Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I asked a guy out on a coffee date, and we started talking about our mutual careers. At the end of the date he asked me if I had any more questions about job opportunities or any more advice, then shook my hand and gave me his contact card. FML

#5748
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21499) - you deserved it (2980)

On 02/02/2009 at 7:54pm - love - by myrie (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got stuck in an elevator for 2 hours with my boyfriend and the guy that I have been secretly having an affair with for 6 months. FML

#5470
299 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37045) - you deserved it (322308)

On 02/02/2009 at 2:23pm - love - by Noname (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I went out on a date with a girl for the first time. I opened her car door for her and then slammed her leg in it upon closing. She will be in a cast for 6 weeks. FML

#5393
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27491) - you deserved it (8535)

On 02/02/2009 at 12:23pm - love - by JD (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend went into great detail over the Tiffany's jewelry he painstakingly selected for his previous girlfriends on their birthday. I got hand towels. In powder blue. From Target. FML

#5208
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28586) - you deserved it (1922)

On 02/02/2009 at 8:25am - love - by bewitched and bothered - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend told me he'd help me shave my mustache. I'm a girl. FML

#5134
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22691) - you deserved it (5506)

On 02/02/2009 at 6:04am - love - by unbelievable - United States (California)

Today, though I'm normally unperturbed by my single-ness, I walked by some squirrels engaged in mating rituals and felt a pang of jealousy. FML

#5133
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26985) - you deserved it (3278)

On 02/02/2009 at 5:49am - love - by murphy - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got an email from the local D and D meet up group that the next meeting will be on Feb. 14th. I don't know what is more sad: that the group is meeting on Valentine's Day, or that I have nothing better to do but go. FML

#5128
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22810) - you deserved it (3701)

On 02/02/2009 at 5:41am - love - by Noname - United States (Alabama)

Today, I asked a little old lady in line at my work why she wasn't out enjoying the beautiful day with all her friends. Her response: "I'd love to, but they're all dead." FML

#4982
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11663) - you deserved it (21823)

On 02/01/2009 at 7:51pm - love - by beckbr - United States (Michigan)

Today, it's my birthday. My wife gave me a card saying "You made it to 36!". It's my 35th birthday. FML

#4884
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21783) - you deserved it (1577)

On 02/01/2009 at 5:47pm - love - by Chakkamofo - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend called me by his mother's name for the 100th time. I'm a guy. FML

#4745
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29309) - you deserved it (8466)

On 02/01/2009 at 2:01pm - love - by someonevexed - Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg)

Today, I asked the girl I like if she wanted to go to the movies, she said yes and I said I'd let her pick the movie. She picked the movie, "Just Friends". FML

#4600
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26062) - you deserved it (3166)

On 02/01/2009 at 9:40am - love - by JLoRd - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my best friend was crying because her boyfriend is a retard. I brought my thumb up to wipe a tear off her face, and somehow stuck it up her nose. FML

#4457
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19337) - you deserved it (9484)

On 02/01/2009 at 3:11am - love - by FractalSanity - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend asked me to go to a car show. I told him to hold on, I had to ask my mom. I quietly asked her to say no for me. She said "Sure!". FML

#4294
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6636) - you deserved it (28993)

On 01/31/2009 at 6:25pm - love - by oicwydt - United States (New Jersey)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: