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Man or woman?

Today, I woke up in a daze after a long night drinking. I felt a subtle nudge on my shoulder. I was at my ex-girlfriends house, passed out on top of her, with no pants on. Her dad was, in so many words, informing me that I had to leave immediately. FML

#3718923
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10961) - you deserved it (52778)

On 07/13/2009 at 3:06pm - love - by Matt (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my friend called to say my boyfriend was at a diner with another woman. I immediately went and caught them in a deep conversation. I slapped him and yelled "Who's this bitch!?" It turns out she's his half sister. FML

#3705241
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8536) - you deserved it (79734)

On 07/13/2009 at 12:28am - love - by Terry (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was at a party at the house of the guy I really like. We were talking when he pulled me into his room. I was excited he was finally taking our friendship to the next level, until he handed me a stick of deodorant, saying "I didn't wanna tell you in the hallway, but you really need this." FML

#3698192
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40605) - you deserved it (19591)

On 07/12/2009 at 8:41pm - love - by Dee (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went on a movie date. During the movie, I picked a small zit on my forehead. Afterwards, at dinner, he couldn't seem to keep his eyes off of my face. I thought he was staring lovingly at me. He was actually staring at a large throbbing zit with a trail of blood coming from it. FML

#3692472
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15924) - you deserved it (59462)

On 07/12/2009 at 2:18pm - love - by Zitty (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I went on a first date with a guy I really hit it off with. Then he admitted that he was a recovering heroin addict and had to cut our date short to go to the methadone clinic. When I got home, I realized that my wallet was missing $40. I think he lied about the "recovering" part. FML

#3689425
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42168) - you deserved it (4475)

On 07/12/2009 at 9:29am - love - by vividrabbit (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I asked the girl I am in love with out on a date. She asked me for my name. FML

#3685752
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47795) - you deserved it (10416)

On 07/12/2009 at 2:45am - love - by nameless (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend called me and he was very upset, crying that he had been betrayed. He then began to explain that his friend had slept with his ex-girlfriend. I asked why he was so upset, and he said he still loved her, and really thought they were going to be able to work things out. FML

#3679896
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58709) - you deserved it (3071)

On 07/11/2009 at 11:18pm - love - by Hopeless (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my best guy friend set me up on a blind date. Almost immediately after the guy and I sat down, he excused himself to make a call. A couple of feet away from our table, I heard him say, "Come on, Justin, this is the best you could do??" Over the phone. Justin is the guy who set us up. FML

#3676766
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44542) - you deserved it (2779)

On 07/11/2009 at 9:19pm - love - by blind_loser (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend of two years proposed to me. Less than two minutes later, he decided he wasn't ready for the commitment. After I had already said yes. FML

#3673670
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50206) - you deserved it (2349)

On 07/11/2009 at 7:11pm - love - by ollie_ollivia (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend wanted to take me to a movie after days of not seeing me. This long awaited date involved me paying for food and my movie ticket when he ran out of cash again. He then dumped me as we left the theater walking to his car. Well, I financed my own breakup date. FML

#3667627
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43867) - you deserved it (4353)

On 07/11/2009 at 2:11pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I worked up the courage to ask my crush out for coffee after work. She agreed and I confidently said "Alright, it's a date!" She replied, "Haha a date with you? I'm just going for the free coffee!" FML

#3650677
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50789) - you deserved it (3861)

On 07/10/2009 at 9:08pm - love - by negromancer - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my wife and I decided to try a relationship book. The first activity was to write down some things your partner does that bothers you. I made a very long list, then my wife and I swapped papers. She'd written, "nothing, I love everything about you." She read my list and began tearing up. FML

#3648052
286 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24790) - you deserved it (65781)

On 07/10/2009 at 7:18pm - love - by failhusband (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I spent most of my morning comforting the guy I love because his fiancée dumped him for some other guy. He continuously told me I had no clue that kind of pain he was in. He dumped me three years ago for the girl that just left him. FML

#3646949
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56753) - you deserved it (8773)

On 07/10/2009 at 6:28pm - love - by Shadowfigure23 (woman) - United States (California)



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