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Today, my husband of five years told me he's leaving me and will be gone when I return from Iraq. When I told him I love him and asked him not to go, he said he won't file divorce papers just yet, but he's moving out-of-state because "we need time apart." I've been gone for most of the year. FML

#5603629
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41121) - you deserved it (2729)

On 10/02/2009 at 12:47pm - love - by everyonesdivorced (woman) - Iraq (Baghdad)

Today, I sent my long-distance girlfriend the first photo of me I'd sent her in a while. It was a photo of me with some of my friends, she didn't know which one I was. FML

#5600521
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30853) - you deserved it (10135)

On 10/02/2009 at 4:37am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I walked into my brother's house to see him unshaven and still in pyjamas eating ice-cream straight from the tub. I said jokingly, "You're lucky you have your wife, no one else could love you." His wife had just told him she was leaving him for her orthodontist. FML

Today, my crush was talking to me on Facebook. He said, "Did you know that 99% of the time a guy is talking to a girl it's because he wants to go out with her? Yeah, well, this is that 1%." FML

#5579906
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41155) - you deserved it (3254)

On 10/01/2009 at 2:59am - love - by Icy (woman) - United States (Washington) - moderated by Kevin Nealon

Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend, who had just been awoken by her own fart. FML

#5550225
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64427) - you deserved it (4716)

On 09/29/2009 at 5:21pm - love - by P0wned (man) - France (Bretagne)

Today, I was at lunch with my girlfriend. The waitress came up and asked for her number, then asked if she had a significant other. I laughed as my girlfriend gave the waitress her number. They're going on a date, tonight. FML

#5548309
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44162) - you deserved it (6402)

On 09/29/2009 at 3:09pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I tried to flirt with my girlfriend since I'm really busy and we can't always be together. I tell her online that I think she's hot and she responds "Keep talking I have to pee". FML

#5541387
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27576) - you deserved it (5301)

On 09/29/2009 at 12:38am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, was my wedding day and I had been preparing my speech for my husband for about 3 months. At the wedding, I poured my heart out to him. Did he do the same? My husband forgot about it and right before the wedding, took his from his first marriage and changed the name. FML

#5539052
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39036) - you deserved it (3644)

On 09/28/2009 at 10:53pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I awoke in bed with my boyfriend and his dog. After some pushing and prodding, I thought my boyfriend was trying to move the dog out of the way to cuddle with me. It turns out, he was moving the dog closer to him. My boyfriend would rather spoon with his dog than me. FML

#5527691
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31232) - you deserved it (5854)

On 09/28/2009 at 2:25pm - love - by chachi (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I talked to a girl on the phone who had previously told me her last relationship "ended very badly." I said, "So let me guess, that jerk cheated on you?" She paused for a few moments and finally replied, "No, he died in a motorcycle accident." FML

#5526901
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36699) - you deserved it (19322)

On 09/28/2009 at 1:34pm - love - by Greg (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was talking and joking with my boyfriend. He said "Hey wanna hear a joke?" I said "Yes." He said, "Our relationship." and walked away. He seriously dumped me through a one-liner. FML

#5515193
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46859) - you deserved it (4587)

On 09/27/2009 at 9:16pm - love - by screwwyou (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was walking with my girlfriend when a little guy walked up and flirted with her. I'm a pretty weak guy and he looked weaker, so I gave him a little push and said "Back off". He's actually not weak at all. I've got a black eye and a girlfriend who won't stop laughing to prove it. FML

#5506642
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13613) - you deserved it (37662)

On 09/27/2009 at 2:12pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, by text, while we were in the same room. FML

#5502747
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48202) - you deserved it (3762)

On 09/27/2009 at 8:17am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)



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