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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I was in school and spotted my girlfriend in the hallway. I wanted to be all romantic and grab her like guys do in movies. I grabbed her wrist forcefully and pulled her out of the crowd. As I quickly leaned in to kiss her I broke her nose. FML

#8376672
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11470) - you deserved it (33904)

On 02/17/2010 at 3:44pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I received a letter in the mail. The letter was from a woman who explained to me every single detail of a three month affair she had with my husband. She included pictures. FML

#8375292
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41243) - you deserved it (2327)

On 02/17/2010 at 2:49pm - love - by tj85 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, the only guy showing slightly any interest in me is a Nazi-obsessed psychopath. He uses lovely pick-up lines such as, "Hey, do you know how much it hurts to staple your hand?" FML

#8368269
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25456) - you deserved it (2407)

On 02/17/2010 at 5:49am - love - by LoveDrug (woman) - Ireland

Today, I found out the reason my boyfriend asked me out was because the fortune ball app on his iPod told him to. FML

#8364969
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23226) - you deserved it (3054)

On 02/17/2010 at 1:38am - love - by amireallyloved - United States (California)

Today, I found out my cousin - who suffers from bipolar disorder - shot herself in the chest and has only a 20 percent chance of living. I told my boyfriend, while crying, and he held me for a few minutes. As soon as I got quiet, he pulled out his iPhone and started playing a shooter game. FML

#8364770
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38066) - you deserved it (3825)

On 02/17/2010 at 1:30am - love - by lynn (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend and I were waiting for the bus. The weather had been cold and snowy recently, and I realized I'd forgotten my transit card. She nonetheless got on the bus without me. I had to walk it alone in the snow. FML

#8361360
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19278) - you deserved it (8105)

On 02/17/2010 at 12:03am - love - by kippis05 - United States (Maryland)

Today, I found my company car wrecked in a ditch. Apparently, leaving it parked on an icy hill all night was a bad idea. I have to pick up my manager from the airport. FML

#8350634
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6888) - you deserved it (22478)

On 02/16/2010 at 8:29pm - love - by croleymd - United States

Today, my boyfriend gave me a really sweet poem that he wrote for me. I think it was secondhand - the first letter of each verse spelled his ex girlfriend's name. FML

#8347033
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27597) - you deserved it (2002)

On 02/16/2010 at 7:00pm - love - by blaze (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I went to the movies with my girlfriend. I started putting my arm around her, when I hit her in the face. FML

#8340004
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11920) - you deserved it (23418)

On 02/16/2010 at 2:28pm - love - by soomeone - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Why? Because apparently her friends have seen me hanging out with a hot girl, giving her long hugs and making her laugh. That "hot girl" is my sister, who got back from her study abroad a week ago. FML

#8314834
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33325) - you deserved it (2392)

On 02/15/2010 at 9:09pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my daughter told me she wanted to be a stripper when she grew up, just like daddy's girlfriend. We're still married. FML

#8300891
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39368) - you deserved it (3455)

On 02/15/2010 at 1:58pm - love - by ShayisPay101 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that my best friend pays my boyfriend to this day to take me out. FML

#8299484
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33047) - you deserved it (2723)

On 02/15/2010 at 1:08pm - love - by thirdwheel (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while on a date with my boyfriend, he broke up with me. The reason why? Because I took a dump in his bathroom and "that's inappropriate for girls." FML

#8294637
309 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37578) - you deserved it (7469)

On 02/15/2010 at 10:21am - love - by Ashlee - United States



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