you deserved it (3655)

On 01/27/2009 at 12:58pm - love - by fthis - United States (Colorado)

Today, three girls introduced themselves to me. I had met all of them before. FML

#2788
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24941) - you deserved it (2299)

On 01/27/2009 at 7:24am - love - by aere - United States (California)

Today, I was at a party and spent the whole night bragging to my friends about how I thought this girl was totally into me. As we were leaving, we saw the same girl making out with my ex. FML

#2760
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7806) - you deserved it (19110)

On 01/27/2009 at 1:33am - love - by dlova - United States (Oklahoma)



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