Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I worked at my job at an amusement park at one of the roller coasters. I have to go around and make sure that every seat belt is around the passenger. I saw my boyfriend in a seat and ran over to say hi. I saw a girl next to him. I had to strap down my cheating boyfriend and the new girl. FML

#4405208
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59396) - you deserved it (3352)

On 08/09/2009 at 9:27am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had a girl come over to my house that I had been texting for four days. I asked her what she wanted to do and she replied "take a nap". Becoming really excited I lead her to my bedroom and went to the hiding spot for my condoms, she was serious about the nap. FML

#4404906
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10232) - you deserved it (57095)

On 08/09/2009 at 8:43am - love - by hugedissapointment (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I flew my girlfriend to Paris for our one year anniversary. Little did I know that instead of going up the Eiffel Tower and over looking the most romantic city she would rather spend it in bed with a French man. FML

#4380859
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51523) - you deserved it (4372)

On 08/08/2009 at 5:42am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Bolton)

Today, I saw my girlfriend going into my best friend's dorm room and suspected her to cheat on me so I placed a camera in his room to spy on them. In the end, I discovered that my girlfriend has problems in math and both my best friend and brother are gay. FML

#4379475
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17277) - you deserved it (74835)

On 08/08/2009 at 3:18am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I met a hot guy at a club and we really hit it off. We went back to his place and we got down to business. After, I noticed he had an iPod Touch on his nightstand. I complimented him on it and he responded with, "Yeah, my girlfriend gave it to me as an anniversary present." FML

#4360788
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18078) - you deserved it (51194)

On 08/07/2009 at 1:09pm - love - by accidentalslut (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went out drinking with a female friend I've been crushing on for a while now. After we'd been talking and had a few, She said 'Man, I haven't gotten laid in months! Do you mind?'. Surprised but hopeful, I nodded. She leaned over, hugged me, and went to hit on a guy at the bar. FML

#4356438
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43314) - you deserved it (4674)

On 08/07/2009 at 5:43am - love - by ineedanotherdrink (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had a seizure at my boyfriend's. The second I began to seize, he cursed and picked me up, dropping me on the floor complaining "Now I have to clean the damn couch." I had urinated because I had no control over my body. The couch is still stained. He dumped me for ruining his furniture. FML

#4356105
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84075) - you deserved it (6792)

On 08/07/2009 at 4:55am - love - by notsomuchinlove (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was getting it on with a girl I've been talking to for three months. She's a year younger than me and it was her first time. So, I went easy. After five minutes she started crying. When I asked her what was wrong, she said I remind her of her dad. FML

#4346574
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72889) - you deserved it (6655)

On 08/06/2009 at 10:03pm - love - by Jeremy (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, a very good friend of mine said he had a question to ask me. Jokingly, I threw my arms around his neck and said, "Oh yes, yes, a thousand times yes!" When I sat back down, I saw tears in his eyes, and he said, "You've made me the happiest man alive" as he pulled a small box out of his coat. FML

#4340185
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26221) - you deserved it (96421)

On 08/06/2009 at 5:25pm - love - by dundundadumb (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up with a black eye. Why? My husband was having a dream where he was fighting somebody and wound up punching me in the face in his sleep. I had a very important job interview this morning. FML

#4337327
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42649) - you deserved it (2550)

On 08/06/2009 at 3:22pm - love - by DravensMommy (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I punched my wife in the face, because she jumped out from behind the bedroom door in the dark. I'm afraid of the dark. I'm 21. FML

#4328474
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24644) - you deserved it (38117)

On 08/06/2009 at 3:58am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I walked out to my car to see a broken window, a bunch of stuff missing, egg shells, and a note that read "stop banging my boyfriend". I haven't had anyone in over a year. FML

#4325647
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54631) - you deserved it (2624)

On 08/06/2009 at 1:28am - love - by gkline09 - United States

Today, I went with my fiancé to meet his parents. He was really sweet the whole way there, and once we got there he introduced me as 'the girl I'm going to marry'. His parents took one look at me and said, "Are you sure?" I laughed, because I thought they were joking. They weren't. FML

#4309429
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44953) - you deserved it (2727)

On 08/05/2009 at 2:17pm - love - by kelizabeth (woman) - United States (Kansas)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: