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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, my boyfriend of three years sent me several flowers and chocolate boxes to my office. It ends up that he cheated on me with my sister and tried to break the news to me after all the presents he sent. I thought he actually remembered our anniversary this year. FML

#5182605
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41759) - you deserved it (2392)

On 09/11/2009 at 2:35am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were fooling around in his car when things got hot and heavy and we decided to climb in the back. After we finished we started to put our clothes back just as a someone's brights flooded into the car. It was a cop, and he had been there the entire time. FML

#5180905
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12310) - you deserved it (36013)

On 09/11/2009 at 12:23am - love - by suzanneallen (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was walking with my very attractive friend who I like a lot. She then told me that her roomate wouldn't be home tonight, and if I wanted, I could come over and study history. I didn't get it. I told her no thanks, that I was covered, and it was chem I needed to study. An hour later, I understood. FML

#5173603
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12528) - you deserved it (69318)

On 09/10/2009 at 7:17pm - love - by itisthedude (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my girlfriend of 3 years told me that I was part of an experiment for her Sociology doctorate. I also learned that the notebooks she's been writing in for the past three years aren't for her "doctorate in literature" as she had told me, they were notes on my behavior for the past 3 years. FML

#5166110
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49017) - you deserved it (3111)

On 09/10/2009 at 9:37am - love - by Dave (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me because I hadn't popped the question to her yet. For the last six months, I have been respectfully trying to convince her over protective father to give me his blessing. FML

#5154166
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41658) - you deserved it (4391)

On 09/09/2009 at 7:11pm - love - by K-9cop (man) - United States

Today, I hired a private investigator to find out if my wife of 15 years is cheating on me with my brother. I don't know what's worse, that she is cheating on me, or that instead of cheating with my brother she's cheating with my brother's wife. FML

#5151842
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54678) - you deserved it (4977)

On 09/09/2009 at 5:20pm - love - by nick2.0 (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, we went to the mall and my husband picked me out some perfume. When I asked him why he liked that particular one he responded with, "that's what's the stripper at my bachelor party was wearing." He was completely serious. FML

#5150637
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35870) - you deserved it (3660)

On 09/09/2009 at 4:16pm - love - by m - United States

Today, I found out why my husband had wanted to wait until marriage to get it on. Last night was the first night of our honeymoon, and he informed me that he wasn't always Ben, but used to be Brenda. His 'penis' doesn't work and he had wanted to know I "truly loved him" before he had let me know. FML

#5148313
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (181086) - you deserved it (18910)

On 09/09/2009 at 1:21pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my girlfriend of over a year broke up with me. Two weeks ago she complained that I didn't act like I really loved her. I then became more involved and caring just for her to show my love. The reason she broke up with me? Because I was "suffocating her with clinginess." FML

#5144456
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37155) - you deserved it (4202)

On 09/09/2009 at 4:57am - love - by clingmaster (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was sitting with my boyfriend watching the Super Nanny. He watches the show regularly and said he has learned some of her techniques. Apparently, he uses them on me when I'm acting irrational. FML

#5124739
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11051) - you deserved it (42990)

On 09/08/2009 at 10:04am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I spent hours consoling my girlfriend for getting dumped by the guy she was cheating on me with. FML

#5124019
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27421) - you deserved it (71999)

On 09/08/2009 at 8:29am - love - by nitwit (man) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, it was raining. I was out walking with my girlfriend, and decided it would be cute if we did a bit of dancing in the rain. As I was swinging her around, I swung her head against a lamp post. She broke up with me. FML

#5123353
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38882) - you deserved it (18901)

On 09/08/2009 at 6:46am - love - by Charlie (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I met a nice girl and decided to ask her out. Later on she showed me a picture of her with her family, she was wearing red and everyone else black. I said jokingly "you look like the adopted child" only to find out that her had parents died and she was indeed adopted. FML

#5122351
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14940) - you deserved it (36170)

On 09/08/2009 at 3:11am - love - by WanstinChurchHill (man) - United States (California)



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