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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I met a really nice couple at a bar. We talked and the conversation eventually drifted towards online dating. I casually commented that hooking up through the internet was sad and pathetic. Turns out they met on Myspace. FML

#317816
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13256) - you deserved it (61344)

On 03/14/2009 at 4:43am - love - by bigmouth (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were choosing animals that reminded us of eachother. I said he reminded me of a tiger because he is really muscular. He told me I reminded him of a zebra. When I asked him why, he said it was because of my stretchmarks. FML

#304824
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75681) - you deserved it (7181)

On 03/13/2009 at 4:03pm - love - by Noname (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend because I saw him with another woman. I confronted both of them in screaming rage "What the fuck? Are you cheating on me with this ugly slut?" They were in shock. Turns out it was his cousin visiting from New Jersey, he was gonna introduce us at dinner. FML

#300498
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19817) - you deserved it (187452)

On 03/13/2009 at 9:18am - love - by nowthatsfcked (woman) - Canada

Today, I finally got the courage to tell my best friend that I've had a crush on him since our junior year. Since I couldn't see him I shot him a text. His response: "Yeah I know. I've tried kind of ignoring it." FML

#299103
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73325) - you deserved it (7053)

On 03/13/2009 at 3:27am - love - by Noname (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my best friend set me up on a blind date with someone he said was very hot. I'm not exactly what you call fit, so I haven't been dating lately. As soon as I got to the restaurant, I spotted the girl. She looked me up and down, said, "You have GOT to be kidding me" and left. FML

#290842
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63903) - you deserved it (6836)

On 03/12/2009 at 8:38pm - love - by tomtomcutiepoof (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to exchange presents for our birthdays. I spent $100 on perfume and Victoria's Secret clothes. She bought me a bag of lifesavers, then asked me to leave because she wanted to take a nap. FML

#274093
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70869) - you deserved it (4781)

On 03/11/2009 at 4:46pm - love - by cdick (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, the cute boy in my biology class I had been crushing on invited me over to study for a huge test. Once I got to his house, I really had to use the bathroom. I ended ending up taking a huge dump and clogging up his toilet. He had to come plunge it for me. FML

#261901
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70145) - you deserved it (21830)

On 03/10/2009 at 4:42pm - love - by musicaddict (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I emailed the guy I like to ask him on a coffee date. He responded, declining by telling me he never drinks coffee. We met at Starbucks. FML

#257838
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55684) - you deserved it (3560)

On 03/10/2009 at 12:20am - love - by nononame (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I called up the boy I like to ask him on a date. He said "Haha, thats a pretty good impression Chris. Next time pick someone less ugly and maybe I'd think this is real." He thought I was his friend prank calling him. FML

#243947
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81890) - you deserved it (4326)

On 03/08/2009 at 5:58pm - love - by Depressed (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my girlfriend dumped me for someone else. An hour earlier I had just gotten permission from her dad to propose. FML

#239413
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (139882) - you deserved it (6304)

On 03/08/2009 at 12:33am - love - by Brad (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend and I were out to eat. The waiter came and asked what we wanted. My boyfriend said he wanted a cheeseburger and I told the waiter I'd have the same. My boyfriend looked at me and said, "Are you sure you don't want a salad?" FML

#234150
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58699) - you deserved it (7509)

On 03/07/2009 at 1:36pm - love - by Kate (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I finally told my best friend whom I've secretly been in love with for two years that I was in love with her but at the last second chickened out and said I was joking. She replied with "Don't scare me like that. I thought I was going to have to find a new best friend for a second" FML

#230798
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63936) - you deserved it (6486)

On 03/06/2009 at 11:17pm - love - by crap (woman) - United States (North Carolina)



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