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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was looking at my wedding pictures I had just ordered and I tried to flick something off one of the pictures, but it wouldn't come off. In a panic I quickly looked through all of my pictures and realized that I had a booger sticking out of my nose. No one told me. FML

#6681986
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32416) - you deserved it (3640)

On 12/09/2009 at 4:06pm - love - by boogerbrain (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend was telling me how concerned she was about her weight. I told her not to worry, because it gives more cushion for the pushin' anyway. She picked up a lamp and threw it right at my dingleberries. FML

#6679644
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7861) - you deserved it (68170)

On 12/09/2009 at 12:09pm - love - by ouch (man) - United States (California)

Today, I received a private message on Facebook, from a woman I've never heard of, subject: "Eric X's wife says HI." She goes on to say that she is going to find me, and ruin my life the way I have ruined hers. I've never even heard of Eric X and am happily engaged. FML

#6679301
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28996) - you deserved it (2093)

On 12/09/2009 at 11:31am - love - by Cherie (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I met a girl who's the whole package: brains, beauty, shared interests, great personality, single, and into me. Too bad I married my bitchy, depressive high school girlfriend who said she'd kill herself if I didn't. Sometimes, she still tells me she'll do it if we divorce. I believe her. FML

#6677904
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44775) - you deserved it (21391)

On 12/09/2009 at 8:27am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was talking to my girlfriend on Facebook. She's in the forces, and it was her birthday. I asked her if she liked the flowers I sent her. She thanked me, then asked if she could remove our relationship status. When I asked why, she said, "It's not like we're really going out anymore." FML

#6677615
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33147) - you deserved it (2333)

On 12/09/2009 at 7:31am - love - by im_not_me (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was going to ask my parents for advice on how to get my ex-girlfriend back. I overheard them talking about how glad they were that their plan to break us up worked so well. I don't think I should ask for advice anymore. FML

#6669217
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30717) - you deserved it (2210)

On 12/08/2009 at 7:44pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend finally invited me over to his parents house so I could meet them. My boyfriend, his dad and I were sitting in the living room, when I saw a really sketchy person outside, so I said, "There is some creepy hobo man outside, messing with your trash." The "creepy hobo" was his mom. FML

#6658638
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9445) - you deserved it (35641)

On 12/08/2009 at 12:09am - love - by CheLi (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, the "hot" guy I've been talking to for a few weeks sent me a picture. He was very overweight and not good looking at all. He then followed up with, "Now send me one of you so I can prove to all of my friends that you're real." FML

#6655081
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8220) - you deserved it (34774)

On 12/07/2009 at 9:14pm - love - by Alison (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my family and I were discussing my birthday in a couple weeks. As they asked what I wanted, I told them it was up to them. So my mother suggested that she'll get me electrolysis so I wouldn't have to worry about my mustache in college. FML

#6650801
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23742) - you deserved it (4426)

On 12/07/2009 at 2:18pm - love - by sexyyy (woman) - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)

Today, I finally got a hold of my husband who I haven't actually talked to in 2 and 1/2 weeks since he is deployed and it's hard to chat. He told me he couldn't talk because he was in an epic battle, in Call of Duty. FML

#6650793
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30431) - you deserved it (4192)

On 12/07/2009 at 2:16pm - love - by Dejected (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend of 6 months called me. He said his mom was making him choose between having a dog or having a girlfriend. I asked him which one he picked. He was quiet, I heard barking in the background. FML

#6650131
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39600) - you deserved it (4330)

On 12/07/2009 at 1:20pm - love - by WoofWoof (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out the weekly coffee talks my husband was having with his ex-girlfriend stopped involving coffee about 2 years ago. FML

#6647027
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32196) - you deserved it (18727)

On 12/07/2009 at 5:33am - love - by Jane (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I told my boyfriend he is good at singing. Now he won't stop. FML

#6644248
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8442) - you deserved it (37148)

On 12/07/2009 at 12:31am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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