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Man or woman?

Today, the phone rang so I went to answer it. No one was there. A minute later the phone rang again and no one answered so I assumed it was a telemarketer or a prank so I started swearing uncontrollably in rage. Turns out it was my crush calling to ask me out, but she was too nervous to ask. FML

#880527
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17729) - you deserved it (68303)

On 04/09/2009 at 1:04am - love - by skmusic (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my sister told my mother how she saw our neighbour's son at the movies with a girl and that they were kissing. My mother said that any girl willing to date someone so ugly must have self esteem issues and they laughed. I'm his girlfriend, my sister didn't recognize me. FML

#877669
110 comments

Today, I waited in line to get into a club with my girlfriend, the bouncer only let her in, she told me to call her if I needed anything and left me. We were supposed to celebrate my birthday. FML

#874593
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (106036) - you deserved it (8812)

On 04/08/2009 at 5:43pm - love - by intranator (man) - Jordan (Amman Governorate)

Today, I met a guy online. We talked all night long and hit it off amazingly. He told me he'd never felt that way about anyone else, and I agreed. He sent me a picture and he was gorgeous. I sent him one after he assured me he didn't care what I looked like. I haven't heard from him since. FML

#867066
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67291) - you deserved it (11165)

On 04/08/2009 at 3:19am - love - by DL06 (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my mom asked me to look through old VHS tapes to throw away, I found one that said "Ashley's kindergarten Play-'95", I put the tape in, it begins to play, only to see "Days of our lives", "Melrose Place", and "ER". My childhood memories are ranked lower than tv shows. FML

#863008
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53701) - you deserved it (3085)

On 04/07/2009 at 10:53pm - love - by 4gottenmemories (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because apparently I need to "grow up". He is the one who plays excesive Call of Duty and still has Pokémon and Bionicles in his room. FML

#856956
465 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58906) - you deserved it (20169)

On 04/07/2009 at 5:41pm - love - by phreshrice (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I went on a date with this girl I met online. The conversation drifted and we were talking about how we'd prefer to die, if we had a choice. I said, "I want to skydive over the ocean without a parachute." She said she wants to be made into a wallet. FML

#849037
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55163) - you deserved it (8867)

On 04/07/2009 at 3:08am - love - by no_leather_of_any_kind - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was looking at the page of a girl I've had this big crush on for a long time. After getting a date with her and taking her horse back riding and having a picture taken of the two of us I find that she paint shopped me out of the picture before posting it. FML

#847949
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57004) - you deserved it (3974)

On 04/07/2009 at 1:21am - love - by darkman28 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I overheard a couple talking behind me. She said, "You wanna know what's really scary?" He said, "the size of that guy? Yeah he's huge", to which she replied, "no, the scary thing is that's a chick." They weren't talking about me, but they sure were talking about my girlfriend. FML

#847487
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59734) - you deserved it (8028)

On 04/07/2009 at 12:53am - love - by effedfosh (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, on my flight to Vegas, I was wishing that a really cute guy would come sit in the seat next to mine. A few minutes later, a really cute guy sat in the seat next to me and even started to talk to me. When I said, "I like rugged men." he said "Oh ya, me too! I really like buff guys also." FML

#831202
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63707) - you deserved it (11757)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:40am - love - by vela9002 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to buy beer underage for a party to impress a girl. I picked up the case of beer and went to the cashier, he ran it through without asking for ID. I left the store with a smirk on my face, I arrived at the party and showed the case to the girl. It was non-alcoholic. FML

#825703
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9524) - you deserved it (89811)

On 04/05/2009 at 10:22pm - love - by Triedtobecool (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I hired a babysitter, so my husband and I could spend some time together and work on our failing marriage. I dressed up. We went out. He got drunk and puked on me. FML

#820741
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81201) - you deserved it (6714)

On 04/05/2009 at 5:34pm - love - by IfuSeekAmyIdo (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my boyfriend of 3 months and I were in the middle of a heavy make-out session when his cell rang. Normally, he'd ignore it. This time however he pushed me off of him and said "Shit! It's probably my girlfriend!" I thought I was his girlfriend. FML

#813672
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (143489) - you deserved it (14471)

On 04/05/2009 at 5:43am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)



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