Today, I realized that in French, my name means "penis." This wouldn't be so bad if my dad wasn't fluent in French. FML

by kiki / 08/05/2010 at 2:24pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, I discovered how my ex-girlfriend exacted her revenge. Every item of clothing I own now has sequins. FML

by Luke / 08/05/2010 at 1:00pm / United Kingdom (West Berkshire) / Love

Today, my boyfriend woke up to the flash of a camera. It was his mother taking pictures of my shoe print on his window sill and night stand. She said she was collecting evidence proving I snuck in through his window last night. FML

by AmNot / 08/05/2010 at 12:38am / United States / Love

Today, I went to the cinema with a girl I like. Knowing she has a bit of a soft spot for me, I was keen to sit in the back row. Too bad her sister tagged along, insisted that we sit somewhere else, and scolded me every time I so much looked at her. I ended up paying for the unwanted guest as well. FML

by drfeelgood93 / 08/04/2010 at 6:14pm / United Kingdom (Devon) / Love

Today, I told my boyfriend I was pregnant. He went outside for a "breather" and never came back. FML

by Alisha Marie / 08/04/2010 at 12:20am / United States (New York) / Love

Today, my fiancé invited his pregnant co-worker for dinner. After we finished eating, he sat down and explained to me that her kid is his and that he's been cheating on me with her for 5 months. She had a smile on her face during the entire thing. FML

by Broken / 08/03/2010 at 8:11am / United Arab Emirates (Abu Dhabi) / Love

Today, the cute guy I met on Halloween finally decided to meet up with me after almost 10 months of phone calls, IM, and emails. He was noticeably disappointed and said I looked different. On Halloween I had full face zombie makeup. FML

by Doubleyew1 / 08/02/2010 at 7:43pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, my girlfriend's father offered her $10 to stop talking to me. I don't have a girlfriend anymore. FML

by hAHAha Halo / 08/02/2010 at 1:55pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Love

Today, my boyfriend decided to visit me at work. With another girl. FML

by ihateumicheal / 08/02/2010 at 11:37am / United States / Love

Today, I pretended to go for a run to impress someone on AIM. FML

by Anonymous / 08/01/2010 at 9:59pm / United States / Love

Today, my boyfriend decided that a good time to have our first kiss was on a roller-coaster, right before a huge drop. He bit through my lip. FML

by jacobscrackers / 08/01/2010 at 2:06pm / United Kingdom (Bracknell Forest) / Love

Today, my boyfriend and I were looking through an old photo album of mine. I turned to a page with a picture of me on my last day of college. I thought the picture was quite nice. He turned to me and said, "Don't worry, I take bad pictures too." FML

by XxHinkaixX / 07/31/2010 at 10:28pm / United States (Missouri) / Love

Today, my boyfriend of one year broke up with me. He's been in jail for the last four months. I paid for his very expensive lawyer. FML

by Beaten / 07/31/2010 at 7:50pm / United States (Alaska) / Love