Today, my sister and I were both on Facebook, updating our statuses. I set mine to "just got released from hospital with Baby Lily", as I'd had a baby earlier this week. My sister set hers to "menstrual blood smells like shrimp". Her status got 37 likes. Mine got none. FML

by married / 10/16/2010 at 8:31am / United States (Connecticut) / Love

Today, I was having a romantic conversation with my boyfriend under the stars. He said, "You know how there are people who are beautiful on the inside and people who are beautiful on the outside? Yeah, well you're one of those 'inside' people." FML

by Annie / 10/16/2010 at 4:20am / India (Maharashtra) / Love

Today, I was on an airplane that was experiencing some turbulence. Feeling anxious, I reached over and grabbed my husband's hand for comfort. He then said, "Why are you scared of dying? You're not even pretty." FML

by Anonymous / 10/16/2010 at 2:44am / United States (California) / Love

Today, my boyfriend informed me that since he's doing a project with a girl in his class and carpooling with her in the morning, she'll be sleeping over at his house. FML

by Anonymous / 10/15/2010 at 3:10pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, I met a guy that I liked. We really hit it off, that is until his parents walked by and he started begging them, down on his hands and knees, to buy him a new video game. FML

by lilshoobydoo14 / 10/15/2010 at 12:18am / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I realized it is now considered normal and routine that my boyfriend wets the bed after a night of drinking. FML

by Casey / 10/14/2010 at 2:20pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, after a small fight with my girlfriend, I started to miss her, so I typed her name into Google on a whim. Surprisingly, I find a link to a blog in which the owner describes his ongoing effort to seduce my girl. During times she told me she was alone. Thanks babe. FML

by Anon / 10/14/2010 at 4:00am / United States (California) / Love

Today, my crush walked me home. As my mom opens the door, she tells me in Russian how ugly he is, and that I have extremely bad taste. Out of all the languages in the world, he happens to be fluent in Russian. FML

by Anonymous / 10/13/2010 at 10:45am / Brunei Darussalam / Love

Today, my girlfriend and I went out for ice cream. We somehow started talking about which of our relatives had died. Right when she was talking about how her grandfather had died, I started laughing. She had gotten ice cream all over her face. She broke up with me. FML

by your mother / 10/13/2010 at 5:02am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I rang my girlfriend to make sure she made it home alright. She told me to check my facebook. Nothing was different so I hit refresh. We were no longer in a relationship. I got dumped via facebook whilst on the phone to her. FML

by failure / 10/13/2010 at 2:18am / Australia (Victoria) / Love

Today, my boyfriend brought me home flowers and candy for the first time in our 1 year relationship. Thinking he was going to finally propose, I got excited. I asked why he was being so sweet, and he responded with, "I thought you'd take the breakup better this way." FML

by lovelesslonely / 10/12/2010 at 1:48pm / United States (Alabama) / Love

Today, I finally got the courage to tell the guy I liked how I felt by making him a mixed CD. Confident, I gave it to him. After class, I went to the trash can to throw some paper away. I saw my mixed CD in the trash. FML

by Anonymous / 10/12/2010 at 1:04am / United States / Love

Today, I bought a personalized cookie cake with "Will you go out with me?" for the girl I've liked for five months. When I showed her, she said no, but took the cake with her anyway. FML

by soccerlove09 / 10/11/2010 at 2:18pm / United States (Arizona) / Love