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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I looked through my girlfriend's phone book and saw two entries with my name. One had "(cute)" attached to it. I checked to see if it was my number. It wasn't. FML

#3036778
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36264) - you deserved it (4527)

On 06/19/2009 at 5:41pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was browsing my computer to find naked pictures of my ex-girlfriend. I decided it'd be funny to photoshop a penis onto one of the pictures. I'm straight and the new picture turned me on more than before. FML

#3007389
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11151) - you deserved it (57816)

On 06/18/2009 at 7:39pm - love - by AlexK (man) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, I went to the store to buy some groceries. While I was at the store, an employee came up to me and said, "You're beautiful!" When I came home I told my husband what had just happened. My husband then asked, "What was wrong with him?" FML

#2999612
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45338) - you deserved it (4594)

On 06/18/2009 at 3:40pm - love - by Ann (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, after a month of planning, I started to tease my boyfriend of 3 years about the wonderful anniversary plans I had made for us. It was a secret, so I let him try and guess. He said "As long as its not a spa day. that would suck I would never go." It's a spa day. That I've already paid for. FML

#2997595
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35527) - you deserved it (22994)

On 06/18/2009 at 2:34pm - love - by Lvdkinda (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me telling me I have problems communicating and that I didn't understand her. When I asked her why she didn't talk to me about this before she said "I didn't want to talk about it." FML

#2987293
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44266) - you deserved it (2342)

On 06/18/2009 at 3:24am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was invited out to a date by my ex-boyfriend. He seemed really excited to reconnect and kept holding my hand and complimenting how I looked. Out of nowhere a girl runs up to him screaming. It was his current girlfriend, he was using me to make her jealous. FML

#2983603
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43475) - you deserved it (5581)

On 06/18/2009 at 12:52am - love - by savvylady (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I took home my grandpa's ashes. I then went out with my grandma, leaving my 5-year-old at home with my 12-year-old. When I got home, my beaming 5-year-old opened the door, covered in white powder. My grandmother asked where all the powder had come from. She pointed to the empty ashbox. FML

#2980433
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39968) - you deserved it (14749)

On 06/17/2009 at 10:40pm - love - by fcnk (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was dropping my new boyfriend off at his house. I had never been there before, so he was giving me directions as I drove. We passed a small trailer home on the right. I commented without thinking, "I'm so glad I don't live in a house like that." My boyfriend told me to turn right. FML

#2973939
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9099) - you deserved it (57761)

On 06/17/2009 at 6:08pm - love - by emix (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I finished the run for a play in which I played a gay man. Now that all the performances are over, I have kissed a man more times in my life than I have kissed a woman. I'm straight. FML

#2963863
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42079) - you deserved it (7221)

On 06/17/2009 at 10:06am - love - by yashmoshin1 (man) - United States

Today, I asked out this girl I've been spending a lot of time with lately. She told me she was only hanging out with me because she thought I was gay and wouldn't try to get in her pants. FML

#2953608
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40347) - you deserved it (4055)

On 06/16/2009 at 8:59pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I stepped outside to wait for a cute guy to arrive after arduously preparing for our first date. Just as he rounded the corner, I tripped over the last stair and landed headfirst into my mom's fresh pot of snapdragons. My mom uses compost and manure for her plants. FML

#2934855
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36140) - you deserved it (4163)

On 06/16/2009 at 5:13am - love - by flowerfail (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, we had our divorce hearing and now it is final. As we were leaving the courthouse, I told my ex-wife how happy I was that we were finally free from each other. Then my junky old van wouldn't start and I had to beg her for a ride home. FML

#2929763
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12484) - you deserved it (60458)

On 06/16/2009 at 12:35am - love - by Aerostar (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I went on a date with this guy and he was on his phone the whole night. When I got home I checked his facebook since he barely paid attention to me. His status was, "So-and-so is taking out the trash" from mobile posted an hour ago. I got home from my date 30 mins ago. FML

#2920786
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34125) - you deserved it (3112)

On 06/15/2009 at 7:57pm - love - by skreweduP (woman) - United States



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