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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, my fitness trainer husband told me that if I could not make the commitment to stay thin, he could not make the commitment to stay with me. FML

#5423038
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40298) - you deserved it (14043)

On 09/23/2009 at 2:47am - love - by fatty (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I received a phone call from the number of a "single" guy I met online. It was his wife, who is three months pregnant. She threatened to kick my ass. FML

#5419998
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30437) - you deserved it (7408)

On 09/22/2009 at 9:10pm - love - by cchandler (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was checking into a hotel with my boyfriend. A few minutes after we get to our room, the cops show up to our door asking to see some ID from the both of us. The hotel staff had called the cops on us because they thought I was underage and he was going to molest me. I'm 21 and he is 24. FML

#5419115
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37625) - you deserved it (2688)

On 09/22/2009 at 7:36pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was going to take my boyfriend to Napa. It's my birthday and I wanted to do something big since last year my fiancée called off the wedding. My boyfriend just broke up with me because I'm "clearly not over" my ex. This makes two consecutive birthdays alone in romantic hotels I paid for. FML

#5413362
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38648) - you deserved it (5433)

On 09/22/2009 at 12:27pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend asked me to marry him by handing me a ring and telling me, "Okay we're engaged now." I should have seen it coming when we started dating, I went to his house one night and as I was leaving he said, "Okay you're my girlfriend now." FML

#5407615
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38021) - you deserved it (15339)

On 09/22/2009 at 12:27am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my soon to be mother-in-law sent me a birthday present. It was a necklace for me to wear at my wedding. The pendant is a well known lesbian symbol. I'm a woman and I'm marrying her son. FML

#5392687
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36054) - you deserved it (2658)

On 09/21/2009 at 12:32pm - love - by whasian (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend decided to break up with me because she found a bra in my cupboard. It was hers. FML

#5389854
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39560) - you deserved it (3135)

On 09/21/2009 at 6:53am - love - by Wronged (man) - Singapore

Today, I got a client who ordered ice cream. She seemed really nice and I thought maybe she was into me. When I asked if she wanted peanuts for an additional 50 cents, she said no. Trying to be nice, I added them anyway free of charge. I later had to call the ambulance. She was allergic. FML

#5387856
311 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9680) - you deserved it (95249)

On 09/21/2009 at 2:06am - love - by FreeOfCharge (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I found out that my whole family thinks my girlfriend is imaginary. I sent her a text in front of them telling her that. She never responded. FML

#5386120
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42769) - you deserved it (5298)

On 09/21/2009 at 12:16am - love - by Imaginary girlfriend - Sent from mobile version

Today, I bought the girl I like a bouquet of roses saying "anonymous" on it, and left it on her front porch. She saw it, and called the guy she thought it was from. He said "you're welcome" and now they're going out. FML

#5385782
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23336) - you deserved it (40257)

On 09/21/2009 at 12:02am - love - by anonymouss (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to my girlfriend's house for the first time. I had to use the restroom, and when I came back, I mocked her brothers' lame Pokémon shower curtain and Ninja Turtle towels. Turns out they were hers. FML

#5383572
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7769) - you deserved it (56478)

On 09/20/2009 at 10:28pm - love - by newlydumped (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend of a year broke up with me because I didn't fight some guy that started hitting her right in front of me... In a dream. She was totally serious. FML

#5369029
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58668) - you deserved it (3564)

On 09/20/2009 at 9:21am - love - by dreamdude (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my grandma wasn't feeling well, so I went to her house to check on her. After about 20 mins, I knew she was feeling better when she looked at me and said "So do you have a boyfriend yet? I pray everynight that I get to live long enough to see you with a boyfriend." FML

#5364824
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33657) - you deserved it (3551)

On 09/20/2009 at 1:18am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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