Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I got really sick at my boyfriend's house, and barely made it to the toilet in time to throw up. it got on my shirt so I asked if I could borrow one of his. He said I could wear one of his dad's shirts because he didn't want his to get too stretched out. FML

#6626957
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31957) - you deserved it (6396)

On 12/06/2009 at 12:25am - love - by barfyshirt (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend of two years had proposed to his ex a few days behind and she had declined. FML

Today, my girlfriend of two months broke up with me because she said I remind her too much of her first boyfriend and it creeps her out. I've checked with all of her friends and family. I am her first boyfriend. FML

#6616832
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33439) - you deserved it (2838)

On 12/05/2009 at 2:14pm - love - by HellaBomber91 (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I was texting this cute guy that I like. After a couple of minutes I get a missed call from him, I call back and his girlfriend answers and says "Hi this is his girlfriend, please stop calling him". FML

#6612429
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11761) - you deserved it (26779)

On 12/05/2009 at 3:44am - love - by JennyAndrews (woman) - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, I found out that just because you're drunk, it doesn't make it okay to call your mother-in-law a fat slag. However, it does make it okay for your wife to knee you in the snow globes. FML

#6599042
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6303) - you deserved it (41155)

On 12/04/2009 at 12:33pm - love - by mainlaw (man) - Ireland (Wexford)

Today, I found out that my father asked my best friend to marry him. He's 38 and we're 18. She said yes. FML

#6593768
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53313) - you deserved it (2787)

On 12/04/2009 at 12:12am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Her birthday is tomorrow so she sent her new boyfriend to pick up her birthday present. FML

#6591482
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30738) - you deserved it (2336)

On 12/03/2009 at 10:11pm - love - by holla1787 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to a female friend of mine, because I thought they would get along. Apparently they get along better than I expected; she dumped me for the other girl. FML

#6589221
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35137) - you deserved it (3870)

On 12/03/2009 at 8:14pm - love - by Sub (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I called my wife to tell her I finally found a job after 6 months. A man answered the phone claiming to be the cable guy. We cut our cable off when I was laid off 6 months ago. FML

#6584948
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35174) - you deserved it (2182)

On 12/03/2009 at 3:13pm - love - by SatelliteUser (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I posted a note on Facebook about a weird dream I had about my ex-boyfriend, where I made out with him, then it transitioned into a vampires vs. werewolves battle. My ex private messages me and says there's a better chance of a vampires vs. werewolves battle than us ever making out again. FML

#6584536
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9060) - you deserved it (41772)

On 12/03/2009 at 2:34pm - love - by ohiochibi (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I learned my wife wasn't speaking to me because our daughter told her I kissed another woman. My daughter neglected to mention that this happened when she came to work with me yesterday, and the kiss was between me and the dummy I use to teach my interns CPR. My wife doesn't believe me. FML

#6581083
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36535) - you deserved it (2352)

On 12/03/2009 at 6:34am - love - by fmldr (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my very traditional grandmother has decided it's time for me to get married to Kevin. She's called half the town and informed them of the good news. I'm 17. I've never met Kevin. FML

#6580570
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40249) - you deserved it (1921)

On 12/03/2009 at 4:47am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend of 2 months has been faking his southern accent. FML

#6575339
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31164) - you deserved it (8328)

On 12/02/2009 at 10:15pm - love - by wooed (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



FML's blog

  • On FML, it's Halloween every day
  • As you know, we never pass up the chance to open up a light beer and plunge into the depths of the FML archive to come up with some sort of theme. Most holidays, national or otherwise, are pretty well represented.…

Friday 31 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: