Today, my boyfriend admitted that he finds his car more attractive than me. FML

by yup okay / 08/19/2010 at 11:28am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, my wife put divorce papers in my birthday card. FML

by divorced / 08/19/2010 at 6:01am / United States (Tennessee) / Love

Today, I found out my husband put a parental block on the TV so I couldn't rent a movie. I'm 42. FML

by mylifeblows / 08/19/2010 at 2:15am / United States (Arizona) / Love

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He also decided the best way to end our relationship was to kill me and our virtual child on The Sims 3 by setting us on fire. FML

by Single / 08/19/2010 at 1:26am / United States (California) / Love

Today, while casually sitting at a bar, a drunk biker with no teeth leaned over and tried to kiss me. I'm a sailor in the Navy, but I think I screamed like a little girl. FML

by dentallycorrect / 08/19/2010 at 1:16am / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I was invited to a party, but I didn't attend because my boyfriend would be disappointed with me. Instead, I spent the night with him watching movies. At the end of the night, he broke up with me because I wasn't fun enough. FML

by Funless / 08/18/2010 at 12:52pm / United States (Iowa) / Love

Today, I ran into my boyfriend at the mall, the same boyfriend that told me he was taking a family vacation to Mexico. FML

by tina / 08/17/2010 at 8:30am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I was on my third date with this really cute girl. After a very romantic evening, I decided to go for the first kiss, but because of my nervous reflex in which I get bloody noses, I ended up bleeding all over her face. FML

by Anonymous / 08/17/2010 at 3:10am / United States (Utah) / Love

Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML

by Anonymous / 08/16/2010 at 4:20pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, my friends were all sharing sweet things their boyfriends had shared with them. After hearing "he says I look pretty without makeup" or "he promises we'll get married one day", I realized that the only compliment he's given me is that my laughter "sounds like a squirrel having a seizure." FML

by 86145 / 08/16/2010 at 1:03am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, right after I turned down an amazing job opportunity in another location, just so I could be with him. FML

by crystalpistol / 08/15/2010 at 10:15pm / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, I found out that my overprotective parents hired a private investigator a month ago, who since then has been watching my perfectly normal boyfriend, in case he "tries to rape or kill" me. We're both 25 years old. FML

by wtf / 08/15/2010 at 8:52am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, one of my mum's dinner guests walked in on me and my boyfriend kissing, only to let out a horrified scream. Apparently my mum had introduced my boyfriend as her son, as she is embarrassed of my real brother. FML

by incestastic / 08/14/2010 at 7:23pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love