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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my five year old daughter told me that while I'm at work, daddy has his wrestling buddy Melinda over. She also said that they wrestle on the bed so that they won't get hurt. FML

#4867119
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68361) - you deserved it (2462)

On 08/27/2009 at 7:57pm - love - by abercrombieef (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I wrote a note for my crush of 2 years, expressing all my feelings for him signed it as "Forever your lover" then I slipped it into his locker. Later that day, he walked back up to me, tossed the note at me and said "You know I recognize your handwriting, right?" FML

#4865641
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35770) - you deserved it (24967)

On 08/27/2009 at 7:00pm - love - by fmynote (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was at a club with my girlfriend of a year. A guy starts hitting on her while I'm sitting right next to her. He then asks her to go back to his place for some fun, I start laughing thinking that there is no chance she would even consider this. I walked home alone. FML

#4844745
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50221) - you deserved it (919)

On 08/26/2009 at 8:37pm - love - by lonelyboy101 (man) - United States (California)

Today, while at an amusement park my husband left me to walk with all of our friends because he said that I moved too slow. I'm pregnant. FML

Today, I found out why my 20 year-old girlfriend broke up with me. She was building everything she did to match her favorite TV show. The main character left her boyfriend in the exact way she left me. And the breakup email she sent me contained monologue from the TV show, word for word. FML

#4829994
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60930) - you deserved it (4203)

On 08/26/2009 at 3:09am - love - by micahmatt (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I had my first real date with my first serious boyfriend. I was nervous because from past experience. I learned my lips were a bit ticklish and I usually giggled a bit during kissing. Well, we started making out and I thought was I doing pretty good hiding my laughs. Until I wet myself. FML

#4819197
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41502) - you deserved it (9093)

On 08/25/2009 at 7:56pm - love - by RitaDahhlinnnng (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was supposed to be picked up by my date. I haven't got my license yet, so all my dates have to pick me up. He never showed. He also didn't bother to text or call that he wasn't coming. Neither did the five other dates I was supposed to have this summer. FML

#4812515
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38429) - you deserved it (7158)

On 08/25/2009 at 2:52pm - love - by sabbydutchgirl (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was walking out of a bar when someone grabbed me by the throat, and slammed me against a wall, saying "Stop fooling around with my wife, because next time - I'll kill you." I'm gay and haven't been with a woman since 1985. FML

#4810431
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55684) - you deserved it (5955)

On 08/25/2009 at 1:09pm - love - by Jeff (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my mother was cleaning out my underwear drawer and found my vibrator. Everytime I see her in the hall, she just cracks up and makes jokes about how I can't get a guy, so I have to rely on electronics. What's worse, she told my dad AND posted a status on facebook about it. FML

#4809359
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62828) - you deserved it (9181)

On 08/25/2009 at 12:04pm - love - by Sarah (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my friends and I went out drinking, and luckily enough, the guy I have had a crush on for four years now was there. I tried to get drunk so that I can make a move and blame it on the alcohol. I went in to whisper my confession in his ear... only to puke on him. FML

#4808009
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8910) - you deserved it (59484)

On 08/25/2009 at 10:17am - love - by sickened (woman) - Philippines (Rizal)

Today, I quit my job that my girlfriend and I worked together at. Fellow employees are not allowed to date one another and I said it would be ok if I was the one to leave. When I got home to her and told her that I quit, she decided to break up with me. I now have no job and no girlfriend. FML

#4807185
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33627) - you deserved it (9008)

On 08/25/2009 at 8:54am - love - by kalazoo21 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling after getting it on a few times. He holds my face in his hands, looks deep into my eyes and says "I smell chicken." FML

#4799049
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30270) - you deserved it (5269)

On 08/24/2009 at 11:34pm - love - by isoheartcaitlin (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was flirting with this guy that had been forced to be my lab partner for class. He was really funny and attractive, too. In the middle of our conversation he said "You're so cute! You remind me of my boyfriend!" FML

#4789258
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39126) - you deserved it (6533)

On 08/24/2009 at 5:27pm - love - by NotCuteEnough (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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