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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, my boyfriend confessed to me that the only reason he's with me is because I'm a good tattoo artist and he's too broke to pay for his own tattoos. We've been together for two years. FML

#8042728
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30283) - you deserved it (2640)

On 02/09/2010 at 3:14am - love - by estephi - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend told my hamster he loved her. Repeatedly. In 'cute' baby voices. He has yet to tell me. FML

#8039687
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24822) - you deserved it (5386)

On 02/09/2010 at 1:12am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, in art class, I tried to attract my crush's attention by slowly sitting down in front of him. Too bad I missed the chair and fell onto the floor. FML

#8038952
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9611) - you deserved it (32652)

On 02/09/2010 at 12:50am - love - by Unknown (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend of six months dumped me for his girlfriend on Grand Theft Auto because he was "tired of having to please two women at once." FML

#8026904
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31709) - you deserved it (3764)

On 02/08/2010 at 9:17pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I found out that the necklace my boyfriend gave me for my birthday was actually a gift he'd given to his ex girlfriend. FML

#8013959
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28533) - you deserved it (2819)

On 02/08/2010 at 3:24pm - love - by Chrissy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, saying I was immature for making gay jokes all the time. A few hours later, I got six texts and three calls from guys I didn't know. It turns out, she put my name and number on Craigslist as a gay man seeking a relationship. FML

#8013875
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12351) - you deserved it (51689)

On 02/08/2010 at 3:21pm - love - by christian9294 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got ice cream with a guy I'd met at a wrestling match a few days ago. When I got home, I found out that my mother had been sitting in the parking lot and watched us through the windows. FML

#8011399
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27255) - you deserved it (2566)

On 02/08/2010 at 1:23pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my wife told me that she wants a divorce. Apparently, I'm taking too long to forgive her for having an affair. FML

#8007252
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47637) - you deserved it (3804)

On 02/08/2010 at 9:18am - love - by DD - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boss asked me if I could work on Valentine's Day because there was no chance of me having a date. She's right. FML

#8007090
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34544) - you deserved it (3163)

On 02/08/2010 at 9:07am - love - by klala - Reserved

Today, I was having a very realistic dream about a hot guy. Just as he was leaning in to ravish me, I was rudely awakened by the sound of my husband farting and snorting at the same time. FML

#8005552
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28181) - you deserved it (11139)

On 02/08/2010 at 6:24am - love - by dreamteam (woman) - United States

Today, I realized the only reason I watched the SuperBowl is because Justin Bieber tweeted about it. I don't even like football. I had no idea what was going on the whole game. All I knew was who I was cheering for, because Justin Bieber tweeted who he was cheering for. FML

#8003264
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9456) - you deserved it (81733)

On 02/08/2010 at 3:00am - love - by loveeyou. - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend, who hasn't shaved in a month, went to go shave. I was pretty excited since his beard was starting to make my face itch whenever we kissed. When he came out of the bathroom he had a handlebar mustache. FML

#8001805
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31067) - you deserved it (8569)

On 02/08/2010 at 1:58am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out the hard way that my boyfriend occasionally wets the bed. He's 25 and we're moving in together next month. FML

#7998625
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26785) - you deserved it (3584)

On 02/08/2010 at 12:41am - love - by mmvv - United States



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