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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, saying I was immature for making gay jokes all the time. A few hours later, I got six texts and three calls from guys I didn't know. It turns out, she put my name and number on Craigslist as a gay man seeking a relationship. FML

#8013875
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12341) - you deserved it (51642)

On 02/08/2010 at 3:21pm - love - by christian9294 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got ice cream with a guy I'd met at a wrestling match a few days ago. When I got home, I found out that my mother had been sitting in the parking lot and watched us through the windows. FML

#8011399
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27235) - you deserved it (2565)

On 02/08/2010 at 1:23pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my wife told me that she wants a divorce. Apparently, I'm taking too long to forgive her for having an affair. FML

#8007252
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46437) - you deserved it (3709)

On 02/08/2010 at 9:18am - love - by DD - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boss asked me if I could work on Valentine's Day because there was no chance of me having a date. She's right. FML

#8007090
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34258) - you deserved it (3135)

On 02/08/2010 at 9:07am - love - by klala - Reserved

Today, I was having a very realistic dream about a hot guy. Just as he was leaning in to ravish me, I was rudely awakened by the sound of my husband farting and snorting at the same time. FML

#8005552
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28167) - you deserved it (11130)

On 02/08/2010 at 6:24am - love - by dreamteam (woman) - United States

Today, I realized the only reason I watched the SuperBowl is because Justin Bieber tweeted about it. I don't even like football. I had no idea what was going on the whole game. All I knew was who I was cheering for, because Justin Bieber tweeted who he was cheering for. FML

#8003264
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8508) - you deserved it (76289)

On 02/08/2010 at 3:00am - love - by loveeyou. - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend, who hasn't shaved in a month, went to go shave. I was pretty excited since his beard was starting to make my face itch whenever we kissed. When he came out of the bathroom he had a handlebar mustache. FML

#8001805
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30562) - you deserved it (8493)

On 02/08/2010 at 1:58am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out the hard way that my boyfriend occasionally wets the bed. He's 25 and we're moving in together next month. FML

#7998625
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26386) - you deserved it (3530)

On 02/08/2010 at 12:41am - love - by mmvv - United States

Today, I found out that the man I met online was a fake Facebook account, made by my daughter and her friends. FML

#7997693
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32459) - you deserved it (6980)

On 02/08/2010 at 12:21am - love - by cupcakemonsteryu - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out the love of my life, my husband, is cheating on me. When I confronted him about it, his response was, "Don't blame me, you're the gullible bitch." FML

#7992828
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40589) - you deserved it (3507)

On 02/07/2010 at 11:03pm - love - by Hm (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I forgot it was her birthday. We had only been dating for 2 weeks. I didn't even know when it was. FML

#7974279
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30021) - you deserved it (7540)

On 02/07/2010 at 1:56pm - love - by jake (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years saw baby wipes in my bathroom and assumed I had a kid. He broke up with me. I use baby wipes to take off my makeup. FML

#7972550
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31937) - you deserved it (3123)

On 02/07/2010 at 12:41pm - love - by notababymama (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend of one week is suicidal and crazy about me. She showed me that she carved her old boyfriends name in her arm and she threatened suicide if I ever left her. FML

#7962571
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41307) - you deserved it (3758)

On 02/07/2010 at 2:16am - love - by mike (man) - United States (West Virginia)



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