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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, some girl from Colorado called me. She knew my name. My Facebook. I had no idea how she got my number. She then asks me out. I say "sure" sarcastically. She then calls my girlfriend, who also lives in Colorado. Our relationship is now over. FML

#7598388
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12436) - you deserved it (36586)

On 01/26/2010 at 9:12pm - love - by Aaron (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I went on a date with the hottest guy I've ever met. He is also rich and successful, and would probably be perfect for me, if only he could stop bragging about it. FML

#7586037
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28301) - you deserved it (13372)

On 01/26/2010 at 6:30am - love - by OTZ - Sent from mobile version

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because of my dad constantly hitting on her. Not because she was disgusted, but because she wants to date him. FML

#7584651
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53532) - you deserved it (2754)

On 01/26/2010 at 2:35am - love - by Junior (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got a message from my ex saying how sorry he was for everything he did. He also said that if he wasn't getting married and having a kid we could still be together. We broke up a year ago. FML

#7584201
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26238) - you deserved it (2445)

On 01/26/2010 at 1:56am - love - by nubbins (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my mother urged me to "get over this lesbian thing and give me some grandkids." In front of my girlfriend of eleven months. FML

#7583250
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39862) - you deserved it (12561)

On 01/26/2010 at 1:05am - love - by Eagle (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I started work as the head engineer for a big civil engineering project. I met the rest of my team, in particular the environmental engineer who I'll need to get along with the most. As it turns out, I took her virginity when we were freshmen in college. She still thinks I'm an asshole. FML

#7565931
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11680) - you deserved it (34089)

On 01/25/2010 at 8:32am - love - by CivE (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my fiancée texts me while out at a restaurant. She told me that she saw one of my high school friends there, and that he asked "How's Douglas doing?". She then asked me who Douglas is. Douglas is my legal name. We've been together for over three years and she didn't know. FML

#7564897
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25568) - you deserved it (9628)

On 01/25/2010 at 6:06am - love - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to the grocery store, and I realized that all I bought was cat food and $30 worth of protein bars. Yes, I have become THAT single woman. FML

#7560718
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23856) - you deserved it (6527)

On 01/25/2010 at 12:33am - love - by Phoenix0614 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my parents had a huge fight because my mom found out my dad was cheating on her. They screamed for half an hour. Right in the middle of my wedding. FML

#7552135
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54220) - you deserved it (2140)

On 01/24/2010 at 8:02pm - love - by weddingbells (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, to my surprise my girlfriend said, "I've never felt this way before." We have been dating for six months, and I knew that I loved her, so I replied, "Me neither, I love you." There was a long awkward pause. Turns out, she was talking about her abnormally painful period cramps. FML

#7551805
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30977) - you deserved it (4193)

On 01/24/2010 at 7:50pm - love - by dan (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was on my first date with my crush. When I saw her, I greeted her with, "Hey, sweetheart." She's convinced I said, "Hey, retard." FML

#7545764
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33451) - you deserved it (5011)

On 01/24/2010 at 2:32pm - love - by firstdate (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got a call from the girl I'd really like to date to meet up for drinks. Excited, I walked out my front door, slipped on a patch of ice, and dislocated my shoulder. She won't go out on a date with me now because I "ditched her". FML

#7534159
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28024) - you deserved it (2617)

On 01/24/2010 at 12:01am - love - by pogodrake (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, when I logged onto facebook, I discovered a friend request from my ex who broke up with me and deleted me months ago. Upon adding her, I was taken to her profile where I saw dozens of status updates talking about how much she loves her new boyfriend, who she dumped me for. FML

#7531653
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21686) - you deserved it (8756)

On 01/23/2010 at 10:29pm - love - by lmiller (man) - United States (Colorado)



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