Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, my roommate brought a kitten to the apartment. I hate cats, and probably sensing this, the thing clawed me right in the crotch. I of course am not going to say a thing because I happen to be in love with my roommate, but she has no clue how much I hate this thing. FML

#8621697
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14026) - you deserved it (26382)

On 02/24/2010 at 7:29pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (South Dakota)

Today, I realised my girlfriend is the perfect woman for most men. She only ever talks to me in the intermissions on Modern Warfare 2; shame it's not me playing. FML

#8614078
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26924) - you deserved it (6079)

On 02/24/2010 at 12:27pm - love - by sadf4x0r (man) - United Kingdom (Kirklees)

Today, my girlfriend of 3 years left me for a guy whose favorite color is camouflage. FML

#8612745
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38897) - you deserved it (5546)

On 02/24/2010 at 10:29am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend was crying. I asked her what was wrong, and she said her husband was going to divorce her for seeing me. FML

#8590845
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42829) - you deserved it (6473)

On 02/23/2010 at 4:13pm - love - by Pip (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend started a fake argument and pretended to be mad at me for four days, which was almost enough time for the gigantic hickey that my best friend gave her on her neck to heal. FML

#8588296
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40972) - you deserved it (2300)

On 02/23/2010 at 1:57pm - love - by mrniceguy - United States

Today, on Facebook, I joined a group called "I want our relationship to last." My boyfriend commented "I don't." FML

#8586322
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32877) - you deserved it (6517)

On 02/23/2010 at 11:28am - love - by kal (woman) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, someone gave me a note to pass along to a girl in class. The note had the girl's name surrounded by hearts. When I gave it to her, she assumed it was a love note from me, and said "Not in a million years, fat ass" before I could say it was from someone else. FML

#8568837
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34756) - you deserved it (3410)

On 02/22/2010 at 9:46pm - love - by Crappyfayman (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, a guy I'd been seeing off and on for the past three years broke things off over a Facebook message. I replied, and told him that I was at least worth a phone call. He replied "Well, I'm sorry, I disagree." FML

#8563536
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27034) - you deserved it (4445)

On 02/22/2010 at 7:53pm - love - by notworthit (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went on a date with a guy that I have been crushing on for 2 years. At the end of the date he tells me that he is moving away and as his going away present, I could pay for dinner. FML

#8547609
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30224) - you deserved it (2892)

On 02/22/2010 at 6:28am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that my most amazing spring break ever, will be spent stuck on a ship with my ex. It's been almost two years, and he still isn't over me. Yay. This cruise shall be fun. FML

#8542819
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23896) - you deserved it (5880)

On 02/22/2010 at 1:31am - love - by nomoresbfun (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had one of the worst first dates of my life. After leaving the restaurant early, we went to a party to try and salvage the night. My date then got wasted, ended up puking in the back seat of my car on the way home, then lied about it. My night ended with me cleaning vomit out of my car. FML

#8540042
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25848) - you deserved it (3604)

On 02/22/2010 at 12:17am - love - by shwasted (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my best friend had set me up on a blind date. The guy demonstrated at length that he could do different cartoon voices such as Donald Duck, Droopy and many others the entire time. Oh, and he also kept wanting to talk about his farts. FML

#8529668
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27818) - you deserved it (3396)

On 02/21/2010 at 9:12pm - love - by Court - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was checking out a gorgeous woman in spandex with beautiful flowing long black hair on the treadmill at the gym. I spent a few minutes just watching her body move and ripple under the material. She turned off the treadmill and got off, only for me to find out that it was a guy. FML

#8512491
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12054) - you deserved it (42983)

On 02/21/2010 at 10:16am - love - by anonymous - United States



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: