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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I was in an elevator, and the hot girl who lives in my building and who I have a crush on got in. She was in a wheelchair with a broken leg, I panicked and tried to flirt with her, and I said 'Nice chair.' She replied 'Nice bruise' and punched me in the nuts. FML

#7766878
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12341) - you deserved it (47160)

On 02/01/2010 at 12:15am - love - by Liam. - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend admitted that he'd like to dress me in a squirrel suit and chase me through the forest. This was the surprising result of a discussion on how to spice up our love life. FML

#7753235
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27135) - you deserved it (4323)

On 01/31/2010 at 7:24pm - love - by JK (man) - United States (California)

Today, I realized what all the women I've been with have in common: Craigslist. FML

#7743505
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6775) - you deserved it (25266)

On 01/31/2010 at 12:42pm - love - by depr3ssed (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was watching a horror movie with my girlfriend. Suddenly, the killer jumped on screen. My girlfriend screamed. I peed myself. FML

#7736774
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32390) - you deserved it (12391)

On 01/31/2010 at 5:16am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my girlfriend and I were in my basement. I play drums and guitar very well. My girlfriend bet me $50 that she could play better than me. I made the bet, but what I didn't know was that she had been taking both drum and guitar lessons since she was 5. I just lost $50. FML

#7732713
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7274) - you deserved it (40147)

On 01/31/2010 at 1:54am - love - by unknown - Sent from mobile version

Today, my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend bumped into me at McDonald's. I was sitting alone at a table with a big mac, two large fries, a large drink and 1 case of chicken nuggets. FML

#7732342
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21226) - you deserved it (32605)

On 01/31/2010 at 1:44am - love - by tammy999 (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend had replaced our picture in her locket for a picture of Taylor Lautner shirtless. FML

#7724225
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34280) - you deserved it (5739)

On 01/30/2010 at 10:20pm - love - by Twilightsux (man) - United States

Today, I found out that my husband of five years was living a double life. He and his mistress have two children together and a third one on the way. He told me the only reason he stayed with me was for my money. I make about 8 dollars an hour and work two jobs to make ends meet. FML

#7721655
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44368) - you deserved it (2444)

On 01/30/2010 at 9:11pm - love - by pkz - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was stuck sitting at a cafeteria table next to the girl who broke my heart and her boyfriend. I got to overhear the conversation, which included "I want to go to the car" followed by "Me too, but I don't have a condom." FML

#7720142
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31035) - you deserved it (2932)

On 01/30/2010 at 8:35pm - love - by WishesWasDeaf (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend convinced me to skip school with him. His mom came home early. I had to hide in his closet and wait 6 hours for her to go to her book club meeting. FML

#7711945
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9988) - you deserved it (33111)

On 01/30/2010 at 3:55pm - love - by madgf - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out I was getting a divorce. My wife is leaving me for my brother, saying that now that he has money there is nothing that can stand in their way. I recently decided to send him money to help him get back on his feet. FML

#7708774
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39436) - you deserved it (2617)

On 01/30/2010 at 1:59pm - love - by hahahaha090114 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I caught my boyfriend cheating so I broke up with him. As revenge he threw my PS3 and XBox out of the window when I wasn't in our house. I got those consoles out of the spare money my three jobs had brought in - the same three jobs I had to get because he refused to get a job of his own. FML

#7702902
299 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40256) - you deserved it (8039)

On 01/30/2010 at 10:17am - love - by GamerGirl (woman) - United Kingdom (St. Helens)

Today, the guy that I'm in love with and plan to marry some day told me he would choose a million dollars over me. I got upset and told him I no longer want to be with him. In an excited voice he said, "Really? So are you serious I don't have to worry about this love stuff anymore?" FML

#7693033
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30077) - you deserved it (8369)

On 01/30/2010 at 12:01am - love - by Star (woman) - United States (California)



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