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Today, I was eating at Steak N' Shake. I noticed that the cute waitress was checking me out. When I was done with my meal she wrote her number on the ticket. So, as I was walking out the door, I turned around to wave at her, and walked into a metal bar next to the door. FML

#333270
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45125) - you deserved it (21772)

On 03/15/2009 at 12:20am - love - by Raw95 (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, the hottest girl in the entire freshman class was telling her friend she was going to Florida for spring break. She said she would be in the same city I would and I couldnt help but say, "Oh, cool! Maybe I'll see you there!" She simply looked at me and said, "I hope not." FML

#328244
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63421) - you deserved it (8363)

On 03/14/2009 at 8:07pm - love - by evanescence (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, My girlfriend who I've been dating for over a year was going to Florida for a short trip with a few friends without me since I couldn't get work off. She asked me to put her iPod in her bag for her as she was almost ready to walk out the door. Thats when I saw she packed 10 condoms with her. FML

#322339
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (97539) - you deserved it (4906)

On 03/14/2009 at 2:25pm - love - by that1guy (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my Christian boyfriend of six months broke up with me. I had told him when we started dating that I was an atheist, and he just now decided to look up what it is. He gave me a bible. FML

#320737
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66892) - you deserved it (15580)

On 03/14/2009 at 12:48pm - love - by Noname (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I yelled at my spouse in front of 20 guests for not coming to blow out his birthday cake candles. Turns out he was in the other room, quietly changing his disabled friend's diaper. FML

#319539
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14857) - you deserved it (175148)

On 03/14/2009 at 11:16am - love - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was going to attempt to compliment my girlfriend, I planned on telling her that she smelled really nice. In a loving tone, I confidently told her, "Baby, you have a certain stench to you." FML

#318197
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15713) - you deserved it (105033)

On 03/14/2009 at 7:05am - love - by DSM (man) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I told my boyfriend "we need to talk". He said "i know". So we met after school, and he said he was ok with me breaking up with him, that he wasn't that into me either. He said all that before I could tell him that my parents wanted to meet him. FML

#318032
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60651) - you deserved it (8092)

On 03/14/2009 at 5:46am - love - by knee2tak (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I met a really nice couple at a bar. We talked and the conversation eventually drifted towards online dating. I casually commented that hooking up through the internet was sad and pathetic. Turns out they met on Myspace. FML

#317816
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11934) - you deserved it (58296)

On 03/14/2009 at 4:43am - love - by bigmouth (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were choosing animals that reminded us of eachother. I said he reminded me of a tiger because he is really muscular. He told me I reminded him of a zebra. When I asked him why, he said it was because of my stretchmarks. FML

#304824
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70044) - you deserved it (6565)

On 03/13/2009 at 4:03pm - love - by Noname (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend because I saw him with another woman. I confronted both of them in screaming rage "What the fuck? Are you cheating on me with this ugly slut?" They were in shock. Turns out it was his cousin visiting from New Jersey, he was gonna introduce us at dinner. FML

#300498
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15811) - you deserved it (174206)

On 03/13/2009 at 9:18am - love - by nowthatsfcked (woman) - Canada

Today, I finally got the courage to tell my best friend that I've had a crush on him since our junior year. Since I couldn't see him I shot him a text. His response: "Yeah I know. I've tried kind of ignoring it." FML

#299103
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68242) - you deserved it (6480)

On 03/13/2009 at 3:27am - love - by Noname (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my best friend set me up on a blind date with someone he said was very hot. I'm not exactly what you call fit, so I haven't been dating lately. As soon as I got to the restaurant, I spotted the girl. She looked me up and down, said, "You have GOT to be kidding me" and left. FML

#290842
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61686) - you deserved it (6561)

On 03/12/2009 at 8:38pm - love - by tomtomcutiepoof (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to exchange presents for our birthdays. I spent $100 on perfume and Victoria's Secret clothes. She bought me a bag of lifesavers, then asked me to leave because she wanted to take a nap. FML

#274093
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63884) - you deserved it (3842)

On 03/11/2009 at 4:46pm - love - by cdick (man) - United States (Virginia)



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