Today, I called my boyfriend to tell him how excited I was to drive 12 hours to see him and his new house. His girlfriend answered. FML

by ac13 / 06/27/2010 at 2:03pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, my friend hit a glass with her arm, so I dove to try and catch it before it hit the ground and shattered. I hit my head against the table, giving me a nice gash that needed stitches. The glass was actually plastic. FML

by ouch / 06/26/2010 at 10:23am / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Love

Today, I was driving along when I saw a hot girl walking. I decided to impress her by doing a 180 degree turn. Successfully pulling off my trick, I decided to back up so I could go the right way. Not looking behind, I backed up and smashed into a wall. FML

by Anonymous / 06/26/2010 at 9:24am / Tanzania United Republic of (Dar es Salaam) / Love

Today, I bought tickets for my friends and me to go to a concert. While I was in the shower, they ditched me and took my girlfriend. FML

by anyomous / 06/25/2010 at 11:19pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, after getting my appendix taken out, we had to drive over five sets of railroad tracks. Then, my four year old brother decided to punch me in the stomach because, "I took away his mommy for two days." FML

by cduttl1230 / 06/25/2010 at 8:30pm / United States (Idaho) / Love

Today, I was at the store when I saw two extremely hot girls. I walked into their aisle and they looked at me and smiled. I stopped and pretended to look at something so I could listen to what they were saying. They started laughing and walked away. It turned out I was reading a box of tampons. FML

by Anonymous / 06/25/2010 at 8:29pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Love

Today, I was eating lunch with my boyfriend when I started choking. My boyfriend took it as an opportunity to sneak food off my plate. FML

by SMS123 / 06/25/2010 at 3:42pm / United States / Love

Today, I realized that when my boyfriend said "I'll love you forever" what he really meant was "I'll love you until I meet your significantly more attractive sister" FML

by Crumpet / 06/25/2010 at 3:08am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, my girlfriend "accidentally" set her relationship status to "single", and 20 of my friends "liked" it, including my mom. FML

by facebook / 06/24/2010 at 6:09am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, I went running. My girlfriend was so surprised at the fact that I'm exercising that she accused me of making it up so I could cheat on her. I'm just trying to get in shape. FML

by anonymous / 06/24/2010 at 1:09am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, it was the girl of my dreams' birthday. She already knows I am totally in love with her. So for her birthday I decided to buy her a $60 dollar bottle of rum for her and her friends to have fun with. She picked it up from my house with her new boyfriend waiting in the car. FML

by Anonymous / 06/23/2010 at 7:06pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, my boyfriend of over 2 years said he wants to get married before he leaves for basic training. Not because he loves me, but because he'll get paid more if he's married. This is the only time he's been excited about marriage. FML

by Anonymous / 06/22/2010 at 4:12pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love

Today, I went to my boyfriend's apartment to surprise him with breakfast only to find that his other girlfriend had beat me to it. FML

by k.love / 06/22/2010 at 8:59am / United States (Utah) / Love