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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my phone rang for the first time in four days. It was my mom. She dialed the wrong number. FML

#9653
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36573) - you deserved it (2504)

On 02/05/2009 at 10:14am - love - by lonely (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I hooked up with this man for the first time. He takes his shirt off and has a chestful of black hair. He had his name shaved into it. FML

#8288
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34042) - you deserved it (7504)

On 02/04/2009 at 3:20pm - love - by banana (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I asked my boyfriend to ravish me. He told me he would rather play PS3. FML

#7921
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30409) - you deserved it (5792)

On 02/04/2009 at 12:04pm - love - by fml_for_real - United States (New York)

Today, I told my girlfriend that I didn't feel wanted. Then she talked about how her cat puked on the carpet. FML

#7578
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24026) - you deserved it (2598)

On 02/04/2009 at 9:18am - love - by constantine (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, while surfing facebook I noticed someone in my network had recently shifted his relationship status from undeclared to "single." We've been dating exclusively for nine months. FML

#6861
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23391) - you deserved it (1746)

On 02/03/2009 at 6:51pm - love - by Noname (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I showed my boyfriend a picture of me in what I thought was a sexy skintight dress. He responded by saying "it's ok, I went through a pudgy stage too". The picture was from Saturday night. FML

#6715
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24750) - you deserved it (3367)

On 02/03/2009 at 5:38pm - love - by Sam - United States (New York)

Today, I realized it's been 5 days since my boyfriend last answered the phone when I called. Two weeks ago, he told me he used to break up with his girlfriends in a very juvenile way. He doesn't answer their phone calls. FML

#6332
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27436) - you deserved it (2368)

On 02/03/2009 at 12:43pm - love - by Ginger (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my fiance told me that he no longer loves me, that he still has feelings for an ex. The wedding is off and he needs the ring back to give to the right woman. FML

#6280
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62211) - you deserved it (2621)

On 02/03/2009 at 12:08pm - love - by nolongerengaged (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend asked me to get her new clothes. She's gone from a size 4 to a size 12 during our relationship. FML

#5939
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28184) - you deserved it (10161)

On 02/03/2009 at 5:47am - love - by damnit (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out my girlfriend's password for okcupid is "i_love_mike". My name is not Mike. FML

#5894
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23948) - you deserved it (2352)

On 02/03/2009 at 3:49am - love - by 751920 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend out of the blue told me I wasn't fat, that my stomach was flat and it was only my butt that was big. I thought that this was a compliment. His response? "Not at all". FML

#5886
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21815) - you deserved it (2201)

On 02/03/2009 at 3:32am - love - by Noname - United States (Illinois)

Today, I sent a guy that I like a lot a picture of myself, I got all dressed up sexy and did my make-up. He sent me a reply saying "your cat is fat". FML

#5809
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18854) - you deserved it (4453)

On 02/02/2009 at 9:36pm - love - by Noname - United States (California)

Today, I woke from last night after meeting the most amazing man, and after giving him a good morning kiss, roll out of bed to use his bathroom. After using his toothbrush, I go to replace it in his holder only to find not one, but several prescriptions for herpes in his unzipped toiletry bag. FML

#5784
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14977) - you deserved it (28208)

On 02/02/2009 at 8:42pm - love - by screwed. - United States (District of Columbia)



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