Today, I went to kiss my girlfriend on the neck while she was cooking on the stove. Apparently I scared her and now I have a nice burn mark on my head from the hot frying pan she hit me with. FML

by StayPositive / 11/02/2010 at 8:57pm / United States (Maine) / Love

Today, my fiancé told me it was a mistake to propose to me. FML

by secret / 11/02/2010 at 3:11pm / United States (Nebraska) / Love

Today, my boyfriend told me that if he was to break up with me, he would do it in a crowded location so I couldn't start to cry or make a scene. FML

by Anonymous / 11/02/2010 at 8:11am / Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg) / Love

Today, I discovered that the upside of losing weight is that men have started hitting on me. The downside? They're all twice my age. FML

by stillyoung / 11/02/2010 at 2:50am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, my dad, who lives hours away, called and told me he was getting married. Today. As in this evening. Guess I'm not invited. FML

by Googlebug / 11/01/2010 at 6:15am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, my boyfriend borrowed my Jane Norman dress to wear to a Halloween party. He got hammered, threw up all over it, and fell unconscious on the shower floor. FML

by Anonymous / 10/31/2010 at 2:25pm / United Kingdom / Love

Today, my boyfriend, who is a great cook, decided to try his hand at baking. The cookies he made looked weird but tasted good. I jokingly said, "They taste great, but they look awful!" He responded by saying, "I could say the same thing about you." FML

by yummy(: / 10/30/2010 at 10:14pm / United States (Tennessee) / Love

Today, while my boyfriend and I were fighting in the car, I paused to take a bite of my burrito. Just at that moment, he slammed on the brakes, causing me to deepthroat my burrito. I threw up all over myself. He won the argument. FML

by serendipity1027 / 10/30/2010 at 9:40am / Love

Today, my mother got remarried. I am now officially older than my step-father. FML

by Stephie2009 / 10/30/2010 at 2:33am / United States / Love

Today, I went to see Paranormal Activity 2 with my boyfriend. In hopes of him putting his arm around me or holding my hand, I told him that I was very scared and pretended to cry a little. He told me to be quiet because I was ruining the movie for him. Then he moved seats. FML

by Samantha / 10/30/2010 at 1:41am / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, my own boyfriend admitted that he can't name one single thing he likes about me without naming something "physical." FML

by Anonymous / 10/29/2010 at 9:23pm / United States (Minnesota) / Love

Today, I sent the girl I like a Twinkie with a note saying "Enjoy! You deserve it". I found out later through an angry email that someone had written "you damn fatty" on the end of the note. FML

by Anonymous / 10/29/2010 at 7:53pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I finally mustered up the guts to ask this girl I like to dinner and a movie. She agreed on the terms that she could bring someone, and I'd said it wouldn't be a problem. When I met up with her a few hours later, I found out she'd brought her boyfriend. FML

by Mal / 10/29/2010 at 4:02pm / United States (Illinois) / Love