Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, my best guy friend set me up on a blind date. Almost immediately after the guy and I sat down, he excused himself to make a call. A couple of feet away from our table, I heard him say, "Come on, Justin, this is the best you could do??" Over the phone. Justin is the guy who set us up. FML

#3676766
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44348) - you deserved it (2764)

On 07/11/2009 at 9:19pm - love - by blind_loser (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend of two years proposed to me. Less than two minutes later, he decided he wasn't ready for the commitment. After I had already said yes. FML

#3673670
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49310) - you deserved it (2271)

On 07/11/2009 at 7:11pm - love - by ollie_ollivia (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend wanted to take me to a movie after days of not seeing me. This long awaited date involved me paying for food and my movie ticket when he ran out of cash again. He then dumped me as we left the theater walking to his car. Well, I financed my own breakup date. FML

#3667627
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43675) - you deserved it (4341)

On 07/11/2009 at 2:11pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I worked up the courage to ask my crush out for coffee after work. She agreed and I confidently said "Alright, it's a date!" She replied, "Haha a date with you? I'm just going for the free coffee!" FML

#3650677
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50008) - you deserved it (3804)

On 07/10/2009 at 9:08pm - love - by negromancer - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my wife and I decided to try a relationship book. The first activity was to write down some things your partner does that bothers you. I made a very long list, then my wife and I swapped papers. She'd written, "nothing, I love everything about you." She read my list and began tearing up. FML

#3648052
286 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24683) - you deserved it (65582)

On 07/10/2009 at 7:18pm - love - by failhusband (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I spent most of my morning comforting the guy I love because his fiancée dumped him for some other guy. He continuously told me I had no clue that kind of pain he was in. He dumped me three years ago for the girl that just left him. FML

#3646949
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56483) - you deserved it (8739)

On 07/10/2009 at 6:28pm - love - by Shadowfigure23 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I paid $80 to change my cell number because my ex-girlfriend had been stalking me. To inform all of my friends of the change, I sent a mass text message to everyone in my phonebook. Including my ex. FML

#3642198
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11219) - you deserved it (75216)

On 07/10/2009 at 3:15pm - love - by Blackberry (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend called me to break up with me. Immediately after we hung up, I started crying hysterically. I thought I dialed my best friend, and as soon as the line picked up, I yelled, "That motherfucker broke up with me!" My now ex-boyfriend replied, "Yeah, I know I did." FML

#3641578
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43577) - you deserved it (18446)

On 07/10/2009 at 2:47pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my husband gave me an ultimatum - choose him or my male best friend. I chose my husband. My husband then admitted to me that he was hoping I would choose my best friend so he would have an excuse to leave me and wouldn't have to tell me he's been cheating on me. FML

#3634399
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64171) - you deserved it (3961)

On 07/10/2009 at 5:21am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me in my front yard. As I stormed off in my dramatic exit, I realized I had locked myself outside. I had to ask my now ex-boyfriend to borrow his phone so I could call my mom. FML

#3627701
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35356) - you deserved it (8621)

On 07/10/2009 at 12:12am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boyfriend of 5 years admitted why his pet name for me is "his beautiful swan". Apparently, the first few years we were dating, he and his friends secretly referred to me as "the ugly duckling" because my sister was so much hotter. FML

#3611862
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53043) - you deserved it (3108)

On 07/09/2009 at 1:50pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, it was my birthday, and my boyfriend got surgery on his gallbladder because he had big gallstones. After they were removed, he was still a little out of it from the morphine. He gave the gallstones to me for my birthday. Better still, his mom suggested I make a necklace out of them. FML

#3603411
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48212) - you deserved it (3342)

On 07/09/2009 at 3:02am - love - by gallstones (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my suburban, white boyfriend of two years told me he wanted to tell me something serious. He sat me down, looked me in the eye and said "I want to be gangster." I started laughing thinking he was joking. He was 100% serious. FML

#3600725
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59192) - you deserved it (7111)

On 07/09/2009 at 1:17am - love - by hatboxghost (man) - United States



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: