Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I found out my girlfriend's password for okcupid is "i_love_mike". My name is not Mike. FML

#5894
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27849) - you deserved it (2713)

On 02/03/2009 at 3:49am - love - by 751920 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend out of the blue told me I wasn't fat, that my stomach was flat and it was only my butt that was big. I thought that this was a compliment. His response? "Not at all". FML

#5886
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23900) - you deserved it (2394)

On 02/03/2009 at 3:32am - love - by Noname - United States (Illinois)

Today, I sent a guy that I like a lot a picture of myself, I got all dressed up sexy and did my make-up. He sent me a reply saying "your cat is fat". FML

#5809
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23720) - you deserved it (5862)

On 02/02/2009 at 9:36pm - love - by Noname - United States (California)

Today, I woke from last night after meeting the most amazing man, and after giving him a good morning kiss, roll out of bed to use his bathroom. After using his toothbrush, I go to replace it in his holder only to find not one, but several prescriptions for herpes in his unzipped toiletry bag. FML

#5784
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18075) - you deserved it (38119)

On 02/02/2009 at 8:42pm - love - by screwed. - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I asked a guy out on a coffee date, and we started talking about our mutual careers. At the end of the date he asked me if I had any more questions about job opportunities or any more advice, then shook my hand and gave me his contact card. FML

#5748
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22861) - you deserved it (3118)

On 02/02/2009 at 7:54pm - love - by myrie (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got stuck in an elevator for 2 hours with my boyfriend and the guy that I have been secretly having an affair with for 6 months. FML

#5470
316 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41947) - you deserved it (341102)

On 02/02/2009 at 2:23pm - love - by Noname (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I went out on a date with a girl for the first time. I opened her car door for her and then slammed her leg in it upon closing. She will be in a cast for 6 weeks. FML

#5393
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28675) - you deserved it (8814)

On 02/02/2009 at 12:23pm - love - by JD (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend went into great detail over the Tiffany's jewelry he painstakingly selected for his previous girlfriends on their birthday. I got hand towels. In powder blue. From Target. FML

#5208
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30229) - you deserved it (2069)

On 02/02/2009 at 8:25am - love - by bewitched and bothered - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend told me he'd help me shave my mustache. I'm a girl. FML

#5134
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24233) - you deserved it (5769)

On 02/02/2009 at 6:04am - love - by unbelievable - United States (California)

Today, though I'm normally unperturbed by my single-ness, I walked by some squirrels engaged in mating rituals and felt a pang of jealousy. FML

#5133
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28596) - you deserved it (3454)

On 02/02/2009 at 5:49am - love - by murphy - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got an email from the local D and D meet up group that the next meeting will be on Feb. 14th. I don't know what is more sad: that the group is meeting on Valentine's Day, or that I have nothing better to do but go. FML

#5128
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24589) - you deserved it (3887)

On 02/02/2009 at 5:41am - love - by Noname - United States (Alabama)

Today, I asked a little old lady in line at my work why she wasn't out enjoying the beautiful day with all her friends. Her response: "I'd love to, but they're all dead." FML

#4982
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14169) - you deserved it (24551)

On 02/01/2009 at 7:51pm - love - by beckbr - United States (Michigan)

Today, it's my birthday. My wife gave me a card saying "You made it to 36!". It's my 35th birthday. FML

#4884
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25938) - you deserved it (1915)

On 02/01/2009 at 5:47pm - love - by Chakkamofo - United States (Oregon)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: