Today, it was my boyfriend's 21st birthday. Along with a pair of $80 shoes, I bought him a birthday cake, his favorite ice cream and a $15 balloon. I showed up to the party and he was very intoxicated. So intoxicated that he pops the balloon, drops the cake, and throws up all over his new shoes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54442) - you deserved it (5910)
On 05/03/2009 at 11:22am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I had woken up very excited to celebrate my 21st birthday. I roll over in bed and ask my boyfriend if we can go out to the park to have a picnic, considering the lovely weather. He looked up at me and said, "You wish I loved you that much." He rolled back over and slept until 3 p.m. FML
I agree, your life sucks (70023) - you deserved it (6594)
On 05/01/2009 at 10:17am - love - by Anon (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I decided to run outside. I noticed a really hot guy mowing his lawn. I ran a couple of laps past him. After a while, when I slowed down, I smiled at him, and he replied You look really hot." I thanked him, and he quickly replied, "No, I mean you're sweating a lot." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13140) - you deserved it (35950)
On 04/30/2009 at 8:52pm - love - by Eli123 (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, a girl called me asking for one of her friends. She wouldn't believe me when I told her she had the wrong number, and I spent few minutes convincing her she did. After a while she said "what the fuck" and hung up. That was the longest conversation I had with a girl in months. FML
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On 04/30/2009 at 7:08pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I met my paternal grandfather for the first time. I’ve spent the last three months tracking him down. I poured my heart out and told about how much this meant to me. He told me I had a nice rack and asked for a cigarette. FML
I agree, your life sucks (71795) - you deserved it (6065)
On 04/29/2009 at 10:11pm - love - by cgold (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was on the subway and saw this cute guy eyeing me. I crossed my legs, tossed back my hair, and raised my eyebrows slightly. As he came up to me, my heart started racing until he finally started flirting... with the girl next to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42000) - you deserved it (8152)
On 04/29/2009 at 6:12am - love - by fmylifebad (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, this guy I like let me wear his favorite baseball hat that he never takes off. I returned it to him later, only to find out I have lice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45890) - you deserved it (11391)
On 04/28/2009 at 9:07pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I texted my crush that I can't come over and invited him over instead. I was so anxious for his reply I took my cell to the washroom with me. Just as I was pulling up my pants I heard something fall into the bowl, I turned around and watched my cell floating in the my own pee, vibrating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15613) - you deserved it (48210)
On 04/28/2009 at 5:49pm - love - by ugh (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my girlfriend was complaining that we don't have "a song". Irritated, I told her that I'd put on the radio, and whatever song was playing was our song from now on. I switched on the radio, and "It's Not Fair" by Lily Allen was playing. Our song is about premature ejaculation. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12797) - you deserved it (51381)
On 04/28/2009 at 4:52pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Swindon)
Today, I went out with a girl who I really love. We arrived to her house and before she got out of the car, I attempted to kiss her as planned. Still drunk, I grabbed her head and twisted it when I kissed her. She's now wearing a neck brace. Real smooth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11924) - you deserved it (64245)
On 04/28/2009 at 4:53am - love - by H-B (man) - United States
Today, I finally got cleared after my knee surgery and wanted to go salsa dancing with a girl I liked. So we went and I thought I would show off a little bit and try to dip her and kiss her. Turns out my knee isn't strong enough and now she won't talk to me after dropping her on the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19336) - you deserved it (31739)
On 04/28/2009 at 2:50am - love - by Mikey (man) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend of two years, who is a fabulous guitarist and singer, told me he wrote me a song. I was so excited. Turns out it was a break up song. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51744) - you deserved it (2740)
On 04/27/2009 at 5:47pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, in a big argument, my sister uninvited my mom to her wedding. Trying to comfort my mom, I rented Mamma Mia knowing she's wanted to see it for a while. Turns out, Mamma Mia is a mother/daughter feel-good about the daughters wedding. I had no idea, and my mom cried the whole movie. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17551) - you deserved it (52310)
On 04/27/2009 at 8:54am - love - by mammamia (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Monday 17 June 2013
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