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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my girlfriend, who is a dog trainer, was telling me all about the techniques she uses at work. I commented on how the dogs must be stupid to fall for such simple tricks, to which she replied "They worked on you." FML

#5203249
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9902) - you deserved it (41371)

On 09/12/2009 at 8:00am - love - by TrainedBF (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, the guy I have been in love with for years decided to tell me all about his women problems and how he can't find someone. After telling him I loved him he responds, "do you know if anyone else does?" FML

#5201884
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41946) - you deserved it (3507)

On 09/12/2009 at 3:39am - love - by ksgirl (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I was trying to keep myself occupied due to my recent breakup. I was reading this book someone gave me about animal communication, so after a while, I figured I'd give it a shot. Then it dawned on me; I'm single, at home on a Friday night, and I'm trying to talk to my dog. FML

#5190097
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36138) - you deserved it (6411)

On 09/11/2009 at 5:07pm - love - by fall3nrain (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, My girlfriend and I were watching tv when suddenly one of our phones start going off. We both have the same phone and they were next to each other. She picks up the phone and reads the text message, "I wish you were here! I'd fuck you silly" She gets pissed and runs out. It was her phone. FML

#5187639
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51433) - you deserved it (3095)

On 09/11/2009 at 2:27pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my fiancée broke up with me because I "don't know what I'm doing with my future". I've done four years in the Marines and am in the process of becoming an officer. She has a film degree which she has no interest in, works at the mall, and just moved back in with her dad. FML

#5186849
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42913) - you deserved it (2970)

On 09/11/2009 at 1:11pm - love - by TankTankTank (man) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I had dinner with my girlfriend of five months along with my mom and dad. Everything was going fine until my mom asked aloud "Everything going smooth for you in the bedroom?" to which my girlfriend replied "No." I was painting the master bedroom at my parent's house for some extra cash. FML

#5184677
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36140) - you deserved it (3641)

On 09/11/2009 at 8:26am - love - by moresexperience (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend of three years sent me several flowers and chocolate boxes to my office. It ends up that he cheated on me with my sister and tried to break the news to me after all the presents he sent. I thought he actually remembered our anniversary this year. FML

#5182605
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40972) - you deserved it (2327)

On 09/11/2009 at 2:35am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were fooling around in his car when things got hot and heavy and we decided to climb in the back. After we finished we started to put our clothes back just as a someone's brights flooded into the car. It was a cop, and he had been there the entire time. FML

#5180905
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12263) - you deserved it (35899)

On 09/11/2009 at 12:23am - love - by suzanneallen (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was walking with my very attractive friend who I like a lot. She then told me that her roomate wouldn't be home tonight, and if I wanted, I could come over and study history. I didn't get it. I told her no thanks, that I was covered, and it was chem I needed to study. An hour later, I understood. FML

#5173603
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12460) - you deserved it (69131)

On 09/10/2009 at 7:17pm - love - by itisthedude (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my girlfriend of 3 years told me that I was part of an experiment for her Sociology doctorate. I also learned that the notebooks she's been writing in for the past three years aren't for her "doctorate in literature" as she had told me, they were notes on my behavior for the past 3 years. FML

#5166110
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48860) - you deserved it (3106)

On 09/10/2009 at 9:37am - love - by Dave (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me because I hadn't popped the question to her yet. For the last six months, I have been respectfully trying to convince her over protective father to give me his blessing. FML

#5154166
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41504) - you deserved it (4381)

On 09/09/2009 at 7:11pm - love - by K-9cop (man) - United States

Today, I hired a private investigator to find out if my wife of 15 years is cheating on me with my brother. I don't know what's worse, that she is cheating on me, or that instead of cheating with my brother she's cheating with my brother's wife. FML

#5151842
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54533) - you deserved it (4967)

On 09/09/2009 at 5:20pm - love - by nick2.0 (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, we went to the mall and my husband picked me out some perfume. When I asked him why he liked that particular one he responded with, "that's what's the stripper at my bachelor party was wearing." He was completely serious. FML

#5150637
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35736) - you deserved it (3647)

On 09/09/2009 at 4:16pm - love - by m - United States



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