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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, my girlfriend of six months broke up with me because of 'creative differences', as she put it. The real reason is that we couldn't decide which cupboard the plates should have gone in. FML

#12797067
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25401) - you deserved it (4230)

On 08/29/2010 at 12:21am - love - by nottelling7012 (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, the girl I like sent me a Facebook message telling me how the message I left on her phone was one of the funniest drunk dials she's ever gotten. I'm debating whether or not I should tell her that I don't drink. FML

#12793954
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30696) - you deserved it (3980)

On 08/28/2010 at 9:36pm - love - by 713 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was watching TV when a Dentyne gum commercial came on and stated that the average person spends more than 20,000 minutes kissing. I've spent less than three. FML

#12786707
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33639) - you deserved it (5894)

On 08/28/2010 at 12:19pm - love - by doesntkissalot - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend of 5 years finally asked me to marry him. He said: We could save taxes if we married.. what do you think? That was the most romantic thing he said to me in the last 2 years. FML

#12768911
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32585) - you deserved it (9729)

On 08/27/2010 at 5:57am - love - by weddinggirl (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend from the top of a bungee jumping platform at an amusement park. I yelled out, "WILL YOU MARRY ME?" from the platform, pointing her out. Turns out, I was pointing at the wrong girl. My girlfriend was very angry and ran away when the wrong girl yelled, "Yes!" FML

#12757529
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37088) - you deserved it (15363)

On 08/26/2010 at 4:06pm - love - by Ido (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I realised that every morning my girlfriend gets me to help her put on a locket her ex-boyfriend bought her on Valentine's Day. FML

#12752229
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33800) - you deserved it (4366)

On 08/26/2010 at 5:16am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Yukon Territory)

Today, I had to confront my boyfriend after finding a girl's phone number next to my bed. He said I was over reacting. When I told him it was over, he asked for the number back so he could call her. FML

#12748715
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32719) - you deserved it (8809)

On 08/26/2010 at 12:11am - love - by tj - United States

Today, my husband has been out of town for a week. The only text I've got from him was, "I didn't take a poop today." FML

#12748634
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31310) - you deserved it (3716)

On 08/26/2010 at 12:08am - love - by TextsAlot (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I found out that the only reason my boyfriend wants to move in with me is so he has better internet connection and won't get kicked off of Xbox live while playing MW2. FML

#12748631
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30134) - you deserved it (5656)

On 08/26/2010 at 12:08am - love - by devigsgirl (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my date and I went to the movies. After the date, we were both on an instant chat room at our homes. Her personal message displayed "I think I love my ex again." FML

#12746191
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28979) - you deserved it (2909)

On 08/25/2010 at 10:09pm - love - by bevo - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got a text from my boyfriend whilst on the train home from spending the weekend with him at his Grandparents house. It said 'Gran says to tell you that the bin beside the toilet is actually for storing spare shampoos and tooth brushes, so could you not put your tampons in it next time?' FML

#12725803
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35158) - you deserved it (8181)

On 08/24/2010 at 7:46pm - love - by DyingOfShame (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, I saw two cute girls walking my way as I was parking my car. Trying to impress them, I got out and attempted to coolly walk to the sidewalk. I tripped on the curb, scraped both my knees, and was laughed at all the way until I got back inside my car. FML

#12724664
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12801) - you deserved it (34348)

On 08/24/2010 at 6:36pm - love - by iammike (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out that my brother is engaged to marry an ex-girlfriend of mine. This comes almost two months after my brother divorced ANOTHER ex-girlfriend of mine. FML



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