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Man or woman?

Today, I was walking out of a bar when someone grabbed me by the throat, and slammed me against a wall, saying "Stop fooling around with my wife, because next time - I'll kill you." I'm gay and haven't been with a woman since 1985. FML

#4810431
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60180) - you deserved it (6349)

On 08/25/2009 at 1:09pm - love - by Jeff (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my mother was cleaning out my underwear drawer and found my vibrator. Everytime I see her in the hall, she just cracks up and makes jokes about how I can't get a guy, so I have to rely on electronics. What's worse, she told my dad AND posted a status on facebook about it. FML

#4809359
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64522) - you deserved it (9423)

On 08/25/2009 at 12:04pm - love - by Sarah (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my friends and I went out drinking, and luckily enough, the guy I have had a crush on for four years now was there. I tried to get drunk so that I can make a move and blame it on the alcohol. I went in to whisper my confession in his ear... only to puke on him. FML

#4808009
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9472) - you deserved it (61492)

On 08/25/2009 at 10:17am - love - by sickened (woman) - Philippines (Rizal)

Today, I quit my job that my girlfriend and I worked together at. Fellow employees are not allowed to date one another and I said it would be ok if I was the one to leave. When I got home to her and told her that I quit, she decided to break up with me. I now have no job and no girlfriend. FML

#4807185
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39070) - you deserved it (11307)

On 08/25/2009 at 8:54am - love - by kalazoo21 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling after getting it on a few times. He holds my face in his hands, looks deep into my eyes and says "I smell chicken." FML

#4799049
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32842) - you deserved it (5556)

On 08/24/2009 at 11:34pm - love - by isoheartcaitlin (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was flirting with this guy that had been forced to be my lab partner for class. He was really funny and attractive, too. In the middle of our conversation he said "You're so cute! You remind me of my boyfriend!" FML

#4789258
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41155) - you deserved it (6791)

On 08/24/2009 at 5:27pm - love - by NotCuteEnough (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I almost got married. After the elaborate and very expensive wedding, my "husband" decided he did not want to sign the marriage license because he wasn't sure if he really wanted to settle down after all. FML

#4775370
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44843) - you deserved it (3052)

On 08/24/2009 at 1:16am - love - by singleagain (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my mother and father are insisting that I go on a date with a German exchange student they met on the weekend. Why? Because we have similar glasses. FML

#4756987
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31964) - you deserved it (3400)

On 08/23/2009 at 9:29am - love - by Foureyes (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was outside with a guy I really like. He asked me to lay down on the ground and watch the stars with him. I did. Suddenly, he got up, walked over to another girl and kissed her. They left me there on the soaking wet ground, watching the stars. FML

#4756705
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39200) - you deserved it (3365)

On 08/23/2009 at 7:00am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Buskerud)

Today, a friend jokingly asked who in my relationship wears the pants. My girlfriend replied, "I'm not sure, but I've got photos to prove I don't wear the skirt." FML

#4754202
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8881) - you deserved it (31897)

On 08/23/2009 at 2:54am - love - by Crossy (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I spilled my heart out to a guy by showing him one of my poetry journals. He read through it and said, "Wow, I feel sorry for the guy you wrote about." The poems were all about how I loved him. FML

#4747171
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27579) - you deserved it (7039)

On 08/22/2009 at 10:41pm - love - by storyofmylife (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, after my partner of two years broke up with me, I decided to have a heart to heart with my mother about it. Her advice was to clean the house. I asked how that would make me feel better. She said that she wasn't sure, but at least the house would be clean. FML

#4744238
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25730) - you deserved it (4036)

On 08/22/2009 at 8:43pm - love - by Loveless (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. As I was leaving his house I hear him shout "Hey! Wait! Sweetie, come back here!". He was talking to his cat who ran out the door behind me. FML

#4733759
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32719) - you deserved it (2873)

On 08/22/2009 at 11:39am - love - by roostergirl (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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