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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I went to TGI Friday's with my crush. At the end of our meal, the waitress gave us mints with the bill. He said something that made me laugh, and I began choking on my mint. After a few coughs, I finally managed to get it out. It hit him in the forehead and landed in his drink. FML

#3811943
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40636) - you deserved it (4824)

On 07/16/2009 at 8:05pm - love - by CityGirl (woman) - United States (Alaska)

Today, my boyfriend of a year broke up with me because "god told him to." What god didn't tell him was that I would check his e-mail and find all the e-mails to and from his new girlfriend. FML

#3797980
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45472) - you deserved it (5598)

On 07/16/2009 at 9:44am - love - by hrtbrkn (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my wife gave me back my camera which she took on vacation to visit her parents with our 2-year old. I noticed the picture sequence had big gaps in the numbering. I ran an undelete on the card, and found 80+ pictures of her naked with another guy in her mom's bedroom. FML

#3792104
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (91326) - you deserved it (4661)

On 07/16/2009 at 1:51am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I were chatting on MSN. He had to go run down to the corner market but left his webcam on. Shortly after he left I watched his mother steal 60 dollars out of his wallet. He doesn't believe me. FML

#3764935
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47545) - you deserved it (2953)

On 07/15/2009 at 1:04am - love - by wtf (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was going to break up with my boyfriend after we went out for dinner. To my surprise, our families were also in the restaurant, to witness him propose to me. FML

#3763023
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53446) - you deserved it (12820)

On 07/15/2009 at 12:01am - love - by Stuck (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I didn't call her in the last few days. I tried to explain to her that I was out at my grandfather's house in a remote place with no cell service to stand by him on his death bed. She thought I was making excuses and called me a lying bastard. FML

#3759649
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52449) - you deserved it (4041)

On 07/14/2009 at 10:17pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I spend two hours inside a bar talking about how I never worry about my boyfriend cheating on me when he travels for work. Everyone told me I was lucky to have such a great relationship. When we all decided to go out on the patio for a smoke, we saw him making out with someone else. FML

#3723359
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55155) - you deserved it (9501)

On 07/13/2009 at 6:09pm - love - by sykotoaster (man) - United States

Today, I proposed to a girl I'd been in love with for 6 years. I filled the balcony of the building where I'd first laid eyes on her with innumerable roses and, under the starlit sky, I did it. She later posted on facebook 'OMG. This geek I knew from high school did the FUNNIEST thing today'. FML

#3720470
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56735) - you deserved it (29571)

On 07/13/2009 at 4:16pm - love - by JackOLantern (man) - Satellite Provider

Today, I woke up in a daze after a long night drinking. I felt a subtle nudge on my shoulder. I was at my ex-girlfriends house, passed out on top of her, with no pants on. Her dad was, in so many words, informing me that I had to leave immediately. FML

#3718923
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10944) - you deserved it (52743)

On 07/13/2009 at 3:06pm - love - by Matt (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my friend called to say my boyfriend was at a diner with another woman. I immediately went and caught them in a deep conversation. I slapped him and yelled "Who's this bitch!?" It turns out she's his half sister. FML

#3705241
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8521) - you deserved it (79683)

On 07/13/2009 at 12:28am - love - by Terry (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was at a party at the house of the guy I really like. We were talking when he pulled me into his room. I was excited he was finally taking our friendship to the next level, until he handed me a stick of deodorant, saying "I didn't wanna tell you in the hallway, but you really need this." FML

#3698192
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40556) - you deserved it (19568)

On 07/12/2009 at 8:41pm - love - by Dee (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went on a movie date. During the movie, I picked a small zit on my forehead. Afterwards, at dinner, he couldn't seem to keep his eyes off of my face. I thought he was staring lovingly at me. He was actually staring at a large throbbing zit with a trail of blood coming from it. FML

#3692472
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15903) - you deserved it (59427)

On 07/12/2009 at 2:18pm - love - by Zitty (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I went on a first date with a guy I really hit it off with. Then he admitted that he was a recovering heroin addict and had to cut our date short to go to the methadone clinic. When I got home, I realized that my wallet was missing $40. I think he lied about the "recovering" part. FML

#3689425
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42104) - you deserved it (4468)

On 07/12/2009 at 9:29am - love - by vividrabbit (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)



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