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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because her mom said she would buy her a pug if she did. I got dumped for a dog, and an ugly one for that matter. FML

#6100945
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33637) - you deserved it (5881)

On 11/01/2009 at 12:43pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my dad called me for the first time in weeks. All he wanted to tell me was that Ashlee Simpson got fired from Melrose Place. Then he hung up. FML

#6098461
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27181) - you deserved it (2157)

On 11/01/2009 at 8:37am - love - by anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was playing a game of truth or dare in a group with a girl I liked. She was dared to kiss me, but then the group decided that that was too cruel of a dare. FML

#6095945
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44213) - you deserved it (3973)

On 11/01/2009 at 1:30am - love - by Loser (man) - United States (California)

Today, my good buddy of about two years set me up on a blind date. I got to the meeting point and realized that my date was a guy. My "buddy" honestly thought I was gay. FML

#6086558
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32041) - you deserved it (3913)

On 10/31/2009 at 4:18pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I invited my very animal phobic boyfriend over. I have a dog and a rabbit, who are always well behaved so I insisted they wouldn't do him any harm. My dog peed all over his shoes and my rabbit furiously humped his leg and wouldn't let go. He's now even more terrified of animals. FML

#6081192
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26821) - you deserved it (10541)

On 10/31/2009 at 7:08am - love - by Anon (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, my boyfriend called and asked me why I love him. I told him because he's always there for me and continues to put up with my bipolar disorder. He promptly said "not anymore" and hung up. FML

#6072093
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38606) - you deserved it (4588)

On 10/30/2009 at 5:24pm - love - by screwed (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. When I asked why, she replied with "You don't go out anymore. All you do is lay in bed." I've had the flu for the past week. FML

#6066680
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33302) - you deserved it (2113)

On 10/30/2009 at 2:25am - love - by ZPyRoGoDz (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I took this gorgeous girl from work to eat at Olive Garden. I was trying to be romantic and had the waiter bring two glasses of wine. I guess she doesn't really drink wine, she covered her fettucini Alfredo in vomit. After dinner, she thanked me with a french kiss. FML

#6066504
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30673) - you deserved it (7074)

On 10/30/2009 at 2:02am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got a text from my boyfriend that said, "Last week was the most embarassing time of my life, we're over." He was of course referring to the seizure that I had due to my epilepsy at Olive Garden. FML

#6060291
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40930) - you deserved it (2359)

On 10/29/2009 at 7:44pm - love - by Allie (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, after feeling fat and ugly and a bit depressed, I logged on to Facebook to see my boyfriend had posted "I have the most beautiful girlfriend in the world!" I 'liked' it and commented "Aww thank you baby!" I logged in later to see that he commented back saying "I didn't mean you." FML

#6053348
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37816) - you deserved it (4573)

On 10/29/2009 at 10:27am - love - by deserved (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend of seven years dumped me because he said my cheeks getting way too fat for his taste and he didn't want to be with a chipmunk. FML

#6050345
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33704) - you deserved it (6948)

On 10/29/2009 at 1:20am - love - by chipmunk (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went on a first date with an employee from Sobey's who asked for my number while I was grocery shopping. We decided to each bring a friend. I brought my roommate. He brought his girlfriend. FML

#6049494
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28574) - you deserved it (3425)

On 10/29/2009 at 12:11am - love - by lds124 (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I confronted my boyfriend, suspecting that he has been cheating on me during the past few months. He vehemently denied it. Then told me it would never happen again. What? FML

#6049453
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36648) - you deserved it (2703)

On 10/29/2009 at 12:09am - love - by clueless (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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