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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my old highschool math teacher called me, asking me to please stop calling him at 2AM every weekend. Turns out my best friend uses my cellphone to call his number every time she's drunk, and declares her eternal love to him. FML

#5957571
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32227) - you deserved it (3825)

On 10/23/2009 at 11:15am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Flevoland)

Today, I surprised my boyfriend at work, only to notice that his neck was covered in hickies. The night before, he texted me saying he needed alone time to get his mind together. Looks like he got together with another mind. FML

#5942129
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33525) - you deserved it (2837)

On 10/22/2009 at 8:09am - love - by LonelyHeart (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my fiancé and I met his mother for lunch to discuss wedding plans. When we got there, I went to the bathroom to wash my hands. I heard a woman talking on her cell phone in the stall about her son's "disgusting, slutty girlfriend." The toilet flushed and my future mother-in-law walked out. FML

#5940105
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39732) - you deserved it (3017)

On 10/22/2009 at 1:53am - love - by uneek_3225 (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, for my two month anniversary, my boyfriend surprised me with a "present". He then lifted his pant leg. He had carved my initials into his leg with a knife. FML

#5937926
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49439) - you deserved it (4727)

On 10/21/2009 at 11:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I texted my brother saying "Always remember I love you! Never forget it!" to which he answered: "You better not be doing drugs." FML

#5933276
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24814) - you deserved it (8949)

On 10/21/2009 at 7:21pm - love - by Lovelysister (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while working as a cashier, I was flirting with this cute girl. When I asked her if she had her store card she said "No", paused, then said "Can I give you my number?". I said "Sure, that would be awesome, do you want mine?". She said no. I didn't know I could just enter the card number. FML

#5929779
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10060) - you deserved it (31968)

On 10/21/2009 at 3:53pm - love - by fyourlife (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was watching a movie with my sister, my roommate, and my girlfriend. Half way through the movie, my girlfriend left the room and texted me that she was breaking up with me. She then came back in the room, sat on my bed, and enjoyed the rest of the movie with us. FML

#5924772
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42603) - you deserved it (3009)

On 10/21/2009 at 2:39am - love - by Small_Fry_Hero (man) - United States (California)

Today, I told my girlfriend over MSN that we had to talk. I log on to facebook and the first thing I see is that she changed our relationship from "In a Relationship" to "It's Complicated." FML

#5923458
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25305) - you deserved it (10205)

On 10/21/2009 at 12:07am - love - by wtfrelationship (man) - Singapore

Today, I told my girlfriend of eight months that if she didn't start taking my band's music seriously, we couldn't see each other anymore. She said fine, and I hugged her, but then she stood up and said 'I hope we can still be friends,' and walked out the door. FML

#5909113
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8913) - you deserved it (64560)

On 10/20/2009 at 2:51am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was texting my boyfriend. I noticed that he had added a signature onto his texts that had the date 11/10/09. At first, I blushed and thought it was the date we had become a couple. But then I realized it was just the day the new Call of Duty game comes out. Love you too. FML

#5908509
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16879) - you deserved it (30304)

On 10/20/2009 at 1:26am - love - by gamergirlfriend (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend and I got into a huge fight. She kicked me out of the apartment and told me to never come back. Devastated, I waited outside of the apartment door for hours hoping she'd reconsider. I ended up falling asleep. I woke up to her foot stomping on me, screaming "I meant it!" FML

#5902107
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31589) - you deserved it (7826)

On 10/19/2009 at 7:51pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my manager mentioned that she'd hired a "cute boy" to help me out at work with paperwork. The "cute boy" was my ex-fiancé and now I have to be with him in an office for 30 some hours a week while his current fiancée brings him lunch everyday. FML

#5897487
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43622) - you deserved it (2784)

On 10/19/2009 at 3:37pm - love - by Alyssa (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend because he has anger issues. Tonight, my tires were slashed. FML

#5895031
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39206) - you deserved it (6222)

On 10/19/2009 at 11:54am - love - by kierstin (woman) - United States (Nevada)



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