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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my girlfriend of 2 months found out she was 4 months pregnant with her ex's baby. She told me I could leave her and she wouldn't blame me, but I decided to stay with her. She told me she loved me and then dumped me because she needed to be with her baby's daddy. FML

#3042247
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52739) - you deserved it (6134)

On 06/19/2009 at 9:12pm - love - by thissucks (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found a note on my door that said "You're the sexiest person I've ever stalked". Later, I found another note that said "Sorry, that was meant for your roommate. You aren't my type." Not even a creepy stalker thinks I'm attractive. FML

#3041162
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45595) - you deserved it (3341)

On 06/19/2009 at 8:28pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I looked through my girlfriend's phone book and saw two entries with my name. One had "(cute)" attached to it. I checked to see if it was my number. It wasn't. FML

#3036778
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38792) - you deserved it (4785)

On 06/19/2009 at 5:41pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was browsing my computer to find naked pictures of my ex-girlfriend. I decided it'd be funny to photoshop a penis onto one of the pictures. I'm straight and the new picture turned me on more than before. FML

#3007389
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11817) - you deserved it (59283)

On 06/18/2009 at 7:39pm - love - by AlexK (man) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, I went to the store to buy some groceries. While I was at the store, an employee came up to me and said, "You're beautiful!" When I came home I told my husband what had just happened. My husband then asked, "What was wrong with him?" FML

#2999612
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49413) - you deserved it (4987)

On 06/18/2009 at 3:40pm - love - by Ann (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, after a month of planning, I started to tease my boyfriend of 3 years about the wonderful anniversary plans I had made for us. It was a secret, so I let him try and guess. He said "As long as its not a spa day. that would suck I would never go." It's a spa day. That I've already paid for. FML

#2997595
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36797) - you deserved it (23608)

On 06/18/2009 at 2:34pm - love - by Lvdkinda (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me telling me I have problems communicating and that I didn't understand her. When I asked her why she didn't talk to me about this before she said "I didn't want to talk about it." FML

#2987293
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49992) - you deserved it (3118)

On 06/18/2009 at 3:24am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was invited out to a date by my ex-boyfriend. He seemed really excited to reconnect and kept holding my hand and complimenting how I looked. Out of nowhere a girl runs up to him screaming. It was his current girlfriend, he was using me to make her jealous. FML

#2983603
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46760) - you deserved it (5975)

On 06/18/2009 at 12:52am - love - by savvylady (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I took home my grandpa's ashes. I then went out with my grandma, leaving my 5-year-old at home with my 12-year-old. When I got home, my beaming 5-year-old opened the door, covered in white powder. My grandmother asked where all the powder had come from. She pointed to the empty ashbox. FML

#2980433
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43809) - you deserved it (16097)

On 06/17/2009 at 10:40pm - love - by fcnk (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was dropping my new boyfriend off at his house. I had never been there before, so he was giving me directions as I drove. We passed a small trailer home on the right. I commented without thinking, "I'm so glad I don't live in a house like that." My boyfriend told me to turn right. FML

#2973939
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9913) - you deserved it (60446)

On 06/17/2009 at 6:08pm - love - by emix (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I finished the run for a play in which I played a gay man. Now that all the performances are over, I have kissed a man more times in my life than I have kissed a woman. I'm straight. FML

#2963863
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48937) - you deserved it (9392)

On 06/17/2009 at 10:06am - love - by yashmoshin1 (man) - United States

Today, I asked out this girl I've been spending a lot of time with lately. She told me she was only hanging out with me because she thought I was gay and wouldn't try to get in her pants. FML

#2953608
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42553) - you deserved it (4281)

On 06/16/2009 at 8:59pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I stepped outside to wait for a cute guy to arrive after arduously preparing for our first date. Just as he rounded the corner, I tripped over the last stair and landed headfirst into my mom's fresh pot of snapdragons. My mom uses compost and manure for her plants. FML

#2934855
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38032) - you deserved it (4347)

On 06/16/2009 at 5:13am - love - by flowerfail (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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