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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I lost a bet with my girlfriend. I now have to wear a shirt saying "Worlds Smallest Penis" everywhere I go for a month. FML

#4627317
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18525) - you deserved it (61711)

On 08/18/2009 at 12:34pm - love - by badtimingdude (man) - Mauritius

Today, my boyfriend and I went on our 2nd date. We decided to get to know each other with a game. I asked him what makes him nervous. He said "talking to really attractive girls." I then asked him if I was making him nervous. He said no. FML

#4627124
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43519) - you deserved it (14299)

On 08/18/2009 at 12:25pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I finally worked up the nerve to text the girl I've had a crush on to ask her on a date. I got back the reply, "Error message 3265: Number No Longer In Swrvice." Not only can she not spell, when I looked it up, "error 3265" doesn't even exist. FML

#4606159
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70194) - you deserved it (8178)

On 08/17/2009 at 5:41pm - love - by ZSL (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to the movies with my boyfriend. We went inside the theatre and he saw a couple of his friends. Instead of saying hi and coming back to watch the movie with me, he ditched me for them. When I reminded him he was forgetting something, he grabbed the popcorn out of my hands and left. FML

#4603530
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52504) - you deserved it (5471)

On 08/17/2009 at 3:49pm - love - by ditched (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went with my girlfriend to her ex-boyfriend's house party. She got incredibly drunk and I spent the whole night looking after her when she was throwing up. In the brief moment before she passed out she said "thanks Matt, you're a great boyfriend." Matt is her ex. FML

#4600663
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44745) - you deserved it (5413)

On 08/17/2009 at 1:43pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I tried to propose to my girlfriend of 5 years. I love her so much and I've been treating her extremely well. Before I could pop the question, she said in these exact words: "Babe, our relationship is like a drunken night. Fun while it lasted but its something I'd rather forget." FML

#4595974
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57392) - you deserved it (3131)

On 08/17/2009 at 8:04am - love - by singleandheartbroken (man) - Australia (Victoria)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boyfriend was fired. After breaking the news, he also broke up with me. Apparently, his boss had a creepy crush on me and would give my boyfriend bonuses for bringing me to company events and, occasionally, out on the boss's personal boat. Looks like I am no longer useful. FML

#4591074
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48285) - you deserved it (2784)

On 08/17/2009 at 1:43am - love - by TrophyGirlfriend (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend named my penis "little baby carrot." FML

#4572721
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56957) - you deserved it (9875)

On 08/16/2009 at 1:14pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I finished writing the most perfect love letter for this girl at summer school. At the end of the letter I signed: Your secret admirer. Cute, right? Not really. Turns out I was so anxious to finish the letter that I ended up writing my name at the bottom. FML

#4563913
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10556) - you deserved it (48460)

On 08/16/2009 at 1:17am - love - by footyfallout (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was planning on asking out a girl I've been really close to for a few months now. I was with her when I got a forward text from my friend. It was from the girl and it said "noooo tell him not to ask me out I don't like him." I got rejected via forward text before I told her how I felt. FML

#4562834
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35779) - you deserved it (2681)

On 08/16/2009 at 12:33am - love - by Tgreject (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, on my wedding day, when they said "you may kiss the bride", I swung my wife over in the romantic fashion and went in for the kiss. Unfortunately my hands were sweaty as I was nervous and she slipped under my grip. She fell and was knocked unconscious in front of hundreds of people. FML

#4543711
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46704) - you deserved it (17563)

On 08/15/2009 at 3:50am - love - by slipperyhands (man) - United States (California)

Today, my 250 pound boyfriend was on top of me while we were making out. I actually passed out in the middle of it from not being able to breathe. FML

#4541941
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48037) - you deserved it (21112)

On 08/15/2009 at 2:13am - love - by Squashed (woman) - United States

Today, I got dumped by my girlfriend of 4 years because I didn't know the exact amount of days that we'd been together. FML

#4541155
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57967) - you deserved it (6329)

On 08/15/2009 at 1:30am - love - by fmexgirlfriend (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)



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