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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my mom came over to visit and permed my hair. Ten minutes after she started, I told her it was burning. She told me to suck it up because it doesn't hurt that badly. I now have scabs all over my scalp, hairline, and nape. FML

#8443272
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24405) - you deserved it (3474)

On 02/19/2010 at 1:24pm - love - by sexxibxmami - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got a reply to my Valentine's Day card that I sent to my girlfriend. I'll get the address right next time because her neighbor is really creeping me out now. FML

#8435520
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8568) - you deserved it (19731)

On 02/19/2010 at 3:25am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went to a Jack's Mannequin concert. I'd asked this girl I'm interested in to come with me, and she insisted that she had to bring her two year old son with us. I'd told her it was no problem. Ten minutes into it, she said we needed to leave because it was too loud for him. FML

#8410012
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24328) - you deserved it (9600)

On 02/18/2010 at 3:12pm - love - by tyler - United States

Today, I woke up to hear my boyfriend drunkenly crashing around in the living room, after peeing in an ashtray because he thought it was a urinal. FML

#8409963
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21470) - you deserved it (3771)

On 02/18/2010 at 3:08pm - love - by gp28 - United States

Today, my parents decided they won't pay for college because of a Fox News story that said higher education "makes you liberal." FML

#8402650
382 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38061) - you deserved it (2899)

On 02/18/2010 at 8:20am - love - by merse - United States (North Carolina)

Today, after 25 years of marriage and 2 children, I was served with divorce papers. It turns out my 51 year old, soon to be ex, has been having an affair with the 24 year old tutor I hired to help our daughter bring her grades up. They are in love and want to start a new family together as soon as possible. FML

#8400921
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41617) - you deserved it (2547)

On 02/18/2010 at 4:51am - love - by brokenhearted (woman) - United States

Today, I found out that my girlfriend got drunk and cheated on me. After I tried to talk to her about it, she dumped me. Not because she didn't like me anymore or that she liked the other guy, but because she felt "too guilty" and "wouldn't be able to look me in the eyes anymore." FML

#8400274
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28921) - you deserved it (3146)

On 02/18/2010 at 3:58am - love - by Dumped (man) - United States (California)

Today, my grandma called me to tell me that a couple of cute boys stopped by her house to borrow something. She told them all about me, and that I would be interested in them. My love life is so pathetic, even my grandmother is trying to hook me up. FML

#8394792
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23073) - you deserved it (4197)

On 02/18/2010 at 12:07am - love - by loveless - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was in school and spotted my girlfriend in the hallway. I wanted to be all romantic and grab her like guys do in movies. I grabbed her wrist forcefully and pulled her out of the crowd. As I quickly leaned in to kiss her I broke her nose. FML

#8376672
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11487) - you deserved it (33936)

On 02/17/2010 at 3:44pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I received a letter in the mail. The letter was from a woman who explained to me every single detail of a three month affair she had with my husband. She included pictures. FML

#8375292
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41707) - you deserved it (2363)

On 02/17/2010 at 2:49pm - love - by tj85 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, the only guy showing slightly any interest in me is a Nazi-obsessed psychopath. He uses lovely pick-up lines such as, "Hey, do you know how much it hurts to staple your hand?" FML

#8368269
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28038) - you deserved it (2620)

On 02/17/2010 at 5:49am - love - by LoveDrug (woman) - Ireland

Today, I found out the reason my boyfriend asked me out was because the fortune ball app on his iPod told him to. FML

#8364969
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23275) - you deserved it (3056)

On 02/17/2010 at 1:38am - love - by amireallyloved - United States (California)

Today, I found out my cousin - who suffers from bipolar disorder - shot herself in the chest and has only a 20 percent chance of living. I told my boyfriend, while crying, and he held me for a few minutes. As soon as I got quiet, he pulled out his iPhone and started playing a shooter game. FML

#8364770
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40677) - you deserved it (4073)

On 02/17/2010 at 1:30am - love - by lynn (woman) - United States (Texas)



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