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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I was texting this guy that I really liked. Things were going pretty well. I got a call from his number and excitedly answered it. It was his girlfriend asking if he was bothering me because he likes to text random people when he's drunk. FML

#3171611
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42482) - you deserved it (5007)

On 06/24/2009 at 11:33am - love - by MoxyR12 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my friend said he'd give me 20 bucks if I would ask out the ugliest girl in school. I did it. She rejected me. FML

#3171595
373 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17701) - you deserved it (100561)

On 06/24/2009 at 11:33am - love - by steven (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I ran into my crush of three years ago. We used to always walk our dogs together. He still remembered my dog's name. He didn't remember mine. FML

#3168313
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49049) - you deserved it (3428)

On 06/24/2009 at 6:10am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, my girlfriend was upset, so I tried to cheer her up by telling her how much I love her and how beautiful she is. After a minute, her face started to light up. I thought it had worked until I realized that she was being cheered up by the friends she was talking to online. FML

#3159457
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38221) - you deserved it (3279)

On 06/23/2009 at 10:50pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on, and listening to loud music when she suddenly looked worried and asked if I heard something. I said no and continued. Moments later, three firemen opened the bedroom door and told us to get dressed and go outside because the building was on fire. FML

#3155973
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46521) - you deserved it (8883)

On 06/23/2009 at 8:56pm - love - by Jerf (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my husband and I were getting it on when we heard a little giggle. I put on my robe and looked outside my room to find that no one was there. So we continued. I later called my seven year old son and out he came crawling from under the bed. FML

#3127990
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46859) - you deserved it (10174)

On 06/22/2009 at 7:41pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was in the grocery store getting bananas and there was this real hot guy next to me. He said hey beautiful so I smiled. He then asked if I was free on friday night. I smiled and said "yes why do you ask?" He looked up from the bananas and pointed to the bluetooth in his ear. FML

#3093736
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52642) - you deserved it (14800)

On 06/21/2009 at 3:50pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found out that the love of my life, who I've been going out with for two weeks only, asked me out because he lost a bet. Apparently I'm the punishment for not being able to eat 10 hot dogs. FML

#3053802
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50207) - you deserved it (11318)

On 06/20/2009 at 4:02am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my girlfriend of 2 months found out she was 4 months pregnant with her ex's baby. She told me I could leave her and she wouldn't blame me, but I decided to stay with her. She told me she loved me and then dumped me because she needed to be with her baby's daddy. FML

#3042247
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52624) - you deserved it (6125)

On 06/19/2009 at 9:12pm - love - by thissucks (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found a note on my door that said "You're the sexiest person I've ever stalked". Later, I found another note that said "Sorry, that was meant for your roommate. You aren't my type." Not even a creepy stalker thinks I'm attractive. FML

#3041162
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45464) - you deserved it (3330)

On 06/19/2009 at 8:28pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I looked through my girlfriend's phone book and saw two entries with my name. One had "(cute)" attached to it. I checked to see if it was my number. It wasn't. FML

#3036778
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38689) - you deserved it (4772)

On 06/19/2009 at 5:41pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was browsing my computer to find naked pictures of my ex-girlfriend. I decided it'd be funny to photoshop a penis onto one of the pictures. I'm straight and the new picture turned me on more than before. FML

#3007389
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11776) - you deserved it (59158)

On 06/18/2009 at 7:39pm - love - by AlexK (man) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, I went to the store to buy some groceries. While I was at the store, an employee came up to me and said, "You're beautiful!" When I came home I told my husband what had just happened. My husband then asked, "What was wrong with him?" FML

#2999612
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48606) - you deserved it (4906)

On 06/18/2009 at 3:40pm - love - by Ann (woman) - United States (Nevada)



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