Today, a really hot guy smacked my ass. I farted. FML

by Anonymous / 03/01/2010 at 5:04pm / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, I was at the gym with my boyfriend. He is a bit feminine, but it has never really bothered me. Until I realised I was lifting heavier weights than he was. FML

by Delilah / 03/01/2010 at 3:53am / Norway (Sor-Trondelag) / Love

Today, my boyfriend and I went for a ride in a paddle-boat. He decided it would be fun to paddle near the fountain. The fountain decided it would be fun to shower me, him and all of our things in filthy, stinking duck water. I had to ride the bus home by myself. FML

by duckwater / 03/01/2010 at 1:43am / Australia (Victoria) / Love

Today, I had just finished riding my bike when I ran into the girl I am secretly in love with. While I walked over to her I got an erection through my spandex biking shorts. FML

by hornyloser770 / 02/28/2010 at 9:15pm / Love

Today, I reached a new low and embarrased my entire family. While in the frozen section of Walmart, I dropped to my knees and let out a horrific, agonizing scream, when I found out they were out of Strawberry Toaster Strudels. FML

by Anonymous / 02/28/2010 at 2:17pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I saw my boyfriend of two years had joined a group on facebook called 'Guys who are proud of their girlfriends'. I smiled and was about to like it when I noticed a comment below from a girl saying "Awww thanks babe :) xxxx". FML

by FBfail / 02/28/2010 at 8:10am / United Kingdom (Bedfordshire) / Love

Today, I discovered that my abusive, obsessive, psychotic ex-boyfriend from over two years ago still has a thing for me. How did I find out? Although I've ignored him walking unnecessarily past my house for the past two months, it was hard to ignore when he fell from a tree outside my window. FML

by sacrophage / 02/27/2010 at 11:30pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, feeling down and dejected because of the shitty weather and none of my friends or family wanting to spend time with me to feel loved I took my favorite stuffed animal and that says 'I love you' when you squeeze it. I squeezed it. Nothing happened. Even an inanimate object rejected me. FML

by dejected / 02/27/2010 at 8:32pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, my boyfriend and I were asleep. Evidently, he was dreaming about being a UFC fighter, because, out of no where, he grabs the back of my head and punches me in the nose. I haven't been able to breathe right out of my nose all day. FML

by anonymous / 02/27/2010 at 11:06am / United States / Love

Today, after many weeks of talking to this guy over the phone for hours on end and establishing that we both had feelings for the other, we met in person. He saw me, got an "emergency text," and hasn't talked to me since. FML

by dino317 / 02/27/2010 at 12:02am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I was browsing a website where you can talk to strangers anonymously, when I met a guy I really hit it off with. After talking for two hours, we decided to keep in touch, just in time for me to hit the "Next Person" button by mistake. There's no way to undo it. FML

by Ellen / 02/26/2010 at 2:58pm / Norway (Aust-Agder) / Love

Today, I realized explosive diarrhea can happen, and at the most inopportune times, such as on the day of MY wedding. At the alter while my husband said his vows. FML

by pain / 02/26/2010 at 5:23am / Japan / Love

Today, I was on a date with someone I've had a crush on for a long time. It was after midnight, we were chatting in the car and I was close to having my first kiss ever. That is, until a bunch of policemen popped up to arrest my date for being a suspected drug dealer. FML

by ifaisal / 02/25/2010 at 10:05pm / Qatar (Ad Dawhah) / Love