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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I got my first tattoo. When I showed my boyfriend, he asked where I got the design. I told him I saw it in a sketch book of his. He designed it for his last girlfriend, who got it in the same place. FML

#5336281
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17145) - you deserved it (54002)

On 09/18/2009 at 6:01pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was trying to look cute in front of this really nice guy. I sure hope he thinks smacking into a pole, rebounding backwards and knocking over an old man is cute. FML

#5325412
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12807) - you deserved it (29322)

On 09/18/2009 at 12:14am - love - by mudafkrmas (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my sister broke up with her boyfriend of 4 years because he hadn't "popped" the question. I've just spent the last 2 months helping him plan the perfect proposal. FML

#5312576
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44803) - you deserved it (3227)

On 09/17/2009 at 1:44pm - love - by Sadtimes - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, the boy I have crush on at school announced that his family were moving to Australia. My friend thought that it would be funny to spread a rumour that I was moving too, in order to follow him. Everyone has heard it, and unfortunately everyone believes it, including him. FML

#5308714
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35157) - you deserved it (4967)

On 09/17/2009 at 5:23am - love - by FirmlyInEngland (woman) - United Kingdom (Swindon)

Today, I finally figured out that when a man says "Maybe some other time, I'll be busy then" more than once, he really means "I don't really want to see you again. I didn't think you'd actually USE my number." FML

#5305557
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10325) - you deserved it (29986)

On 09/17/2009 at 12:15am - love - by justplainsad (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went on a blind date. We had agreed on meeting in front of a park. Thinking I was there first, I texted her "I'm already there, sitting next to the fat chick." I heard a beep. SHE was the "fat chick." FML

#5292418
335 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19949) - you deserved it (93939)

On 09/16/2009 at 2:23pm - love - by sarahh38 (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, there was a knock at my door, and I was greeted by a punch to the face. The man was the extremely angry "fiancé" of the girl I've been married to for just over a year. FML

#5287091
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51137) - you deserved it (2550)

On 09/16/2009 at 2:34am - love - by OhDamn (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, my boyfriend got pulled over and arrested for driving with a suspended license. Instead of getting my car impounded, his friend thought he'd do me a favor and drive it back to me. He doesn't know how to drive stick and blew my engine. My boyfriend is in jail and I no longer have a car. FML

#5286823
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36155) - you deserved it (5779)

On 09/16/2009 at 2:12am - love - by takingthebus (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was having an after work-out dinner with my ex-girlfriend and we were having a great time, catching up, eating good food, all the good things. Then when I got home, I realized I just talked to my ex-girlfriend for an hour and a half about how much better her new boyfriend is than me. FML

#5285675
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10345) - you deserved it (35303)

On 09/16/2009 at 12:24am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I decided to go through my husband's phone to make sure I invited everyone to the surprise party I was planning for him. There were a few I had missed so I called to let them know about it. The last number I called was his girlfriend. FML

#5276635
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48942) - you deserved it (4115)

On 09/15/2009 at 5:44pm - love - by Soontobeex (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out that the reason I hadn't gotten pregnant yet was because my husband had a vasectomy after the birth of his son. He even had the nerve to continously tell me, "it'll happen soon, baby" and let me believe we were trying. FML

#5273221
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53059) - you deserved it (3416)

On 09/15/2009 at 2:18pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, after thirteen years of engagement, my fiancé and I split. As is, with the day, we changed our facebook relationships to make it official. I logged back on tonight to find his mother, the woman I've spent the last year looking after and having a good time, 'liking' the break up. FML

#5269960
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36195) - you deserved it (6796)

On 09/15/2009 at 8:10am - love - by ohIlike (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my best friend, the man who I've been in love with for nine years, finally told me he loves me and wants to spend the rest of his life with me. Unfortunately, it was while he was using me to practice proposing to his girlfriend. FML

#5269441
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49736) - you deserved it (7900)

On 09/15/2009 at 6:53am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)



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